Obnoxious
by LittleMulattoKitten
Summary: Hermione introduces her boyfriends to her best friend (and ex) from Uni. Draco's twitching, Theo's far too pleased with himself, Hermione just wants wine, & Blaise just wants to know more about Pavlov. Quad poly crackish fic that was never meant to be taken seriously, but the character development arcs had other plans. Romance & H/C & Humor. You'll be miserable, but happy about it.
1. Meeting Theodore

**Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU Crack Fic || One-shot || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.]_

 _~ Dedicated to Colubrina, the badass Slytherin anon on Tumblr (_ _*hearts*_ _to both of you amazing snakes), and my TumblrTwin LyndaLoyde (_ _*hearts*_ _) ~_

Hermione sighed quietly as she ran her napkin over her lips. This hadn't been the brightest of ideas, all things considered, but she was using the band-aid method. Surely this was as painful as the night would get.

She spared a glance at Theodore - sweet, ridiculous Theodore – and almost sighed again when she realized he was still silently antagonizing her boyfriends – yes, plural. Aside from placing their orders, the three men at the table hadn't said a word since they'd sat down. Draco and Blaise being quiet she understood, but Theodore? She had half a mind to see if he had a fever. He didn't _do_ quiet.

As if hearing her thoughts, the man in question sniffed quietly and sat back, breaking his back and forth staring contest with her beaus.

"You could do better," was the first thing he said, "But you've certainly done worse."

"Don't insult yourself, Theo, it's unseemly," she parried, sipping her water and wishing it were wine.

Theodore rolled his eyes. "Please. I'm the best lay you've ever had, and you know it."

Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Draco's clenched fist twitch and she sighed again.

"Must you antagonize them?" She asked.

Theo dimpled at her. "I'm sorry, Precious, am I ignoring you?"

"She isn't your Precious," Draco muttered darkly.

Theo raised a brow. "No? Tell me, Blondie, how many of her erogenous zones have you found so far? Between the two of you, of course."

"Theo," Hermione sighed.

"It's a fair question, sweetness."

Blaise spared her a glance. He was hiding his discomfort and irritation better than Draco, but he was obviously at a loss for how to handle the monster that was Theodore Nott.

"You've slept with him," he mouthed at her.

She shrugged. It was true. She and Theo were each other's firsts, only Theo was much more inclined to make sure everyone on earth knew he'd had the honors of breaking her in' as he called it. A bit arrogant, that one.

"Plenty of them," Draco answered through clenched teeth.

Theo's lazy smile slipped into place. She shouldn't have let Blaise insist they bring the wine with their entrees. She needed alcohol.

"Truly?" Theo purred tauntingly. "Because I found all of them. Even invented a few triggers. Did you know Pavlov's behavioral conditioning methods could be used sexually?"

"Theodore," she said warningly, glaring at him.

"Easy, Precious. I won't say any of them here. If we were at that little hole in the wall pub we used to go to at Uni, however? I'd be game for re-christening that back booth."

Draco's first twitched again, more noticeably this time, while Blaise suppressed a sigh and sipped his iced tea.

Where the fuck was their food and, more importantly, the alcohol? Not that _Theodore_ needed alcohol _at all_ , but she was going to lose it without some.

"I mean," Theo continued, "I'd be perfectly willing to give you a demonstration if you'd like to learn more."

"In your dreams," Draco growled as Blaise muttered, "I mean, if she's cool with it."

"Blaise!" Draco hissed.

"What?" Blaise countered. "If he's got some preprogrammed ways to make her scream I'm all ears."

Hermione gave Theo a blank stare and he fluttered his eyelashes at her. "Sorrynotsorry," he said with a wink.

"You never are," she muttered.

"How does Blondie stand the whole threesome thing if he's so shite at sharing?" Theo asked her. "Do they have to take turns? Do you have a custody schedule? Does Dark Chocolate get his turn every other day?"

She really tried not to smile and would have succeeded if Draco hadn't twitched again. Theo noticed the tick as well and smiled triumphantly while Blaise watched on with amused interest.

"I like this one best," Theo said, inclining his head towards Blaise, "Even if Blondie is a cutie patootie."

" _What_ did you just call-"

"Isn't he?" Hermione agreed, interrupting Draco's indignant squeak.

"I assumed, since you've introduced them to me, that they must be packing enough heat to meet your needs?" Theo asked.

She shrugged and sniffed daintily. "I'm pretty sure compared to the idiot I dated after you, I would consider even men not so well endowed proficient fencers."

Theo choked on his Sprite, grinning the entire time he coughed it out. "It's not that hard to sheath a sword," he managed to add after a moment.

"No, but the more talent the better."

"I've spoiled you," he said cheekily.

She grinned. "You all have."

Draco turned to Blaise, his expression pained. "Is this really happening right now?" He asked him. "Are we really having dinner with Hermione's ex, and are they _really_ having this conversation."

Theo made an offended noise. "I am _entitled_ to knowing the details of her sex life, Blondie. I kickstarted the fucking thing."

"You _aren't_ ," Draco argued hotly. "It's none of your damn business."

Theo's eyes narrowed and Hermione could see his inner queen rising to the surface.

"Theo, please," she said.

That panty-dropping lazy grin worked its way back onto his mouth for the briefest of moments. "You know I love to hear you beg, sweetness, don't tease me where I can't fuck you."

Draco audibly growled at that. " _You wouldn't be anyway_."

Theo raised a brow. "Oh sweetie, don't you get it? I boned it first, which means I _own it,_ " he snapped sassily. "And if you think for one second that I'm not going to make sure she's getting fucked _properly_ , then _you_ have another thing coming, pretty boy."

Hermione was counting the candles on the various chandeliers throughout the restaurant by this point, thus missing Blaise's smirk and another twitch from Draco. There were two-hundred and eighty candles on their side of the restaurant. Where the fuck was their food?

"So about the Pavlov thing you mentioned," Blaise began, but Draco interrupted him.

" _No!_ Why are you encouraging this shite? Do you hear the way he's talking about her?"

Blaise raised an eyebrow. "I want to learn. He knows things we don't and I like it when she screams."

Draco rubbed his hands down his face. "I do too, but, _fuck_ , _Blaise_ , we can figure it out on our own."

A quiet sound came from Theo's side of the table that may or may not have been disbelieving in nature. Hermione snorted when she heard it.

"Why do you like this egotistical bastard?" Draco asked her, his tone as miserable as the puppy dog eyes he was trying to use on her.

"If you think my ego's big you'll just _love_ my penis," chimed Theo. "'Mione certainly does. Did. Whatever."

"You're good at fencing," Hermione allowed.

Draco put his head in his hands, defeated, as Blaise cleared his throat.

"So…Pavlov?"

Their food and – thank _christ_ – the wine came halfway through Theo's explanation of keying trigger words to certain physical responses. By the time she'd finished eating, Draco was so broken he was actually participating in the discussion calmly.

"So what words did you key to her?" He asked.

"Phrases, not words. And a few combinations of things. We experimented a lot," Theo corrected with a grin as Hermione's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm not the only one with triggers," she reminded him.

"True, Precious," he allowed, still grinning with a glint in his eyes that she remembered all too well. "But I've been wanting to fuck you since I got here, so how much worse can my situation possibly get?"

She frowned. "Please."

Theo made a low noise of approval and Hermione went very still.

"Oh, Precious," he sighed contentedly. "I always do love to hear you beg."

They left shortly after that and she woke up the next morning with three men in her massive bed as opposed to two, and with a delicious soreness between her thighs that was reminiscent of the years she spent sharing a flat with the obnoxious, kinky boy spooning her.

"I'm not done with you," he murmured into her neck. "But I'm willing to share, since you love them."

"I love you too," she mumbled tiredly, wiggling her hips a bit on purpose.

He hummed low in his throat and slipped his hand down to the territory he'd reclaimed as his own. "As I do you, Precious. As I do you. Oh, and _pineapples_."

There were worse things than being adored by a psychology major, she decided.

~Fin~

 ***hearts* To everyone for reading this ridiculous thing.**


	2. The Anniversary

**Part II**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU Crack Fic || One-shot || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.] [I am looking for a beta though.]  
_

Draco did not particularly like Theodore. He was vulgar and crass, the exact opposite of what Draco expected Hermione's best friend to be.

It didn't help that Theo had managed to worm his way into their relationship without an iota of complaint from his other partners. Hermione had never been so consistently happy in the year he'd known her as she had been since Theodore moved in with them. Draco certainly hadn't invited him, so he blamed that development on Hermione and Blaise.

Draco tolerated Theo's presence and got used to having him around, but unless they were tangled together with Blaise and Hermione, the two kept to themselves. Aside from the antagonizing Draco had long since gotten bored of responding to, Theo left Draco alone, and Draco certainly didn't seek the other man out. In fact, Draco was certain he would never like Theodore.

That view changed on a seemingly arbitrary November morning.

Hermione slept in, which she absolutely never did, and started the morning in slow motion. Draco made her tea and checked her temperature, but she'd waved him off. She said she was fine; said she just hadn't slept well. Draco and Blaise had believed her.

Then Theo appeared, showered, dressed, and with a serious determination around him that was so _not Theo_ that Draco didn't recognize the man.

Draco and Blaise shared a confused glance when he immediately, and successfully, ushered Hermione upstairs to shower. She had frowned at him, but didn't protest. When they returned, Hermione was in her favorite pair of cotton capris, a tank top, and flats, with a sweater in one arm and a blank expression on her face.

"I'll be back in an hour or so," Theo had told them as he grabbed two water bottles from the fridge. "Come on, Hermione. We're taking my car."

Blaise and Draco watched on helplessly as their strong, independent girlfriend followed Theo into the garage like a ragdoll being pulled by strings. They heard him pull out of the driveway a few moments later.

"What the hell is going on?" Draco asked.

Blaise didn't know.

Anxiety and boredom drove them to tidying up while they waited for Theo to return. Draco took to deep cleaning the kitchen while Blaise disappeared upstairs to make their massive bed and collect laundry. By the time Theo returned, the dishwasher was running and a second load of colors was in the washer.

Draco hadn't even gotten a chance to open his mouth before Theo spoke up. "She's at the spa for the rest of the day. I know the owner and there are VIP perks for investors...She'll be there until nine."

Blaise sat up a little straighter on the couch and paused the TV. "What's going on?"

Theo looked at them both, really looked at them, and his already sullen expression darkened further.

"She hasn't told you," he said quietly. "Fuck."

Draco sat on one of the arms of the couch, on the side where Blaise wasn't lounging, and eyed Theodore expectantly.

"You can't let her know I've told you," Theo continued. "I'm sure you'd love it if she told me to fuck off, but she's all I have and you need – deserve - to know about today."

Draco frowned, but like Blaise he nodded and swore secrecy. Theo took Hermione's stuffed chair, the one she would normally be curled up in with that bloody cat of hers and a book, and he sighed.

"'Mione and I met before we were toilet trained," He began, not looking at either of the two other men in the room, but staring at some arbitrary spot on the coffee table. "On a playground our parents took us too. The older kids wouldn't let her play with them. I bit a boy two years older than us for yanking her hair. Made him bleed. We've been friends ever since."

Draco sat on the couch properly and got comfortable, sensing that they'd be here a while.

"We did everything together. I'm a little older, so I got to ditch nappies first, but she was so determined to catch up with me. And once you've helped someone wipe themselves you're kinda of bound for life. She followed me everywhere. I got picture books down from shelves she couldn't reach, I hurt other kids when they made her cry. She kicked a kid in the crotch once and thwacked him in the head with a hardback dictionary because he spat at me and said I had cooties. In primary school we established a reputation and by secondary everyone knew to leave us damn well alone." Theo rubbed his hands over his face. "We did an art project once. Made t-shirts and got to draw on them with that colored glue stuff? Don't remember what it's called. Mine said 'Mione's' on the front and hers said 'Theo's'. On the back I wrote 'Got Cooties?', like the milk commercials? She thought it was funny. Our mums thought it was hysterical. We wore those shirts every Friday until they didn't fit us anymore. Still have'em somewhere too."

Draco smiled slightly, picturing a tiny, frizzier version of Hermione in a t-shirt covered in kid scribble and wielding a massive dictionary. If Blaise's half-grin was anything to go by, he was as well.

"My mum died when we were fifteen."

They flinched, but Theo was still talking and didn't sound like he wanted the condolences they would have given him.

"When we were kids we were always having sleepovers, and that reinstated after Mum got sick. 'Mione never left me alone, even when I thought I wanted her too. She anchored me, went to the cemetery with me every single time. I didn't really feel 'normal' again until the summer before we went to Uni. We initially we were going for the same degree. Had all the same classes at the same times. We were going to use my dad's connections to get into publishing. Make a name for ourselves until one of us was making enough money to support us both. Then one of us would write a book, have the other publish it, get famous.

"I kissed whipped cream off her mouth when an American friend of ours convinced us that regardless of when Thanksgiving was, November was the month of pumpkin pie. We moved out of the dorms and into a flat my dad bought us two weeks later."

Theo inhaled shakily and rubbed his face again. When he clasped one fist in the other and pressed his hands against his bottom lip, Draco noticed a wet shine in his eyes.

"We did this stupid poetry night thing with some other bibliophiles every other Friday. My dad came up to watch plenty of times, but her parents were always so busy with expanding their dental practice that they could never made it. They promised to come to the last reading of the season, though. The group consisted solely of Uni kids, and since we had finals in December, the last Friday in November was when we stopped for the term. Her parents made arrangements and promised they'd be there..." Theo swallowed hard, and the painful sound carried through the silent room easily. "They got hit dead on by two pissed speeding teens twenty minutes from the café. No survivors. They all died on impact."

"Oh God," Blaise whispered.

"No, no," Draco groaned, equally as horrified as Blaise. "Please tell me she doesn't-"

"She does," Theo said quietly. "I don't know if she'll ever _not_ blame herself to some degree. She's much better about it now, but..." Theo wiped his eyes. "She was so disappointed. It was her turn to read and they weren't there. She was on that shite little stage when the officers walked in. The minute I saw them I knew and she noticed them too. She couldn't finish her reading. She just…shattered into a million pieces that night. Didn't talk for nine months."

"At all?" Asked Blaise.

Theo shook his head. "Completely mute. She'd done it once or twice when we were kids. On the few occasions that she was out of my sight those bastard kids would pounce. Tell her to shut up, stop being such a know-it-all. Nobody cared what she had to say. All that shite. It never lasted more than a few days or a week. Dad says her parents took her took her to a psych and he told them to reassure her that her words mattered. That it was a phase. She'd grow out of it." He dug his heels into his eyes. "But there was no one telling her that her words didn't matter. There was no amount of reassurance, of affection or love I could offer her to make her talk. We still went to class, but I switched my major to Psych. She did all her assignments and wrote her essays, but she didn't make a sound for almost a year."

Theo swallowed again, wiped his eyes on his sleeves and his palms on his jeans. "Obviously, she got out of it. We finished Uni, but she didn't want to take over the writing industry anymore. She didn't want to deal with people who would bring up her parents and make it all about politics. She was a miserable orphan who had gotten a double, triple technically, inheritance. Her parents hadn't spent a dime of what they'd gotten when her grandparents died. Neither of us needed to work, really. Dad gave me half of Mum's life insurance and everything she'd inherited from her deceased family. We wanted for nothing, except the things money couldn't buy. The only real problem was that Hermione wanted to get as far away from home as possible and I didn't."

"That's why you split," Blaise said quietly. "You went in different directions."

Theo shrugged. "We never explicitly broke up," he said. "But we weren't holding each other to that fact either. Believe me when I say I was just as _excited_ to meet you two as you were to meet me." He sent a look in Draco's direction and something akin to guilt stirred in the blond's chest. He would probably be an insufferable arse too if he was in Theo's shoes.

"I dabbled in a bit of casual sex while she was gone and she found you two. I got a letter or an email a few times a year notifying me that yes, she was alive and fine and missed me and would come home if I needed her to. But I never asked. I'm the last person on this Earth that would ask her to do something that might take her voice away again," Theo muttered. "Today's the anniversary of their deaths, if you hadn't inferred that on your own. I don't know what she's done the last few years - probably holed herself up and drank herself stupid - but I won't allow that."

Draco and Blaise agreed that no, she should not spend the day wallowing, and they didn't want anything to happen that may cause them to experience her muteness first hand.

"What else can we do?" Draco asked quietly.

Theo gave him a hard, piercing stare. "Don't treat her like glass. I dragged her out of here do she could try to relax and spend the day on her own. My friend – the one who owns the spa. Her name's Pansy – knows enough to make sure Hermione doesn't have to spend the day pretending she's fine. She can cry the entire time she's getting a massage or in the sauna if she wants, but she's still coming home with fresh nails and toes. I planned on cooking. Pans will feed her lunch and snacks. All organic, healthy shit to cleanse her chi or some shit."

A sullen silence fell between the three until Blaise let out a heavy sigh and stood.

"I need to go to the store anyway," He said, "What do you need to cook, Theo?"

"I started a list yesterday. It's on the fridge."

Blaise disappeared into the kitchen, leaving a very uncomfortable Draco alone with the source of his discomfort. Just when Draco had finally worked up the courage to open his mouth, Theo spoke.

"Don't, Malfoy. You don't need to convince yourself that you don't hate me just because you've heard my depressing - albeit condensed – life story," he snapped. "I don't want your fucking pity and I sure as hell don't need it."

Draco blinked, stunned. "I wasn't-"

"Bullshite! You're trying to lie to a god damn Psych Major. I did a fucking independent study on body language for two terms so I wouldn't have to play twenty questions with my mute girlfriend, do you really think you're that hard to fucking read?" Theo shouted. "I bet I know your brain better than you do. I know how you feel about 'Mione and Blaise, and Blaise's mother, and I _definitely_ know how you feel about me."

Draco flinched back. He couldn't think of anything to say. There really wasn't anything he could say, was there? Theodore would just read past it all.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled lamely.

Theo let out a bitter half-laugh. "Don't hurt yourself, Blondie."

And just like that Theodore had transformed back into his usual insufferable self. Only now Draco knew it was a mask, a mask he wore to hide from Draco.

Guilt was not a pleasant thing to be immersed in.

Blaise had taken over the cooking once he realized that Theo's menu for the evening was full of simple, carb dense dishes he knew how to cook. He had also shooed the other man out the door to go pick up their girlfriend when he started to get antsy and pace the kitchen.

"Sit in the parking lot for thirty minutes, for all I care," he'd sighed, exasperated. "But you're driving me up the fucking wall, babe."

With Theo gone, Draco and Blaise were alone in the house again. The former was staring into a partially-cooled cup of tea while the latter waited patiently for the other to start speaking.

"How do I fix it?" Eventually floated from the island. "I just…damnit, Blaise, I don't understand. Did you already know why he's the way he is? He's _unbearable_ most of the time and it's an act, for god's sake! How do you grow to love someone like that?"

Blaise sighed and stirred the fettuccini noodles. That shit stuck to the pan fast if you didn't keep an eye on it.

"I guess I just knew he was full of shit early on?" Blaise answered, his voice unsure. "I dunno, Dray. You know Hermione's got a hell of a built in douche bag radar. She wouldn't put up with him when he's in a mood if he was a complete tool. I looked for what she saw in him and I found it." He shrugged. "From there I could see his bullshit for what it was. It's just humorous now, because I know he speaks in half-truths and double-entendres."

"But does it not drive you mad?" Draco pressed, frowning at Blaise's back.

Blaise shrugged again and briefly opened the oven door to check on the brownies. Not quite done.

"Sometimes," Blaise admitted, "But he knows when he's gotten into dangerous territory, usually before _I_ know he's starting to press my buttons. I think he uses verbal communication to distract people from his own subtler non-verbal signals. People pick up on little cues without even being consciously aware of it, you know. And Theodore knows just how to scramble the signals he's sending." Blaise set a strainer in the sink for the fettuccini before carefully fishing out one noddle with the slotted spaghetti server. He added two more minutes to the timer counting down on the microwave. "That's why you think he's arrogant," He continued when Draco stayed silent. "He wants you to think that. You jumped to conclusions the night we met him. He fed you false signals and you ate them out of the palm of his hand instead of analyzing the entire situation for what it was. He's…odd in the sense that he refuses to give people angelic first impressions of himself. If someone quick to judge him, rather than thinking and trying to figure out the games he plays, then he just keeps playing them. People have to earn his real side."

"That doesn't make sense," Draco muttered. "Why isolate yourself like that if you know most people are going to take everything you say and do at face value?"

Blaise turned around for a moment. "Draco. I know you know I heard you two earlier. He wasn't lying when he said she's all he has. Even when he wasn't this way people judged him. In secondary he got hell for being bisexual and there's only so much your friend and fellow bully victim can do without getting you both expelled. Yeah, he has his dad, but he can't really talk about his relationship with all of us to him. He can't talk about the other people in his life with his Father. Hermione said his dad doesn't judge him, but-"

"Theo knows it makes him uncomfortable," Draco finished. The longer they had this conversation the worse he felt. He'd spent the last six months wishing Theodore would vanish back to wherever he'd come from, but the man didn't really have anywhere else to go. Didn't have anyone else to go to. "How do I fix it?" He asked again.

Blaise pulled out the pan of brownies and set it on a cooling rack, then strained the noodles and found a jar of alfredo before he responded again. "Pay attention," he advised. "Look under the mask and find Theo. You'll know him when you see him. He looks a little scared and a little lost, like a little kid waiting for someone to steal his favorite toy. And once you've found him, you'll already be halfway in love with him, so take the man to dinner and maybe suck him off when you get back."

Draco choked on his tea. "He's rubbing off on you," he managed a moment later.

Blaise threw him a Cheshire grin. "Often, yes. You should know this. We all sleep in the same bed."

Draco glared at his boyfriend and was laughed at in return. "If you need something to look forward to, he really is quite good at fencing."

Blaise's guffaws followed Draco as he left stomped out of the kitchen, tea forgotten.

Draco had failed to read the same paragraph eight times and it was Theo's fault. Draco was in the living room, _minding his own business_ , when the other man appeared and parked himself up against the doorframe.

"Really?"

Draco turned a page, but kept the previous one marked with his finger. He'd get back to it later when he could focus.

"You're going to have to be a bit more direct," Draco muttered, refusing to play into whatever game Theodore had concocted. He'd gotten more creative with his methods of grating on Draco's nerves, but ever since that grim November day, his attempts had been less and less successful.

Funny how even the least tolerable of people became more tolerable when you understood them a bit better.

Theodore waved a very crisp tri-folded piece of parchment in one hand and waved it in Draco's direction. "This, Malfoy. What the fuck is this?"

Draco flipped another page and did his best not to fidget. He wasn't going to be the one to back down this time "Looks like a letter."

"No shit, prick," Theo hissed. " _What the fuck is it_?"

"We just talked about this," Draco said in the same patient tone he'd often received from his mother as a child. "It's a letter. You sure you're feeling alri-"

" _Draco_."

He caved, Theo's almost exasperated but rather pained tone making him forget that he was supposed to be pretending to read, and glanced up. The letter was quivering slightly in Theo's shaking hand.

"It's an invitation," Draco said quietly. "One I didn't – don't – expect an answer to and certainly didn't expect you to acknowledge."

Theo sucked a breath in through his teeth. " _Why_? We aren't friends, Blondie, we're just dating the same people." They both frowned at that last sentence. "Never thought I'd say that."

Draco never thought he'd notice that Theodore only called him Blondie when he was nervous.

"I thought you read people like open books?" Draco said quietly. "Maybe we both did the same thing. I expected an arse so I saw one. You expected to see me hating you, so that even when that changed-"

"What should I wear?"

Stunned, Draco just stared at the still slightly trembling man in the door way. "I…what?"

"What. Should. I. Wear." Theodore repeated tauntingly slow.

"Um," Draco faltered. "Is that a yes? I wasn't expecting a yes. I was testing the waters so I could strategize accordingly and-"

"The café up the street?" Theo interrupted. "They're open late on Saturdays and sparingly that's their slowest evening this time of year."

"You're saying yes," Draco repeated dumbly.

"Nine?" Theo continued. Then, without waiting for an answer, he pivoted on his heel and vanished somewhere deeper in the house.

Draco stared at the spot where he'd just been, deeply confused and trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. The locks slid and clicked on the front door as Blaise and Hermione returned from the store. Blaise snorted at the look on Draco's face, took the extra bags from Hermione's arms, and said, "You're turn."

"What's wrong?" she asked him, taking a seat beside him and barely far enough away to not be considered in his lap. "Did something happen."

"I think I have a date tonight," he murmured. Her fingers found their way into his hair and he leaned into the pleasant touch. "I assume Blaise told you."

"He did," she said with a small smile. "That was idiotically, sickeningly adorable sending him a letter to ask him out. What did he do?"

"I think he yelled at me, technically?" Draco continued, finally turning away from the door, though he was still utterly bemused. "I'm not quite sure what happened. I told him I hadn't planned out this far and he just ignored me and set up the date? Nine, he said. We're going to that café you like at nine."

Hermione bit her lip, trying not to giggle at him, and Draco frowned. "I'm sorry," she said, though she didn't sound it. "I'm not trying to make fun of you. It's just really amusing to watch." Her nails gently raked through the hairs on the nape of his neck, sending signals to places he'd much rather focus his energy on as opposed to trying to understand Theodore.

He held her hip to steady her and leaned in to start trailing kisses along her throat. "I think I can be persuaded to forgive you," he murmured.

Her new position, he noted, could not be classified as anything _other_ than in his lap, and he found himself preferring it to the alternative very much.

~End of Part II~

 ***hearts* To everyone for reading this thing that started out ridiculous and then somehow developed emotions and plot.  
**


	3. Daphne and Astoria

**Part III**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU Crack Fic || One-shot || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.] [I am looking for a beta though.]_

Draco sighed heavily at his mother's letter. First, who sent letters anymore? Sure he'd sent Theo a letter to invite him on a proper date but that had been cowardice in its purest form, not him using pen and paper as means of communication in a literal sense.

And second, he was really tired of trying to explain to her that he wasn't going to 'settle down' and find a 'proper' wife. One, if he got married it would be to multiple people. Two, he'd been with Blaise for four years, Hermione two and a half-ish, and Theodore had been living with them for almost a year now. His relationship with Theo, however, had a much less stable foundation and was…not fully formed.

Theodore was certainly more tolerable now. Their first, and only, date had been extremely uncomfortable but otherwise had gone quite smoothly. They'd gotten a late night snack at the café, gone home, gotten ready to join Blaise and Hermione in bed, and aside from a few recreational activities, that had been it. Draco had a sort of half-memory of lips against his forehead as he fell asleep, but given Theodore's personality, he dismissed it as a fragmented dream. Or Hermione possibly.

Theo was only affectionate with the other two.

Draco did not want to, nor did he feel like he should, be bothered by that fact. And yet, staring at his mother's letter, he found that he was. There was nothing easy in his life, was there?

Trying to talk Narcissa Malfoy out of her insane little idea of marriage would be so much more complicated given the last few years. He'd never told his family about Hermione. As far as his mother knew, he was still dating Blaise - _only_ Blaise, and Blaise was not a woman which meant Draco should really reconsider and perhaps try again with the fairer sex? Just to be certain? He'd never know unless he tried.

Well, technically, he had. Only Hermione was dating both himself and Blaise, a fact that would surely give his mother a stroke. Throw in Theodore and…honestly the entire thing would be a nightmare. It wasn't that he thought he'd be disowned…if only because he was an only child, but knowing his mother would probably never accept his partners bothered him immensely.

"You've been frowning at that gaudy piece of stationary for a good ten minutes now."

Draco jumped, cursing, and his gaze snapped up to Theo leaning casually against the counter, tea in hand, and – sigh - _completely_ naked.

"There are these things," Draco began slowly, eyes trained on Theo's face where they belonged. "They're called _pants_."

Theo shrugged. "I'm only here for tea. It would be such a bother to put pants on when I'll just have to take them off again when I go back upstairs." At Draco's inquiring look, he added, "Y'know how Blaise has been buying a ton of sex books – manuals, really - lately? Well apparently there's something called throat training? It's supposed to rid 'Mione of her gag reflex. She's doing well, according to him."

Draco blinked very slowly. "You've been taking turns getting blown all morning?"

"Basically," Theo grinned. "It's kinda cute really. She's trying so hard to fight the reflex and you know how she gets when you challenge her with something. I doubt she'll be talking much for a bit."

"Jesus," Draco muttered. "Thanks for the invitation."

"Well I just told you. Figured that part's implied," Theo said with a roll of his eyes. "What's got your briefs in a twist?" He asked, inclining his head towards the letter again.

Draco shrugged. "Family shite. Not important really," He said, but Theodore had already plucked the stationary from Draco's hands. "No! Damnit, Theodore, that isn't yours!"

He wasn't listening of course, and to Draco's extreme discomfort, the other man read the letter in record time.

"Wow," Theo said after a moment. "I take it she doesn't know about Hermione, then?"

"No," Draco bit out, then as an afterthought, added, "It's not because I don't love her! I _do_. I'd just rather not subject any of us to…"

"Your mother's bigoted expectations," Theo finished, eyeing the letter with no small amount of disdain. "Tell me, Draco, what would you prefer: Replying and explaining the specifications of our sinful little nest to your mother, _or_ , agreeing to the stupid thing and subjecting-" He squinted at the note briefly, "-Daphne and Astoria Greengrass to _me_."

Draco's eyes widened. "We _can't_."

" _I_ can," Theo corrected. "Honestly, all you'd have to do is show up with us. I'll handle the Mummy-approved sisters, they'll run back to whatever cookie-cutter society they came from and report back to your mum." He shrugged. "It's easy."

"But…" Draco trailed off and looked away. Honestly this conversation would be so much easier if Theo would have just put on some bloody pants.

"Will she cut you off?"

Draco grunted bitterly. "I don't have siblings, so I doubt it. I just…"

"Want her to understand."

Draco met Theo's eyes once again. "Yeah."

Theo glanced at the note briefly, then looked back to Draco. "You're going to have to rip the band aid here. She's not just going to go 'Oh he's insisted that he's happy with his partners, so I support him', parent's don't work that way, usually. She thinks she knows best. You're gonna have to shove the fact that she _doesn't_ down her throat." Theo paused, smirking briefly. "Pun unintended, but I'm not retracting it."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You're hilarious."

"I try, Blondie, I try."

Frowning pensively, Draco muttered, "And if she does disown me? What then?"

Theo tilted his head curiously like a child quite not sure what he was looking at. "Then I suppose it's fortunate that you live with three other trust fund children," He said. "Do you think we'd demand you get a job, Malfoy? Really? Why the fuck would we care? Even if we broke up, which I don't see happening, do you think we'd make you crawl back home begging for mummy's money?" Theo shook his head. "Write back and set the damn date. Or _call her_ like a person from this fucking century would. I'll handle mummy's poster girl's for a proper marriage of privilege."

 _I know you will_ , Draco thought as Theo put his cup in the sink and headed back upstairs. _That's_ _the problem_.

But Draco was really tired of trying to fight this battle with words.

He needed a pen. Then he was going upstairs.

Draco pushed the café door open, holding it for Blaise, who took over the task of holding it open when he reached it, and he scanned the room. Daphne and Astoria hadn't noticed them yet, but the two were already seated at a table meant to seat six – even though he knew they expected two seats to remain empty – with fancy little frappuccinos and – bloody hell – the daintiest little scones he'd ever seen. Both sisters were fair haired and light-eyed, thought Daphne had always come off at the more 'womanly' of the two, whereas Astoria retained her 'girlish charms' and used them to her every advantage. Draco didn't want to know what sort of 'advantages' one gained from acting half their age. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

As Draco and his entourage made their way to the counter to order, he realized that he had no one to help him keep Theodore reigned in. Thanks to Blaise's admittedly _delightful_ throat training idea, Hermione could barely talk. Granted, they were all immensely smug about the whole thing, and she really was making excellent progress with ridding herself of such a pesky reflex, but Theo _listened_ to her. _Only_ her.

Not for the first time, he wondered if this had been a good idea. He sighed quietly, glancing at his partners, and decided that yes this needed to happen and yes it needed to happen now, not in another three years when his mother got antsy _and_ nosy. Band aid method, Theodore had told him. It was time to just rip it off.

With their orders made and his drink in hand, Draco braced himself for the confrontation ahead and lead his partners to the table in the back of the café...

"Daphne, Astoria," He greeted, using the manners his mother had taught him even if he so dearly wished to tell them both to fuck off. "You both look well."

Being the entitled society children they were, the ladies each held out their hands and he dutifully kissed their fingers as briefly as he could get away with.

The girls noticed his party as they were all sitting down.

"Oh," Astoria said in a tone Draco knew to be slightly higher than her normal speaking voice, and with far too much innocent confusion to be genuine. "Your mother only mentioned you were bringing your, um… _partner_ , Draco. We weren't expecting a group…"

Draco felt the air shift and didn't even attempt to beat cut Theo off.

"Oh," he mimicked, though it was a mockery so subtle the sisters missed it. "See, Mrs. Malfoy doesn't know there's more than one, um, _partner_. So she forgot to tag on the 's'," He said sweetly. His smile scared Draco. "How rude of me. I'm _Theodore_ , this is Blaise – he's the one you were _expecting_ – and _that_ pretty little thing is our Hermione. Unfortunately, she's having a bit of trouble with her voice today, so she probably won't be chatting with us much."

Draco wanted to crawl under the table. Not even two minutes in and the fucker was already leading his witnesses.

"Oh no," Daphne said with a frown in Hermione's direction. "You poor thing. Are you sick?"

"God damnit," Draco muttered under his breath, being heard only by Hermione to his left if the slight turn of her lips was anything to go by.

"No no," Theo assured them with a chuckle. "Healthiest little thing you ever did see, I promise you."

Draco took a slow sip of his mocha and prayed – _prayed_ – that neither of the Greengrass girls walked headfirst into Theo's trap.

"Then what's wrong with her?" Astoria asked with an exaggerated tilt of her head.

Fuck.

Theo chuckled again, trailing his finger around the lid of his hot chai. "Sweetie, she's being getting cocks shoved down her throat all week. You wouldn't be talking either."

Astoria sputtered and choked on the dainty sip of her milkshake disguised as coffee while Daphne's eyes widened.

" _Excuse me_?"

Draco sighed as the man's grin went from cheerful to downright predatory. "You heard me."

Daphne shifted her aghast expression to Draco, whose face was carefully blank save for a raised brow.

"Don't look at him like he has any control over what I say," Theodore snapped, quickly regaining the attention of both sisters. "My cock was in his mouth this morning, and that's just the beginning of the list of reasons why I won't be doing anything he says. There's a hierarchy in this little foursome of ours, sweetlings, and Draco isn't at the top of it."

No, he wasn't. Technically, Hermione was, since Blaise and Draco had worshipped her – and each other – prior to Theodore's arrival. But she was also the only one of them capable of taming Theodore when his leash needed reigned in. Not that she ever actually called him to a heel. They spoke each other's body language so well, no doubt a byproduct of Hermione's time as a mute, that Theodore always toned things down before he reached any points of no return.

But, naturally, Daphne and Astoria didn't focus on the hierarchy comment. They had completely missed the polygamy the first time Theo had mentioned it, meaning _now_ that fact had actually sunk in.

"You're…all…?" Astoria struggled, her confusion as genuine as her sister's horror.

"That's…That's disgusting!" Daphne sneered, turning to Draco. "What would your mother say?! How can you be with… _all of them_ and still maintain any semblance of faithfulness?"

"We're _all_ together," Draco said softly, surprised Theo had let him get a word in. "All of us. One relationship. Four people. Yes, we each have our own individual relationships within that, our own bonds, and not all of them are on the same level or at the same stage, but we're _all together_ , Daphne. Everyone's aware of the boundaries and consents to the arrangement. We're happy."

Whatever argument Daphne had been about to screech out what interrupted by Theo.

"Let me teach you something, sweetlings, because I'm very amused by what I see," he said, his voice still coated in politeness, but now with a pinch of the curiosity Draco recognized as the psych major analyzing something of interest. "You," he pointed to Daphne, "Are appalled, clearly. Why? Because you're inclined toward monogamy and a tad on the jealous side when it comes to your partner, and yes, I'm well aware that you do, in fact, have one. I imagine you love that person very much, because you _certainly_ don't want to be here and you _certainly_ aren't interested in my Blondie."

Theo continued, ignoring the daggers Daphne was glaring at him and turned to Astoria. "And _you_ , sweetums, well you've never been in love at all, have you? Still all pure and proper too, hm? Saving it for marriage like mummy and daddy told you too. Commendable, sweetie, and to each his own. I couldn't do it, personally, but good for you," his said with a shrug. "But you've got no frame of reference, here. You're curious. You're lonely. You wish had a love of your own like big sissy does and you never even knew loving multiple people was an option, did you?"

Astoria's blush was, of course, answer enough.

Theo hummed. "I'd thought not. Keep an open mind, precious. Love isn't a linear thing. It comes in all different wavelengths and colors and all sorts of wonderful things. It's malleable, not concrete. And no one has the right to tell you otherwise."

Draco's mocha was half gone, disappointing him greatly, but the realization gave him an excuse to stop pointedly ignoring everything at the table and spare a glance at Hermione. She'd barely touched her iced chai and had been playing on her phone for most the afternoon's proceedings. Feeling his stare, she glanced up. He mouthed a quick 'You okay?' to which he got a nod of assurance. He spared a glance at Blaise too while he was at it - He looked bored.

Draco's phone buzzed and, discretely, he fished it out of his pocket. Expecting a text, he was surprised to find that Hermione had started a group chat with himself and Blaise. She had typed **_Welcome to the club, Dray._** and tagged on a few gently smiling emojis.

 ** _What club?_** he typed quickly, and set his phone on his thigh for easy access.

"Who do you think you are?" Daphne demanded suddenly. "You have to be the most vulgar, uncouth, _uncultured_ -"

"Honey, stop, you'll make me blush," Theo interrupted, batting his eyelashes tauntingly. "I don't _think_ I'm anything, but I do _know_ that my vocabulary surpasses yours, so why don't you quit before you run out of adjectives you've heard Mummy use when she talks about poor people."

Blaise snorted softly from his side of the table and sipping his drink in a half-assed attempt to cover it up.

"You're disgusting," Daphne spat. "All of you, your entire ' _relationship'_!"

"Kinkshaming," Theo scolded. "Is frowned upon in most social circles. Including this one, Bitch."

"Whore," Daphne threw back.

Theo gasped. "Oooh. That's a _bad_ word. What would mummy say? Have you ever _used it_ before?" He gasped again, as if suddenly thinking of something. "Am…am I your _first_?"

A quiet, raspy, broken sound came from Hermione that probably would have been a snort or a giggle if her throat were healed. Draco's phone buzzed once, then again a moment later.

 ** _Blaise: Hermione_** ** _don't_** ** _tease him so. You know he_** ** _doesn't_** ** _pick up on things quickly_**

Draco glared at the screen. Ha ha, arseholes.

 ** _Hermione: *sigh* Surely_** ** _he's_** ** _figured it out by now, though right?_**

Draco rolled his eyes and didn't type out another response. If they wanted to speak in riddles, they could talk to themselves. Arses.

With Daphne on the verge of either exploding or having a stroke and Astoria still glancing between them all with an expression Draco found akin to someone trying solve a particularly difficult equation, it was safe to say that neither of these women would be leaving with the notion of becoming the next Mrs. Malfoy. Of course, that didn't mean Theodore was going to accept his mission as accomplished and cease the assault.

Far from it.

"Precious, do you want me to draw you a diagram?" He asked Astoria carefully. "You keep thinking so hard and your pretty little head's gonna burst. And you stay quiet, Kinkshamer, no one's talking to you at the moment."

"Theodore, please," Draco mumbled, not even glancing to his right or actually putting any effort into begging.

Theo tsked and, very suggestively, said " _Behave_ , Draco, we're in public."

Blaise and Hermione made strange noises again.

"But how…how does that work?" Astoria asked quietly, her eyes flicking briefly towards Hermione in confusion. "You just…share?"

"Jesus Christ," Blaise muttered under his breath. Theo was the only one who heard him, but Hermione saw him rubbing a temple and sent him a heart emoji through Facebook. After searching a moment, Blaise found the 'blowing kisses' emoji and sent her three. Draco tried not to shake his head at his phone.

"Sometimes we 'share' as you put it," Theo answered Astoria with a kind patience he did not bestow upon her sister. "You lady creatures have three holes, love, do the math. Sometimes we take turns. Sometimes we're in pairs. There are loads of combinations, really." He winked at her. "That's part of the fun, doll."

"Your mother should be ashamed of you," Daphne hissed at Draco.

"Your mother should have _aborted_ you," Theo snarled, all patience and kindness vanishing in an instant. "Take a look at your life princess. Take a look at _why you're here_. To seduce a man you don't have any interest in because your mothers suggested it? To try and push your _sister_ in his direction in your stead? All for what? Money? Advantage? This isn't the fucking dark ages, sweetheart, and if you're so dependent on Mummy and Daddy's money that you can't even make a decision about who to spend the _rest of your life with_ of your own free fucking will, then you're a hell of a lot more fucking up than you realize. More so than you think _we_ are."

 _Jesus,_ Draco thought. He'd never seen Daphne shake with anger. He'd never seen her so not composed. And _Christ_ Theo was scary when he lost his temper like that. And attractive. Scarily attractive.

"We're leaving," Daphne announced, standing and shouldering her obnoxiously blue designer bag before grabbing what was left of her frappuccino. "Let's go, Tori."

Astoria continued frowning and did not stand right away, to her sister's irritation. "You all love each other?" She asked Theo.

"Very much," He answered, his voice surprisingly gentle one more.

Astoria turned her frown to her sister. "Then why's it disgusting?"

Daphne groaned in frustration. "It's _wrong_ , Tori, now come _on._ "

"But why is it wrong?" Astoria pressed. "Why does it matter? It's no different that Mum and Dad loving each other. There's just more variables involved."

"Looks like all the brains went to Offspring Number 2," chimed Theo. "You keep that rational and open mind, Darling. It will serve you well in life."

As Daphne all but dragged Astoria out of the café, Draco's phone vibrated again.

 ** _Hermione: You didn't think he'd go through this bullshite for just anyone did you?_**

 ** _No,_** He replied. **_But I'm still confused about the whole "club" thing._**

 ** _Blaise: Welcome to the Theo Loves Me Club, you dolt._**

"Are you guys ready to get the hell out of here?" Theo asked them. "I need something stronger than coffee after that shit show."

"Thank you," Draco mumbled quietly.

Theo looked at him with that curious head tilt from the other day again. "You know I'm not into watersports, Blondie, but I'll piss on what's mine when I have to."

Draco sighed. "We could have had a really nice moment there, you know."

Theo smirked and, too quickly for Draco to react, pecked him on the lips. "But having a moment wouldn't have riled you," he said as he stood and stretched. "And where's the fun in that?"

Blaise drove home, putting Draco in the passenger seat and Theo and Hermione in the back. Once they were on the road, Draco took out his phone again, hoping Theodore wouldn't be reading over 'Mione's shoulder.

 ** _So does this club have t-shirts? Hats?_**

He heard her raspy snicker from behind him.

 ** _Uh...not yet, but we pay tribute to the same cock almost daily?_**

He snorted. **_That sounds like a ritual. Is this a club or a cult?_**

"I'd like a cult dedicated to worshipping my cock," Theo chimed suddenly. "If you really want t-shirts I can make that happen too. I know a guy."

Draco sighed just as Blaise asked what the hell they were talking about.

"I'm being rude and nosy," Theo explained proudly.

"Nothing new then, carry on," Blaise said, clearly amused.

Draco's phone buzzed.

 ** _Whatever this is, in my experience it's for life. Like a tattoo._**

 ** _Tattoos can be removed,_** he pointed out.

"Draco there's only room for one sarcastic asshole in this unholy fuck nest, I'm gonna have to ask you to not," Theo chirped.

"You used my first name," Draco threw back.

"Well, if you prefer Blondie, I'm happy to accommodate."

Draco shrugged, though he didn't know if Theo was looking at him. "Was just surprised."

Theo snorted. "Yeah. As I'm sure you noticed, I tend to have that effect on people."

Draco smiled, glancing out the window and briefly meeting Hermione's grin in the side mirror. "You do a lot more than surprise people, Theo, and you know it."

"I'm taking that as a compliment."

"Take it up your arse for all I care," Draco muttered.

"Who's taking what up where?" Theo asked cheekily. "Because _that_ sounded like either a promise or an invitation."

Draco purposefully didn't answer. Let the arse figure it out on his own, he decided, as his phone buzzed once more.

 ** _They can be, but you won't want to remove this one. He's useful. And particularly good at fencing, among other things. He may be a shite, but when he loves he loves hard. Once you're in its for life, Dray._**

He met Hermione's eyes in the side view again.

 ** _He's not gonna wipe my arse too is he? That's not some rite of passage?_**

Hermione laughed so hard she coughed, which hurt her throat and made her reach forward to smack his arm. With no cheeky comment from Theodore, Draco safely assumed she made sure he didn't read that one.

 ** _He's rubbing off on you_** , she typed when she'd calmed down.

Draco snorted. **_Not yet, but eventually I'm sure. We do sleep in the same bed. It's only a matter of time, isn't it?_**

"Was _that_ an invitation?"

Draco sighed as Hermione giggle-coughed again. Theodore Nott would be the death of him. He was certain of it.

~End of Part III~

 ***hearts* To everyone for reading this silly thing. I plan on having on or two more chapters of this, assuming Theodore cooperates and continues being entertaining. *fingers crossed* Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews as well!**


	4. Lines in the Sand

**Part IV**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU Bipolar Crack Fic || One-shot || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.] [I am looking for a beta though.]_

There were a lot of anniversaries to celebrate in the Malfoy Granger Zabini Nott household. There was Draco and Blaise's, Blaise and Hermione's, Draco and Hermione's, Theo and Hermione's, Theo and Blaise's, Theo and Draco's, and their anniversary as a group. Granted, this all sounded perfectly ridiculous when explained aloud, but the dates were spaced out enough, and their dynamic was comfortable enough, for duos to pair off on the necessary dates and celebrate accordingly.

Their system of acknowledging every relationship within the group provided several benefits. Everyone feel better about asking for alone time with one member or another rather than feeling guilty or selfish for wanting a night out on occasion. Eventually they even decided to make a habit of trying to have a date night with each partner at least once a month, with at least two group dates a month as well.

As a result, they argued less, didn't get as tired or frustrated with each other nearly as often, and for the most part everyone coexisted peacefully. But sometimes lines creeped up in the sand, dividing the group and putting strain on everyone involved. Usually it was a quick fix, a misunderstanding easily remedied by a night in, wine, good stamina, and four very amorous appetites. Never had something gotten blown so far out of proportion that their relationship – their _family_ – was called into question…

Until Draco arrived home from an early trip to the grocery one morning and found Blaise on the living room couch angrier than Draco had ever seen him. What could have caused Blaise, the only truly cool-headed person in the house, to blow a gasket so thoroughly?

"What happened?" Draco asked, his mind racing through a plethora of reasons for his boyfriend's ire.

Blaise didn't look away from the stretch of wall between the mounted TV and the entertainment center he was glaring daggers at. "They're acting strange," he said in a very low, tense voice. "Bad strange, Dray, and neither of them will give me a straight fucking answer. Theo? Expected. Hermione employing Theodore's tactics? No."

Draco frowned and set the two thermally insulated grocery totes he'd been carrying on the floor. The groceries could wait for now. "Explain," He prompted as he moved over to the sofa and sat down. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

Blaise inhaled very slowly. "They're going to his dad's for a few days."

Draco blinked in surprise. "O…kay. This is sudden…"

" _E_ -yup."

"They're leaving today?"

" _E_ -yup."

"…Why?"

Blaise gave him a bitter smile. "They won't tell me."

"Should we pack?" He started, running a hand through his hair. "Do they need us to-"

"We are explicitly _not_ invited," Blaise interrupted, irritation shining in his eyes. "Theodore made sure _that_ was crystal fucking clear."

Draco swallowed uncomfortably. "What the hell is going on?"

"I wish a knew," said Blaise. "I wish I knew…"

Silence hung heavily between them until Theodore and Hermione came downstairs, each with a backpack slung over one shoulder, which they deposited on the floor just outside the kitchen. Theo rolled a small suitcase against the wall as well, then turned to Hermione.

"Are we forgetting anything?" He asked as he brushed a few stray strands of hair out of his face.

Frowning in thought, she ticked off her fingers. "Toiletries. Clothes. Ourselves. Car keys. Wallets…" She nodded firmly. "All we need to do is pack up, make some drinks for the road, and go."

Deciding to play dumb just in case tension was still high with his other partners, Draco calmly asked, "Where are you two going?"

The pair hadn't realized anyone was in the living room behind them and jumped Draco's voice.

"Good," said Theo, turning towards them. "'Mione was worried you wouldn't get back before we left." He sounded genuinely pleased even though his eyes were a little hard and he wasn't looking at Blaise. "Father called and I, the ever dutiful son, can deny him nothing so we're venturing to our old stomping grounds. Won't be gone longer than a few days, though."

Blaise made a noise caught between a scoff and a snort. "I'd love to meet the man who inspires that level of respect from _you_ , of all people," he said, though his bitter unspoken insinuation was clear.

Theodore raised an unimpressed brow in Blaise's direction. "Four-twenty, we talked about this," he said with an exaggerated sigh. "Your lack of faith is both insulting and-" his eyes briefly flicked over Blaise "-frankly, unattractive."

Draco frowned when he saw Hermione shake her head and slip into the kitchen. It was odd watching her just let Theo be Theo. Usually she was his reasonable echo, their Theodore translator, but she wasn't acknowledging that he was stirring pots that didn't need stirred.

Theo's needless taunting had the desired effect. Blaise tensed and his dark grey eyes flashing in a way that worried Draco further. "Y'know, Theodore it's a simple question. All I asked is why you two needed to up and vanish. Is that really so unreasonable?"

Draco winced, knowing what was coming next.

"Yes," Theo replied very slowly. "Considering I told you not to worry about it."

"I don't take orders from you, Theodore," Blaise said darkly.

"And _I_ ," Theo drawled, his voice unnaturally steady, "Don't pander to your insecurities." He paused to an imaginary piece of lint from his shirt. "We will be home in a few days and that is all you need to know."

"The fuck it is!" Blaise shouted, standing from the couch, but —thankfully— he didn't move towards Theo. Or, lord forbid, get in his face. "It's a simple fucking question, Theo. And if you weren't being so damn suspicious about it by _not answering_ and deflecting everything, there wouldn't be a damn problem."

Theo's eyebrow twitched upwards again. "And if you _trusted us_ then _maybe_ you wouldn't have your boxers in a twist, Four-twenty."

"Stop _. Fucking._ Calling me that," Blaise snarled.

Theodore tilted his head to the side and arched a brow. "Four-twenty, Dark chocolate, Hot chocolate, Espresso, Mocha drizzle, pot brownie-"

"You done?" Blaise snapped.

Theo straightened and shrugged. "I was gonna say 'Anaconda', but since you decided to be rude, I'll refrain."

"You wound me," Blaise snarked, grinding his teeth.

Theo mock pouted. "Oh, Baby, I'm sorry, but look at it this way: at least I'm not interrogating you over something supremely unimportant and making a mountain out of a molehill by insinuating you're hiding something."

"I'm allowed to be concerned about both of you," Blaise argued. "We're _dating_. I'd be a bad boyfriend if I _didn't_ care."

"I know that, Cocoa Bean," Theo placated, though his sarcasm was still quite clear, "That's why I told you that you didn't need to worry. So you wouldn't feel guilty about letting it go. Elsa style, baby, though I think you'd look better in a different shade of blue. Her dress was a tad aquamarine. Maybe deep periwinkle instead?"

"Theo…" Draco said quietly.

"What?" Thedore asked with a frown. "He'd look better in periwinkle. Otherwise he'd basically be wearing a highlighter. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't want my bae to look his best in drag?"

"All I want," Blaise said slowly, ignoring Theo's attempt to get even more of a rise of out him, "Is to know what's going on because I care about you two."

"And what's going on is none of your concern," Theo replied just as Hermione stepped into the living room."

"Hey," she interjected, then focused her attention on Blaise. "We gotta go," she told them gently. "You really don't need to worry, though."

"There isn't even anything to worry about," Theo chimed, glaring at Blaise. "Unless of course he's worried about something positively ridiculous, but the only things I can think of that might cause him to be this pissy about the whole thing are so delusional I'd lose brain cells if I spoke them aloud."

"A lie by omission is still a lie," Blaise argued, glancing between them both, but he spoke less harshly to Hermione. "You know my question isn't unreasonable. The fact that I can't even get the smallest of answers for it _is_ though."

"Let it go," she said very quietly and very calmly, just as Theodore snorted.

"Honestly, Blaziken, what's got you so worried anyhow? We're going to _my dad's_ for fuck's sake."

"Yes, Theo, you're leaving very suddenly and with no warning," Blaise said tightly. "And did you just call me a fucking _Pokémon_?"

"A fire type," Theo affirmed. "Sometimes things come up, Darling. Life is like a box of erections."

Draco rolled his eyes and sighed. "That is not how that quote goes."

"Have you taken a look at our sex toy collection lately?" Theo asked. "We literally have a box of cocks upstairs. The quote stands. Tall and proud. Like a dick."

Blaise groaned loudly, running his hands over his face before glancing over his shoulder at Draco and giving him an exasperated stare. Draco gave him an understanding smile, but when he turned back towards Theo and Hermione, Theo's arrogant mask had vanished entirely. Draco almost missed the way Theo's flicked over Blaise and he watched worriedly as Theo completely shut down.

Blaise sense the empty stare he was receiving and glanced in Theo's direction, flinching in surprise at the look on his face.

"What the fuck is wrong now?" Blaise asked worriedly.

Hermione was looking at Theo now, her eyes wide with concern, but otherwise she was perfectly still beside him.

"Theo?" She asked quietly.

He shook his head, seemingly to clear it, a beat too late and without taking his eyes off Blaise, said, "You wanna drive?"

"I can," she answered slowly.

"I'm gonna go pack up the car."

He walked around Hermione to grab their bags from the hall and stalked through the kitchen towards the garage. He hadn't moved any faster than he would have normally, but to Draco he may as well have sprinted.

Dumbstruck, Blaise asked, "What the hell was that?"

Hermione stared at the entrance to the kitchen for a moment before regarding him fiercely. "I don't know what thought you just had," she said quietly, her voice hard, "And I don't think I want to. But _Theo_ knows what it was and it must not have been very pleasant. He reads everything, Blaise… It's not like him to leave an argument before he's 'won' it, but something he got off you made him all but run out of here." She took a deep breath and summoned more patience. "I know he's frustrating," she said softly, "And unreasonable at times, but if you do _anything_ while we're gone: Let. This. Go. I'll try to undo," Her eyes darted towards the kitchen briefly again, "…Whatever the fuck just happened while we're at his Dad's. One of us will text you when we're off the road."

Blaise was still standing in front of the couch, confused and clearly hurt, when they heard Theodore's car start up. Draco didn't say a word the telltale sound of the garage door opening and closing echoed from the kitchen, and they stayed quiet long after the sound of the engine faded away.

"He didn't say goodbye," Blaise muttered quietly. "Why did he leave like that?"

"I don't know," Draco whispered. "But I don't like it." He stood and gently squeezed one of Blaise's hands. "Help me put away the groceries?"

"Yeah," Blaise said quietly. "Of course."

Draco managed to comfort Blaise enough throughout the day that they were both able to relax a little after the morning's blowout with Theodore. He'd even gotten Blaise to go soak in the tub with only a few vanilla scented candles for light to relax. His phone buzzed as he was exiting the bathroom with fresh teeth and making his way to their bed. It was Theo.

 ** _Safe and sound._**

 ** _Good_** , Draco typed as he laid down. **_Are you okay?_**

 ** _Should I not be?_**

He frowned. **_I won't press. I'm just worried._**

 ** _I'm fine, Dray. Tired as shite but fine._**

Draco chewed the inside of his cheek. **_Okay. Get some rest. Love you both._**

 ** _Implied._**

Almost immediately after Draco rolled his eyes at Theo's last message he got one from Hermione.

 ** _He was supposed to say "We love you too" but he's in a mood so I'm saying it. Tell Blaise too, please?_**

 ** _I will._** He promised. **_Check in at some point tomorrow, okay?_**

 ** _If you don't hear from me by dinner text me. Love you 3_**

 ** _Love you._**

He sighed as he went back to Theo's messages. Hermione said he was in a mood, but Theo had, of course, said he was fine. If a lie by omission was still a lie, and a white lie was still a lie, then when did Theodore tell the truth?

 ** _You guys still doing alright?_**

 ** _Hey, Baby. We're fine. You two okay?_**

 ** _Yeah. Miss you though_** _._

 ** _Miss you too. We'll be home in a couple days, though._**

 ** _Good. The bed feels empty and I'm cold._**

 ** _Poor thing. I'll snuggle with you first thing when I'm back. Theo wants you to know that you're cold because you're too thin and have shite circulation._**

 ** _Next time he gets mad when I say you and Blaise love me more than he does, I'm showing him that message._**

" ** _If he worked out with me in the mornings he'd bulk up and be warmer. It's not my fault that he's lazy and I'm honest."_**

 ** _I rest my case._**

Draco called Hermione's cell the night before she and Theo were due home. Blaise was getting take out, so it was as good of a time as any to try and talk to her in privately, maybe even ask about what had happened before they left. He hadn't been expecting Theo to answer though.

" _Hey, Blondie. She's out already. Everything okay?_ "

"Hey," Draco answered quickly. "Yeah, we're fine. I was just gonna ask her what time you two would be home tomorrow. House is too quiet."

Theo snorted on the other side of the line. " _You're too used to having me around._ "

"Yeah well, I do miss you," Draco said quietly. "Blaise does too..."

" _I highly doubt that."_ Theo said derisively. _"We won't be home tomorrow though._ "

"What?" Draco said a bit too quickly. "But – Why?"

" _Dad needs me to help him with something late in the day. We're gonna head home Tuesday morning instead._ "

Draco felt himself pouting and was thankful Theodore couldn't see him. "Shit. Well. I suppose it's only two more days…"

" _There you go, cute stuff. Optimism._ "

Theo managed to trick a soft nose-laugh out of him, though Draco was unsure how he even managed to hear the quiet exhale, but he did.

" _Fuck, it isn't even that late and I'm about to pass out._ "

"Why are you two so tired?" Draco asked, thinking about Hermione who Theo had said was already asleep for the night.

" _Been getting up really early and going to bed late as hell since we got here._ "

Draco caught himself from asking why again. "I'm sorry."

" _Not your fault, Dray. I'm gonna crash though. Go eat dinner or whatever, assuming you haven't._ "

"Blaise should be home with take away any minute," he muttered.

" _Get Thai without us? Traitor._ "

"Never." Draco smiled at the bedroom ceiling. "Blaise wanted to try that new Chinese place you immediately decided was shit hole."

" _Ugh. Gross. Trust both of you to take a gamble with food poisoning when there's no one to nurse you back to health._ "

"We'll be fine, _Dad_."

" _You can call me Daddy if you want to._ "

"Goonight, Theodore."

Theo chuckled quietly. " _Night, Blondie. See you Tuesday._ "

"I love you," Draco murmured.

" _I love me too._ "

Draco rolled his eyes, said goodnight once more, and hung up the phone moments before he heard Blaise's key in the door.

His somewhat brightened spirits plummeted instantly. He's have to tell Blaise that Theo and Hermione wouldn't be home tomorrow. And with only a vague explanation as to why…

 _Fuck_.

Despite Draco's best efforts, no amount of sex could heal the emotional bruising Blaise was still suffering from in light of the still unresolved argument with Theodore. Finding out that Theo and Hermione would be gone a few more days had only seemed to twist the knife further, and while he wasn't angry anymore, he _was_ a mess of nervous energy when Tuesday afternoon finally rolled around. Draco had checked with their missing partners twice to make sure they _were_ coming home today, and that some arbitrary reason or another wasn't going to keep them away any longer than they already had been. Such was not the case and, thankfully, they'd be home within the hour.

Draco was losing his mind and, above all, wondering how he and Blaise hadn't gone mad prior to Hermione and Theo entering their lives. Yes, Theodore could be completely exhausting and Draco had no idea how Hermione had built up the tolerance she had for him, but they were a family now. Having one member missing would have been unpleasant, but half the group? And with bad blood split before they left?

Such conditions lead Draco to making tea and seating himself at the island in the kitchen with anxious impatience. Eventually Blaise joined him and together they sat in silence with half drunken cups of Earl Grey and waited for the familiar purr of Theo's Audi.

They managed to keep their unrest to themselves, albeit barely, when that purr finally came and was soon followed by the garage door opening and closing. After what was surely only a few moments, but what felt like ages, the door Draco had unlocked hours prior in anticipation for their arrival finally swung open.

Draco threw them both a hesitant smile, noticing how tired they seemed instantly.

"Welcome home," Blaise said gently. "How was the dri-"

" _Fuck you_."

Theo didn't seem at all bothered by the three equally shocked expressions he was on the receiving end of.

"Theo…?" Blaise questioned, clearly at a loss for how to handle the sudden hostility.

Draco's heart ached for him. Couldn't Theo, he who saw all, see how miserable they'd both been without him and Hermione around? He wasn't the type to hold grudges over little things.

"Theo," Hermione said, her voice quiet but firm. "What the fuck is this? The argument's over. We're home. Why-"

Theo, who had apparently grown bored of glaring daggers at Blaise, stalked out of the room without acknowledging Hermione at all.

The remaining three stared after him in silence until Blaise swallowed thickly and turned to Hermione.

"What did I do?" He asked softly. Draco tried not to react to the way his voice broke.

"I don't know," she admitted, her expression one of deep concern and pain. "He hasn't…I _should_ know…He tells me everything. I don't…"

Draco glanced between them helplessly and mentally willed them not to cry. If they cried he would cry and that wouldn't make anything better.

"Just…try to pretend he's not here for a few days," Hermione suggested eventually. "Ignore him unless he seems to be…not how he is now. I'll…try to do something. I just wish I knew where to start."

Blaise opened his mouth, closed it, and repeated the process once more before finally settling on silence. Draco tried, in vain, to suppress his own tears as Blaise blinked very quickly several times before leaving the room, seeking refuge in the opposite side of the house. The side without Theodore.

"How do we fix this?" He whispered helplessly.

Her eyes were glistening as she stared back at him and shrugged miserably.

"By not letting it get any worse?"

Theodore could be very subtle when he wanted to be and by the same token, very _not_ subtle when he wanted to be.

When he was unhappy with you, subtly was not his highest priority, Draco learned. Blaise learned as well.

Their bed was by no means small, with the usual layout being Theo on the left most side, then Hermione, Draco, and finally Blaise to the far right. Typically, they ended up huddled to some extent by the end of the night or in mismatched places depending on who had been doing what where and with whom before they'd fallen asleep. Lately, however, it felt several sizes too small.

Theodore was, quite obviously, sleeping as far to his side as he could comfortably, and since Hermione was the person Theo was closest to — both emotionally and geographically — he did his damndest to keep her to himself without being noticeably territorial.

Blaise got the message.

Draco wished he hadn't.

The way he saw it, they'd gone back to square one and then some, probably landing on square negative twenty or so. They were divided into the original couples that made up their composition - Theodore and Hermione. Draco and Blaise – only no one was happy like they had been in those past lives. From bitter, spiteful Theodore to miserable, disregarded Blaise, they were all unhappy. Broken. It was as if a completed jigsaw puzzle had been shoved off the surface where the picture had come to life, shattering into dozens of misshapen pieces as it hit the floor.

This isn't my family, he thought to himself. This isn't _us_.

But it was, at least until someone picked the pieces off the floor and started rebuilding the picture. Assuming Theodore didn't keep knocking them down again.

Draco hadn't seen Theodore and Blaise in the same room — awake, that is — for any significant amount of time in over a week. As far as he knew, Theodore was hardly speaking to anyone and that seemed to include Hermione as well. Her attempts at getting him to open up about the issue had proved unsuccessful so far.

Theodore was angry and apparently he wanted to stay that way.

Which would be fine, Draco mused bitterly as he stared at the tear stained pillowcase in his hands, if Blaise wasn't suffering for it.

Draco threw the piece of fabric into the washer with the rest of their sheets and decided he should probably stay in the laundry room until he calmed down. It wouldn't help anyone if he ended up in a fight with Theodore too. That and there were towels to fold.

Blaise was hiding in the farthest corner of the library when Draco found him. It wasn't the first time he'd found the other man hiding in some secluded part of the house nor, he suspected, would it be the last if things continued how they had been.

At least this time the tears were already over. Draco knew how to snuggle, but he had absolutely no idea what to do about tears.

"It's been a month," Blaise said quietly, his voice still thick from crying, "And it's like they never came home at all. It would have been better if they'd been gone this long but everything had been okay when they got back."

Draco squeezed his hand and leaned against him a little heavier. "She swears he feels just as bad as you do," he murmured. "He's always got one of his masks on when I see him, but if anything that makes me believe her more."

"At least you see him," Blaise whispered. "At least you still exist."

"It'll get better," Draco said lamely. "It has to."

They sat on the floor staring through the glass panes that made up the library's exterior wall for quite some time. It was the type of day they usually spent tangled together on the fur rug in the den with only the fireplace and each other for warmth, _not_ split into two camos on opposite ends of the house feeling miserable and confused.

"What did I do?" Blaise asked. "I've replayed the end of that argument in my head a thousand times, Dray. The only thought I had was that I wanted things to be peaceful and easy again. How could that have set him off?"

"I understand him half as well as you and Hermione do," Draco reminded him gently.

"Is she mad at me too?" Blaise continued. "Does she know why he's acting like this?"

"He won't talk about it," Draco answered, relaying what Hermione had told him the last time they'd gotten a moment to themselves. "She said he keeps telling her that she'll be happier not knowing and that he'd really rather not think about it himself."

"I wish he'd just _tell me_. Even if that meant another fight, I don't care, I just want this to be done with. I want it to go _away,_ " Blaise groaned. " _I miss him_."

"I do too," Draco said quietly. "I do too..."

Blaise woke up in the middle of the night again. He was used to it by now, but there was little he wouldn't do for a full night's rest. Being awake was hard enough, couldn't he at least get a break in his sleep?

After carefully detangled himself from Draco — sweet, gentle Draco — he quietly left the bedroom to seek refuge in the kitchen.

He should have made sure no one else was out of bed first.

Theodore was sitting at the island with a tea cup and a bottle of wine. The emotionless stare Blaise received as he stood frozen over the threshold was unnerving. He'd hardly seen Theodore for weeks and Theo hadn't acknowledged him even if they happened to cross paths moving throughout the house. His steady, purposeful eye contact was unsettling after weeks of nothing.

Theo looked away first, returning his gaze to some arbitrary spot in front of him. "Bottle's almost empty," he muttered. "You'll have to get your own."

Blaise mumbled some unintelligible sentiment of acknowledgement as he decided to busy himself making tea. It gave him an excuse to have his back to Theo, which had been his goal until he felt Theo's gaze burning into his back.

Neither said a word and Blaise wracked his brain for a way to say something that wouldn't inadvertently reignite Theo's anger while he heated up water for tea.

"You're making your blood pressure rise," Theo said hollowly behind him. "Spit it out already."

Blaise frowned and, without turning around, asked, "What makes you think my blood pressure is high?"

"Look at your wrists," Theo answered, his voice still devoid of any telling emotions. "Your hands. The veins weren't standing out like that when you were leaning on the door frame a minute ago. Not to mention you're breathing faster and your hands are trembling a touch."

Blaise couldn't think of a response to that, so he busied himself with the tea leaves and strainer instead.

"You have something to say and not saying it is causing you obvious physical stress. Spit it out," Theo sighed, pouring more wine into his tea cup by the sound of it. " _Speak now_ and all that rot."

Blaise stirred sugar into his tea very thoroughly before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "I don't know what you read off me but I'm _sorry_." He turned around, hating himself for feeling like a coward, but hoping that Theo would at least be able to read his sincerity. "What can I do? Please, Theo, if nothing else tell me how to fix this."

They stared at each other in the dark until Blaise saw Theo's features slowly morph into a horrified sort of miserable.

"You don't know," he whispered. The faint night light from the fridge reflected off the wetness in his eyes. "Oh _god_ , you don't know…"

"Tell me," Blaise murmured. "Baby, tell me and I'll fix it."

Theo set down his teacup and buried his face in his hands. "You can't," he choked, "You _can't_. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!"

Blaise abandoned his tea and reached across the island to pull Theo's hands away from his face. "Talk to me," Blaise begged. "Theo, _please_ , I don't understand-"

Theo jerked backwards out of reach and just barely managed to prevent himself from falling off the bar stool entirely.

"I know," he agonized. "That's worse, it – it's unconscious and by the time is becomes conscious it will be too late to undo."

Blaise stared at Theo helplessly, watching him crumble and tug at his hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry," Theo whispered eventually. "God, Blaise, I'm so sorry, but I can't. You can't fix it and I just _can't."_

Blaise swallowed hard. "What are you saying?" He asked unsteadily. "Baby, please-"

"I'm sorry," Theo interrupted, and he watched at Blaise with painful longing for several tense seconds before he quickly fled the room.

Blaise wasn't sure where Theo went, but he stayed in the kitchen for the rest of the morning on the off chance that he would come back. That they could try to sort things out.

He didn't.

The bed was empty when Draco woke up, which made him wonder how late he'd slept. He reached out to check the rest of the mattress, finding it cold, and decided he must have slept in quite a bit.

Still, something felt…off.

He decided that his disquieting feelings must be a result of throwing off his internal clock and shuffled out of bed. Once his morning rituals were complete, he stopped and squinted at the sink, and quickly realized what was wrong. Panic rising, he fled to the other room and started ripping open drawers, suspicions being confirmed further. Empty, empty, empty.

Blaise was already at the base of the steps by the time Draco had sprinted down them. He looked like the poster child for insomnia and depression, sans tears, but his eyes were a telling shade of red.

"They're not gone," He said in a dull voice. "They're in Hermione's old room."

Draco tugged at some of his hair agitatedly. "But _why_?! Fuck, Blaise, their _clothes_ are gone. Toothbrushes, fine, but they took _everything_."

Blaise shrugged weakly "I talked to Theo last night," He said with a shaky sigh. "He knows that I didn't do... _whatever_ I did intentionally, but that's worse somehow? He wouldn't explain, he just got really upset and ran off."

"Where's Hermione?" Draco asked. "Is she on the other side of the house with him?"

Blaise nodded. "I talked to her too. She's why I knew they weren't gone. Theo had already gone to the other wing, but she stayed with me in the library a while. I guess Theo was asleep or something. She doesn't know what's going on any better than we do, but she's still willing to have sex with me, so I assume she isn't mad." He sniffed. "Helped a bit, I suppose. Never realized how soft she was, to be honest. Minimal contact makes you notice the little things, I guess."

Draco let out a frustrated growl. "This is so _stupid_!" He hissed. "I'm _done_ with all of this! I get it – Theo does that Jedi mind trick shit, _fine_. But it's _not_ fine when he decides to be upset about something and refuses communicate about it!"

Blaise surprised blink at Draco's outburst caused the blond to sigh heavily.

"I'm not just going to sit here and watch _my family_ rip itself to shreds," he protested. "Just...stay here or something. I'm going to talk to them."

"Please don't yell at him," Blaise pleaded quietly as Draco walked away. "He had to have been moving their stuff behind our backs for a few days. If they could move across the house without waking you or tipping me off...I mean, I was awake...I was down here..."

 _Then they could leave_ , Draco sighed, finishing the thought in the safety of his own mind. He wondered if Hermione would follow Theo without a concrete answer for _why_ they were leaving should Theo decide he wanted to go.

Convincing himself that she wouldn't was harder than it should have been.

Hermione's old bedroom was on the opposite side of the house, as far away from the master suite as the layout allowed, which had been great for everyone's privacy when Hermione had just been Draco and Blaise's roommate. When they're first started exploring the boundaries of their budding relationship, the distance had been a not-so-small irritant that eventually led to Draco insisting she just sleep in their room. Now it felt like the hallways stretched on endlessly in front of him, as if they'd gotten longer over the years.

When he finally rounded a familiar bend, he could hear voices and see that the door to Hermione's old room was cracked.

"I don't know, 'Mione," Theo's voice echoed weakly. "Everything is broken."

Draco stopped a safe distance from the door and decided, given the circumstances, that a little eavesdropping before announcing his presence wouldn't be amiss.

Hermione's sighed carried into the hall. "Theo, we love them. We can't just leave without even trying to fix things, that isn't fair. You know it isn't. You know he wants to fix things."

"He can't," Theo whispered. "It's subliminal. It just hasn't come to conception yet."

"English," Hermione prodded gently.

"He isn't aware of it," Theo amended. "It's a budding thought, not quite an _idea_ but it's in his head. It's only a matter of time before it takes root."

"What thought, Theodore," Hermione pressed. "You told me before that I'd be better off, be _happier_ , no knowing, but Theo I'm not happy _now_. None of us are, at that's on a fraction of the problem." There was a pause and Draco assumed she was trying to gather her wits. "Theo we've had sex twice since this started. _Twice_. _Us_ , Theodore. I swear Blaise thought he'd never get to touch me again this morning and _Draco_ , Theo. What about Draco? He's twice as neutral in all this as I am and he's just as miserable as the rest of us." She sighed again, groaning softly. "I'll give you a few days to sort your thoughts and a little more time after that to tell me what this is all about so we can fix it, but I'm not leaving them without trying to fix things Theo."

Theo made a bitter sound. "Ultimatums aren't your usual style, Precious."

"I didn't give you one," she parried.

"You implied it and you know it. Either I tell you why I can't be around Blaise or I leave by myself. I got the message. Let me have my peaceful introversion time to mull it over. I'll either tell you what's wrong or…we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

They were quiet for several moments, long enough for Draco to consider moving forward and playing dumb, when Hermione quietly spoke up again.

"Theo..."

"Don't cry, Baby girl, please don't cry. You know I wouldn't be leaving you. I'll never leave you."

"But you would be," she argued, her voice beginning to crack. "You'll leave all of us over something you won't even let anyone try to mend."

"Hermione if I'm right we'll both leave this house in pieces," Theo murmured. "Everyone will be broken in the end and I swear to God if it's enough to take your voice away again-"

"We're already in pieces, Theo."

Draco slowly started making his way back down the hall, deciding they probably wouldn't be very open with him while their emotions were so raw. He'd try to catch them later, but he needed to talk to Blaise first.

"I know," was the last thing he heard Theo say. "I was the first to break."

Unfortunately, Blaise was asleep when Draco got back to the master bedroom, so he took off towards the library. Maybe Theo hadn't packed up his psychology books from Uni yet…

 _~~~End of Part IV~~~_

 _Hi..._


	5. Picking Up Pieces

**Part V**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU Crack Fic || One-shot || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.] [I am looking for a beta though.]_

They might as well have been living with two ghosts for how often Draco saw Theodore and Hermione over the next week and a half. He wasn't sure how they functioned without coming into the main living area _at all_ throughout the day and the odds of both him and Blaise _just missing_ the pair for such a significant span of time were preposterous. Draco voice these concerns to Blaise late one night while laid in bed, neither ready to sleep, but too emotionally strained to do anything but have a cuddle.

"Hermione doesn't exactly make a lot of noise, excluding sex of course" Blaise mused with a shrug. "Theodore analyzes everything. They're probably just working around our patterns."

Draco sighed. "Well, they're still here as far as I know. Hermione told him she wouldn't leave without either trying to fix things or having a very good reason," he muttered. "Here's hoping 'he made a mean micro expression at me' doesn't have validity in the court of Granger."

Blaise snorted softly. "What'd you do, rifle through some of Theo's textbooks?"

Draco nodded against Blaise's chest. "I can't out-psych him, but I thought it may shed some light on things."

"Yeah?" Blaise asked. "Find anything?"

"No," Draco muttered, closing his burning eyes. "Nothing substantial."

Blaise sometimes took to wandering the halls on the nights where he couldn't sleep. Such nights had increased after his discussion with Theo in the kitchen. He stayed on the first floor unless he was on his and Draco's side of the house, as Hermione's old room was on the second. Avoiding the halls that would lead him to Hermione and Theo was an easy enough task, especially considering the fact that he had no idea what he would say to either of them.

Of course, it was when he wasn't looking that he ended up seeing them for the first time in days.

It was so dark on the back patio that he wouldn't have noticed them at all if Hermione hadn't fidgeted. The moon was being blocked by a lazily floating cloud, blanketing the pair in such thick shadows that even though Blaise's eyes had adjusted to the dark, he still had trouble seeing them properly.

But he could see that they were both upset.

"It's not the same," Hermione insisted, her voice tight. "Nothing about this is the same, Theo, we can't just assume..."

"I'm not assuming anything," Theo said tiredly. Every ounce of his posture radiated bone-deep fatigue. "We didn't know what the warning signs were before. Now we do. Same song, different dancehall."

"It's _Blaise_ ," she all but whined. " _Blaise_ , Theo. He loves us. He got frustrated, he's human, that doesn't mean history is repeating itself."

Theo ran a hand through his hair and shifted from his seat on one of the stone benches. "I wouldn't be losing my mind over this if it didn't look the same, 'Mione," he muttered. "I don't want it to be real. I don't want it to happen again. I don't want to live through _that_ twice and I sure as fuck never wanted it to happen with these two," he said shakily. "But last time it broke us both. You couldn't consistently keep your voice for months and then you _left_." Blaise winced when Theo's voice cracked. "You left, Hermione, and I let you because you needed it but you still _left_."

Hermione swallowed hard and chewed her lip as the cloud over the moon finally started to crawl away. The light fell at such an angle that the hallway remained dark regardless of the large solid pane windows, keeping Blaise hidden while illuminating the patio.

Hermione was leaning up against the waterfall wall, which they only turned on if they were going to spend the evening outside since Draco considered the aesthetic feature it a waste of water if no one was present to enjoy it. She was in a slightly faded green jersey t-shirt with ' _Slytherin_ ' emblazoned across her breasts and matching green boyshorts. Blaise didn't know what Slytherin meant, but he assumed it was a collegiate reference of some sort. Once he saw that Theo was only wearing a pair of light grey sweats with the word written down the side of one leg, did Blaise decide his assumption was correct. He'd never seen them wear any apparel from their years at Uni before.

It didn't help that they were both on the verge of tears, making Blaise wonder if they'd kept these old clothes packed away because they were sources of comfort. Security blankets you only pulled out during the really bad storms...

"I never meant to stay gone so long," Hermione said quietly. "I didn't even have my bearings when I met Blaise...I hadn't been able to talk for weeks but he asked me if I was okay, if I needed a ride somewhere and I-I answered him—" She stopped suddenly, cutting herself off to swipe furiously at her eyes. "This can't be happening again. Theo, Blaise is _nothing_ like Reggie. It's not the same!"

Theodore stood without speaking and crossed the patio to tug Hermione away from the slate wall. Blaise watched her crumble against him and Theo held her as if his arms could keep her in once piece.

"We'll be okay," Theodore promised, his voice wavering. "We'll take care of each other and it will all be okay, you'll see. Please don't cry, Precious, please..."

Blaise swallowed hard and carefully snuck back to the other side of the house. He didn't know who Reggie was or what he'd done to damage Theo and Hermione so horribly, but he couldn't let them leave without finding out. He would wait a few more hours, keep the bedroom door cracked so he would hear if they tried to slip away in the night, and when it was closer to daylight he would wake Draco.

They needed to make a plan. Preferably before they lost everything.

Theodore was sitting on the couch in the living room when Blaise came downstairs two mornings later, startling him so thoroughly he almost spilled coffee on himself.

"Um, Hey," he stumbled, trying to come up with something more substantial to say to the man he hadn't spoken to in weeks. "H-How are you...?"

He could see some of the telltale signs of poor sleep in Theo's features, details he'd missed a few nights prior due to the darkness, and felt himself frown in response to Theo's tired stare.

"Shite, love," Theo answered quietly. "You?"

"Shite," Blaise admitted, as Draco stepped out of the kitchen and took notice of the scene in the living room.

"Where's Hermione?" He asked.

Theo rubbed his face wearily. "Sleeping, I hope," He answered. "Been having trouble with that lately."

"Guess we'll need t-shirts for that club too," said Draco. He waved a hand between them all. "What's this then?"

"The fourth worst day of my life," Theo muttered. "And I don't mean that in a ranking sense. There are three equally horrible days in history for me. This will be four."

Blaise tried to breathe normally. "It doesn't have to be..."

Theo gave him a tired glance. "Yeah it does," he said quietly. "It does."

"No," Draco said firmly as he caught on. "No, no, no, _Theo-_ "

"We _have_ too," Theo told them tearfully. "It's no one's fault," he continued in a shaky rush. "Mine, if you need someone to blame, but no one else's."

Blaise set his coffee on the entertainment center and made to move forward, but Theo held up a hand and gave him a pleading look.

"Please don't make this harder than it already is," He begged weakly. "I hate this just as much as you do, but we _have to go_."

"You don't," Draco argued, his grip tightening around his coffee cup. "Stay and help us fix this."

Theo shook his head. "We can't fix it."

"Let us _try_."

Blaise struggled to keep his breathing even and stared at a wall. If he looked at Theo he'd break and he couldn't do that yet. They needed to fix everything then — and only then — could he fall apart.

"Our old flat's being refurbished and won't be finished and cleaned until tomorrow night," Theo continued, ignoring Draco's plea. "I took a lot to storage yesterday, and we can the rest with. We're leaving Saturday morning."

"It's Thursday," Blaise whispered, his voice cracking painfully. "That's _two days_."

"I know," Theo whispered. "I'm sorry."

Draco quickly left the room. A moment later Blaise and Theo flinched as they heard his coffee cup shatter in the sink.

Blaise pressed the heels of his hands into his burning eyes. Two days. _Two_. Then they'd be gone.

Permanently.

"You can't go," Blaise choked. "Theo you _can't_. We _need_ you, both of you. We _love_ you."

Theo wasn't even trying to wipe away tears running down his face when Blaise pulled his hands away from his eyes to look at him. "Sometimes that isn't enough," he said lowly, swallowing an obviously painful lump in his throat. "Especially when there's emotional baggage involved and trust me, Sweetheart, Hermione and I have _plenty_ of that to spare."

Draco entered the room again with shaking fists and red eyes. "What're you on about now?" He asked through gritted teeth.

Theo swallowed again. "Thoughts are like seeds, in my experience," he said quietly. "Some of those seeds are actually full of baby plant bits that grow and take root. Occasionally they wither away, but they don't cause any damage or leave permanent traces of themselves." He sniffed and quickly wiped at his cheeks with his sleeves. "Other seeds are full of gunpowder," he continued. "They just sit around waiting for a spark. Sometimes the same emotion or concept can make a different seed, it just depends...Usually if it's plant-like, then you're aware of it. You're thinking about it, forming roots in your mind to hold it down. The other ones only need that little spark to completely take over and, even if the fire only lasts a little while, there will still be scars left over. And scars can hurt."

He turned his empty eyes to Blaise. "I know I'm difficult," he said thickly, while his lips fought to twitch into a frown, "I'm an arse and shite at letting people in, and I'm _sorry_ for that, but that's who I am."

"I know," said Blaise, confused. "I love you anyway."

"You do," Theo agreed, tears spilling over again. "But you associate peace and happiness with a part of your life that I wasn't in. That Hermione wasn't in." He drew in another shaky breath. "That's a seed. If every time you get frustrated with me or Hermione your brain clicks over to wanting things to go back to how they were when it was just you and Draco...That's _resentment_ , Blaise. That's the fastest way to stop loving a person and we've been on the receiving end of one of those seeds taking root."

Blaise swallowed and shared a brief glance with Draco. "Reggie, right?" He asked, to Theo's immediate and obvious horror. "I was up walking around when you and Hermione were on the patio the other night," Blaise explained quickly.

"Y-yeah," Theo managed. "I wasn't as good at reading all the little cues back then, but I'd have to be blind not to see them now. He was showing little signs of budding resentment for months before it latched on. I can't imagine how bad it would have been if all he'd needed was a spark. He's the reason 'Mione went off on her own."

"And ended up meeting us," Draco finished quietly. "Which ended up putting both of you back into a polyamorous relationship."

"Ten points to Hufflepuff," Theo muttered.

Draco and Blaise stared at him.

"Sorry, Uni joke," he said with another sniff. "We didn't have sororities and fraternities at Hogwarts, we had co-ed houses. You got sorted based on two separate personality assessments. Both took over an hour. Massive pain in the arse."

"Was your house called Slytherin?" Blaise asked.

Theo nodded. "'Mione made Slytherin too. So did Reg."

Blaise sighed slowly, feeling heavier than he ever had. "Theo I don't think I could hate you if I tired," he said. "Can't we go to therapy or something? Give ourselves some better conflict resolution tactics?"

Theo shook his head slowly. "I switched to my major to Psych because of therapists, Blaise," he told them quietly. "Hermione saw several after her parents died and all they wanted to focus on was the fact that our relationship is a little closer than the books deem healthy. Psychology doesn't believe in soul mates, but if there is such a thing as two— or more — people sharing a soul, then she definitely has a piece of mine," he said. "I'm not even as close to my Dad as I am to her. She's everything and she always has been. No matter who we paid to talk to her they would end up obsessing over that instead of trying to help her get her voice back."

"Full-time boyfriend, part-time therapist," Draco muttered.

Theo shrugged. "I'm whatever she needs me to be. Knight in shining armor. Charming beau-"

"Obnoxious ex-boyfriend extraordinaire," Blaise added, thinking back to the night they'd all met and the Greengrass Sisters incident.

Theo almost smiled. "Sometimes. Dunno what I am right now — This is a new role, whatever it is. A sentry, I suppose?" He mused, standing somewhat unsteadily. "I don't particularly like it, to be honest."

"I'm not Reggie," Blaise murmured painfully. "Please don't leave."

"We barely got through the aftermath of Reggie, Blaise," Theo admitted softly. "I can't risk putting her through anything like that again. If I had seen the signs sooner we would have left him too." A broken sound left Blaise as Theo made his way around the couch and started heading down the far hall. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

He didn't look back.

Draco squeezed Blaise's hand and waited for Theo to get out of earshot before he said, "I think I know who Reggie is – was."

"Was?" Blaise barely managed to say, still trying to keep himself together.

"My mother's cousin had a son named Regulus. He went to Hogwarts University, I think. I didn't know him. Saw him maybe once or twice at family gatherings over the years," Draco explained.

"How'd he die?" Blaise asked carefully.

"I don't remember, but it was something tragic. Dramatic."

"What are we going to do, Dray?" Blaise asked miserably.

Draco stared down the hall where their — ex? — boyfriend had disappeared. "We need to talk to Hermione," He answered with quiet conviction. " _Without_ Theodore."

They felt ridiculous sneaking around their own house at odd hours, trying to stay out of the main hallways and simultaneously keep an eye out in case Theodore left the far side of the house for some reason.

Given how meticulous Theo got when he wanted something done, the odds of him having forgotten something he and Hermione would need for their trip were slim. Then again, so were their odds of getting to talk to Hermione alone with Theodore in the house.

Draco thanked a dozen deities when he caught sight of Theodore slipping into the garage late Friday evening, seemingly alone. He held his breath at the base of the stairs until he heard Theo's car start and leave the driveway. Now was their chance.

He sprinted back upstairs to tell Blaise, who followed him with haste back through the house.

"You knock," Blaise whispered as they neared Hermione's door. "If she's as upset as she looked the other night, I doubt she'll open the door if she knows I'm here."

Draco frowned but, begrudgingly, agreed given the circumstances, and after finding the door locked, tapped his knuckles against the wood.

"Hermione?" He called, "Baby?"

There was quiet shuffling on the other side of the door for a moment. Draco could sense that she was near it, if not standing right next to the wood, but she didn't speak.

"Theo said you're leaving tomorrow," Draco continued. "I-I wanted to see you…Are you alright?"

Blaise gave Draco a worried look when again she did not respond. Then Draco's phone pinged, the sound loud in the quiet hallway. Confused, he fished his phone from his back pocket and held it so Blaise could read her text too.

 _ **Not really. I miss you...**_

Before he could hit reply, another message came through.

 _ **And Blaise.**_

"We miss you too," Draco said aloud, his confusion clear. "Baby, are you sick? Why aren't you talking?"

Blaise's eyes flashed up in horror as hit Draco like a bucket of ice water.

 _ **I can't.**_

Blaise silently moved to the opposite wall and braced himself against it as Draco tried to remember how to breathe.

"Honey," he begged, though it came out as more of a pained moan. "Please open the door…"

The handle jiggled a bit as she unlocked it and Draco moved forward as the door pulled back. He didn't think she'd slam it in their face, Blaise's specifically, but if she panicked he wanted to catch the door.

She noticed him almost instantly, of course, but her eyes widened with tears instead of panic.

"Hi, Beautiful," Blaise murmured thickly. "I miss you too."

Her lips quivered as she looked between them both miserably. With a soft sniff, she tugged her phone out of the pocket of her hoodie. She passed it to Draco instead of hitting send.

 _ **We don't want to leave! I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.**_

"Come here," Draco said shakily. "Baby, come here."

She listened, stepping over the threshold and all but throwing herself into Draco's waiting arms. A pained noise escaped her, but it cut off abruptly as if her throat had closed. He held onto her as tightly as he could without hurting her.

"Blaise heard you and Theo a bit on the patio," Draco told her. "Theo didn't tell us much about Reggie, but Hermione, I need to ask you something…"

She sniffed again and, her expression pained, glanced up at him through wet lashes.

Draco breathed in slowly. "Was Reggie's full name Regulus?" He asked gently. "Regulus Black?"

Her eyes welled up again as she nodded jerkily.

"Oh, Baby," Draco whispered, cupping her cheeks so he could make futile passes under her eyes with his thumbs. "I don't know much but…He was my mother's cousin. I know…he's not…"

"He's dead."

All three of them jumped, turning around to find Theo standing a few feet down the hall with a case of wine coolers in one hand. He looked like someone too tired to be annoyed, but it was clear to all present that he wasn't happy about the situation he'd walked in on.

"He died shortly before we graduated," Theo continued as he came closer, his voice heavy with fatigue. "It's too long of a story for two-fifteen in the morning."

"No one's kicking you out," Blaise reminded him. "Stay... Come to bed — _our_ bed — and you can tell us in the morning."

Theo set the pack of drinks inside the door of Hermione's old room and leaned against the door frame wearily. He didn't say anything.

Hermione detached herself from Draco after kissing his cheek and shuffled over to Blaise for an equally snug embrace. She held onto him for a while longer, as if she could mold them back together by doing so. When she reluctantly separated from Blaise, she turned towards Theo, mirroring his defeated expression and tired eyes.

Draco and Blaise watched on in silence, equally amazed and confused by how the two could have an entire conversation with only Theodore speaking aloud.

She half hugged herself, idly rubbing one bicep while holding eye contact with him. If they hadn't been watching so closely, Draco and Blaise would have missed Theo's little glances to certain areas of her face and the way his eyes swept over her posture. He was subtle, that much was certain, and unless you knew he read people, you'd never had guessed he was doing anything other than sharing her gaze.

"I know," He said softly. "None of us want it, Precious, but that doesn't mean _we_ don't need it."

Aside from the way her brows drew together slightly, Hermione didn't move, but Theo sighed.

"'Mione," he started, but she shook her head and searchingly reached into a pocket. When she came up empty, she realized Draco still had her phone. He gently tossed it to her, and after she caught it, Theo mumbled, "Ten points to Slytherin," earning himself a slightly amused raise of her eyebrow.

She tapped the screen a few times, squinting against the light until she found whatever she was after and passed her phone to Theodore. His already weary expression intensified as he read, scrolling several times even though she couldn't have possibly typed such a long message that quickly.

When he was done he swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. "Is that a risk we're willing to take?" He asked her quietly. "It's not as simple as moving back to the other bedroom, 'Mione. They already know there's more to it than that. We...we'd have to tell them everything. _Everything_ , 'Mione," he stressed before his voice softened once more. "That's a lot to put on two people."

She gave him a pointed stare and slowly raised her eyebrow again. Theo let out a short, humorless laugh.

"Fair point well made, love," he allowed. "But your plan still relies on these two being willing to share all that baggage with us. That's heavy shite, Precious. Most people don't want to be weighed down by the dysfunction of others."

Without changing her expression, Hermione held up a hand and made a circular motion with one finger. Theo sighed again.

"We _aren't_ most people, fair, but we're all human, 'Mione. If Blaise is already subconsciously primed to resent us, why would this be any different?" He parried. "We thought Reggie would be our happily ever after and we were wrong. Who's to say we aren't wrong again?"

She held up her phone again, her features pleading, and Theodore closed his eyes for a moment, taking several measured breaths.

"And if we're wrong?" He asked when he opened his eyes again.

She fiddled with her phone for a moment before showing him the screen. He swallowed hard when he read her message and she stepped forward, reaching out to draw a small circle over his heart. He blinked several times as he took her hand and brought her fingers to his lips.

" _Ohana_ ," he murmured after kissing them and tugging her towards him. "You know having faith in things isn't my forte."

Draco and Blaise stood by anxiously as the two fell silent again, cocooned in an intense energy that was all their own. After a few moments of strained silence, Theo squeezed Hermione a little harder.

"I can do that," He murmured. "As long as you keep your promise, I can do that."

Blaise gave Draco a look that clearly asked 'What promise?', but all Draco could do was shrug. Theo and Hermione spoke their own language sometimes. They'd accepted that when Theo moved in and truly began to understand it after they found out about Hermione's parents. When Theo said they were a unit, a package deal, he hadn't been telling them anything they didn't already know.

It was still a bit weird watching them

"Come to bed, please," Draco murmured. "We're all exhausted, this past— month and a half? Two months? Fuck if I know anymore — have been exhausting and awful. Can we please just go have a cuddle and deal with everything else in the morning?"

Theo sighed quietly as Hermione pulled back and took his hand.

"Yeah," he muttered, his voice thick as he wiped a sleeve over his eyes. "I'm so fucking tired..."

"Bed," ordered Blaise. "Let's go."

If Theo hesitated a moment as Hermione tugged him by the hand and followed Draco and Blaise back through the house — back where they belonged — no one acknowledged it.

Morning presented them with a light grey overcast sky and steady drizzling, as if nature itself was pitying the household's many weeks of less than satisfactory sleep. When Draco peeked his eyes open to find the others varying degrees of awake around him, he took one look out the windows across from them and declared it kip day.

"Definitely Hufflepuff," Theo muttered. Hermione's snort was muffled by the pillow she'd burrowed into.

"What's that mean?" Asked Draco. "You two were Slytherin or something. What's the difference?"

"We," Theo answered with a yawn, "Are cunning, resourceful, extremely loyal but usually to small clusters of specific people, fluent commanders of sarcasm, and ambitious."

"And Hufflepuffs?" Came Blaise's half-awake inquiry.

"Loyal, hardworking, patient, and dedicated cinnamon rolls," said Theo.

Draco propped himself up in one arm to glare at Theo over Hermione's shoulder, receiving a shadow of the man's usual snarky grin in response.

"You are kinda a cinnamon roll, Draco," Blaise yawned.

"I am _not_ ," He protested adamantly. "People who are cinnamon rolls are squishy. I'm not squishy."

"My squishy," Hermione mumbled, surprising everyone but Theodore.

"You're talking again," Blaise said as he rolled over to face the rest of the group.

"Ten points to Ravenclaw," Theo muttered, pulling another snort from Hermione. "Certain stressors hit her mute button. Once they're lessened or taken away she might struggle with talking consistently for a bit, but for the most part she should be talking normally again in a few days..."

His unspoken _assuming we stay_ hovered above the mattress.

"I'm not squishy," Draco murmured petulantly, laying down with disgruntled forcefulness.

"Hufflepuff's mascot was a honey badger," Theo offered.

Draco mulled that over for a few moments. "Maybe a little squishy," he muttered.

"My squishy," Hermione repeated.

Draco frowned as he shuffled closer to her. "That's a reference to something, isn't it?" He asked as he tugged her away from Theo's side.

"Oi," Theo protested lazily. "Slytherin is represented by a snake, Squishy. Snakes huddle for warmth. Give me back _my_ squishy."

"Come get her," Draco mumbled as he nuzzled against her. "Mm... Soft."

"Told you," Blaise muttered.

Theo ended up scooting closer and pressing himself against Hermione's back, but not without an unnecessary amount of half-hearted protests.

"Are we okay?" Draco asked quietly. "All of us?"

Hermione squeezed him as Theo drew in a slow breath.

"I think we will be," he said gently. "Just...we all need to take it easy. Don't try to rush anything, just focus on healing and..."

"Each other," Blaise added softly.

"Yes," Theo agreed. "Each other."

Draco hummed in agreement and scooted down the bed a bit so he could press his face against Hermione's chest.

"I missed these," he told her contentedly.

She flicked his ear gently. "Bad, Squishy. Bad."

"Okay, seriously," he huffed, exasperated. "Can you actually not say more than a handful of words at once right now? How does this whole voice restoration thing work?"

Hermione's smirked down at him, but didn't say anything.

"Nope. She's just fucking with you, Squishy," said Theo, clearly amused. "Haven't you watched _Finding Nemo_?"

"No," Draco and Blaise answered together.

"Fucking plebes," Theo muttered.

Draco rolled his eyes and went back to nuzzling the valley between Hermione's breasts, poorly covered by a very thin grey camisole. " _You're_ squishy," He said as he tugged at one of the straps. "I missed your squishiness. A lot." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Does taking it easy mean no make-up sex?"

"Do you really think any of us possess the self-control to _not_ have make up sex regardless of how I answer that question?" Theo responded as he pulled up the hem of Hermione's flimsy shirt. "Blaise, you awake enough to get in on this?"

"Where's the party starting?" Blaise mumbled tiredly, cracking an eye open. "With literally squishy, I assume?"

"Well, it's been...a while," Theo answered just a touch bashfully. "And we probably shouldn't get too rowdy, if we can help it. We've all been on an emotional high. We already probably already have adrenal fatigue from the stress...don't want to make that any worse."

"Adrenal what?" Draco asked as he pushed Hermione's shirt higher and out of his way. "Fuck, you're a sight for sore eyes, Gorgeous..."

Theo sat up, pulling Hermione with him so she could fully discard her top.

"It's a state of hormone deficiency," she said quietly. "It's caused by persistently high levels of cortisol and adrenaline. Tires out your adrenals." She grinned when Draco gave her a look. "Oops. I mean - Squishy?"

"Brat," he muttered as Blaise chuckled tiredly behind him.

"Can I just watch?" Blaise murmured. "I'm still really sleepy.

"No, absolutely not," Theo deadpanned. "Of course, you dolt. I'm revoking my Ravenclaw statement."

"Why?"

"Smart kids," Theo explained before glancing down to give Draco an amused look and lifting Hermione a bit so he could get rid her of the rest of her clothing. "Clever. Analytical. Calculative."

"Sounds more like you two," Blaise pointed out.

"Too vindictive," Hermione murmured as Draco pulled her away from Theo to lay her back down on the bed.

"There's a lot of talking happening and not nearly enough make-up sex," Draco grumbled, glaring back and forth between the other two men in the bed. "Are Hermione and I the only ones who got the memo?"

Theo — and Blaise after he woke up a bit more — were happy to show Draco, quite thoroughly, that they _had_ gotten the memo. And if the tetrad just so happened to forget about the 'taking it easy' part, then it was lucky for them that Theo and Hermione knew what to do to heal their damaged endocrine systems.

 _~~~End of Part V~~~_

 _Just keep swimming..._


	6. Wiltshire

**Part VI**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 _[Thanks to ash-castle on Tumblr for looking this over for me.]_ [Any and all remaining errors are, naturally, faults of mine.]

Theo struggled with his emotions as he pulled into the garage for the last time. Tomorrow morning, he and Hermione would load what was left of their belongings into the backseat and head back to up to Wiltshire. He wouldn't — couldn't — think about that fact too hard because his eyes felt like sandpaper already and he was certain he'd have a sty by morning, if he didn't already.

He hated everything about the last several weeks. First his father - the healthiest man alive, _usually_ \- had gotten hit by the flu so hard that he'd needed to spend several days in the hospital. Thankfully, he was strong enough to fight it off fairly quickly, but those first few days ER had been terrifying. I hadn't helped that Theo's argument with Blaise had been on repeat in his head the entire time he and Hermione had been out of town.

Would it have been 'easier' to just tell Blaise why they were going out of town? Yes. Of course it would have been, but even though Theo loved both men, trusting them with private things was another matter in itself.

Theo knew why Blaise had gotten so upset to begin with, and unfortunately Blaise's assumptions combined with Theo's anxiousness had caused him to — admittedly — overreact. He'd been _offended_ that Blaise would even entertain the idea that Theo was trying to hide them from his father and was ashamed of their relationship in any way. Hell, his father already knew he and Hermione were in another polyamorous relationship. He'd known about Regulus as well, even addressed him as _son_ , for crying out loud. The only thing about introducing the boys to his father that made Theo nervous was the fact that Draco and Blaise were virtually ignorant of his and Hermione's social statuses and _that_ was a problem easily remedied. But it didn't change the fact that Blaise's immediate suspicion had rid Theo of the limited patience he'd been holding onto, sending them all spinning into the hellstorm they were in now.

Theo rubbed at his chest in a futile effort to dispense the hollow ache under his breast bone. When Hermione had initially told him how easy it was to love Draco and Blaise, he'd assumed it was a byproduct of her natural goodness, but the same was true for himself. Where Regulus had been — or rather seemed like — their knight in shining armor and just as too good to be true, Draco and Blaise were more like puzzle pieces. The lined up correctly, finished the picture, they made _sense_. Their connection to each other was similar to his connection to Hermione, which tended to work in their favor instead of causing unnecessary battles. The pairs complemented each other just as well as the relationships within the group did.

Which was why everything was so much harder this time, why losing them felt worse than losing Reggie. It was painful to the point where Theo had caved and gone out for alcohol to get himself and Hermione through their final night in the same house as their counterparts.

Would it have hurt this badly, he wondered, if he and Hermione had left Regulus before he'd had a chance to leave them?

 _No_ , his mind answered immediately. By the end of their last year at Hogwarts, in the months before his death, Regulus had slowly chipped away at any and all respect Theo had possessed for him. Hermione would have been devastated if they'd left, and Theo would have wounds to nurse, no doubt, but it wouldn't have felt like ripping off a limb. Two, in this case.

But he couldn't let Hermione go through that again. Theo's own feelings, his own heartache, wasn't his first priority. Keeping Hermione from physical and emotional harm, on the other hand, was, always had been, and always would be. Which was why, as he neared Hermione's old suite and recognized voices, anger slowly burned through him.

How very _clever_ of them, realizing that their best attempt at a last ditch effort would be to talk to Hermione in private. Probably Draco's idea, surely. Blaise was at his breaking point and as

"Blaise heard you and Theo a bit on the patio," Draco's voice echoed as Theo rounded the corner silently, going unnoticed since Blaise was too busy watching Draco and 'Mione. "Theo didn't tell us much about Reggie, but Hermione, I need to ask you something…"

Theo's grip on the case of coolers tightened, but he said nothing. If he was patient for a while longer, he'd might learn something.

He heard Hermione sniff, probably not for the first time, and she must have encouraged Draco in some way, though he couldn't see her properly from his currently vantage point.

Draco drew in a breath wearily, steadying himself no doubt, before gently asking, "Was Reggie's full name Regulus?" He asked gently. "Regulus Black?"

Theo rolled his eyes, annoyance coursing through him. Draco's mother _was_ a Black, wasn't she? How that awful family had produced _Draco_ was beyond him, but that meant he knew at least a bit. He might just use his wealth for all the morally incorrect reasons and order a few hits on the Black clan if Regulus' _scandalous_ downfall had been spread through the family like wildfire.

He doubted it though. Walburga wouldn't have wanted anything to tarnish her precious prince's name. Bad enough that he feel into depression, was _preyed on_ by the _wrong sort_ , and had ended up dead because of _those hooligans_ pressuring her sweet Reggie into the life of an addict.

Of course, he couldn't have possible sought out such things of his own accord or welcomed the 'recreational' escape with open arms. What an idea that was.

Hermione made a small, likely unintentional sound of distress, promting Draco to whisper, "Oh, Baby," Draco whispered, as his hands moved up, to — Theo assumed, though he still couldn't quite see — cup her cheeks "I don't know much but…He was my mother's cousin. I know…he's not…" Draco continued.

Looked like Theo wasn't hiring any assassins. From a purely moral standpoint he was relieved, but there was a small bitter part of his mind that still wanted justice for what Walburga Black has pushed her son into, and that part of him was rather disappointed to no longer have an excuse for offing the hag.

"He's dead," Theo snapped, annoyed, but far too tired to waste the energy on a snide comment, when they all jumped and whirled around to face him. "He died shortly before we graduated," he continued tiredly, refusing to condone the stand-offish arrangement they were in by moving towards the bedroom. "It's too long of a story for two-fifteen in the morning."

"No one's kicking you out," Blaise said quietly. "Stay... Come to bed — _our_ bed — and you can tell us in the morning."

Theo almost snorted as he passed Draco and Hermione to set the wine coolers in the open doorway. He really wanted them to piss off so he and Hermione could down their pathetic drinks and fucking _sleep_ , but it seemed the doorframe would have to suffice if he wanted to relax at all. Purposefully, he didn't acknowledge or respond to Blaise's plea. He'd already spoken his piece. Repeating his plans would insult all of their intelligences.

He wasn't surprised when Hermione finished her cuddle with Draco and moved to give Blaise similar treatment. Once she was done squeezing the life out of Blaise, not that he seemed to mind, she turned her tired eyes to Theo. He watched her adjust her posture into something easy for him to read.

Her right hand was holding her left bicep in a half-self-hugging stance while she held his gaze steadily, conveying more words to him than Draco or Blaise could possibly pick up. Then again...he knew her well enough to infer most of her thoughts without her voicing them. Even the subtlest of changes in her expression as her thoughts churned were familiar enough for him to read with ease.

 _This isn't what I want_ , she would have said. _This isn't what_ we _want._

"I know," He told her softly. "None of us want it, Precious, but that doesn't mean _we_ don't need it."

Her brows drew together slightly. _You know what I meant._

Theo sighed, "'Mione-"

But she had started to shake her head at him and reach into her pockets, searching for her phone. Theo respected her interruption as if she'd actually cut him off verbally, muttering a quiet "Ten points to Slytherin" when she caught her phone from Draco. He earned an amused raise of her brow and almost smiled in return.

Excluding the rough patches of Mute-Mione and unbearable Regulus, Theo really missed Uni sometimes. Not the homework though, just their Scotland apartment in the small, but rapidly expanding town of Hogsmeade.

He could tell she was Googling something from the white reflecting off her eyes and she typed and scrolled. When she finally passed her phone to him he sighed.

It had been quite some time since she'd had to use song lyrics to convey her thoughts to him, but she still didn't have a bit of trouble finding the perfect song. With a frown, he started reading.

 _I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive_

They both had, he knew. Regardless of how happy Blaise and Draco made them, their hidden fears were will constantly under the surface.

 _So I'm going to start over tonight, Beginning with you and I_

His frown deepened. He recognized the title of the song, but he couldn't quite remember the direction of the lyrics. Still, he found himself weary of the chorus, almost instinctually.

 _When this memory fades I'm gonna make sure it's replaced with chances taken, hope embraced. And I have I told you…_

He cursed mentally, but even though she seemed to have copied and pasted most of the song into a document on her phone, he would read it all no matter how torturous it was. He respected her words and voice too much to do otherwise. With her voice gone, these _were_ her words right now.

 _I'm not going, 'cause I've been waiting for a miracle and I'm not leaving._

 _I won't let you, let you give up on a miracle when it might save you_ and in parentheses, she'd typed _Us_ at the end of the lyric. The persistent ache in his chest intensified as he read on.

 _We've learned to run from anything uncomfortable. We've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know that inside we're broken. I try to patch things up again to calm my tears and kill these fears, but have I told you, have I?_

She'd deleted the second iteration of the chorus, thankfully, as she probably found it just as repetitive as he would have.

 _It's not faith if, if you use your eyes, Oh why (can't we try?)_

 _We'll get it right this time, this time_

 _Let's leave this all (HIM) behind, Oh why_

 _We'll get it right this time. It's not faith if you're using your eyes, Oh why (We're no better than Reggie if we don't try…)_

 _I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive, so I'm going to start over tonight, beginning with you and I- don't want to run from anything uncomfortable (I'm scared too). I just want, no, I just need this pain to end right here. It's not faith if, if you use your eyes. If you use your eyes._

He swallowed the painful lump that had formed in his throat and tugged at his hair as he passed her phone back. "Is that a risk we're willing to take?" He asked quietly. They hadn't thought Regulus could turn into a monster, but they're clearly been wrong. Even the most level-headed of people could be pushed to irrationality. Blaise wasn't Regulus, but he was human. "It's not as simple as moving back to the other bedroom, 'Mione," He continued. "They already know there's more to it than that. We...we'd have to tell them everything. _Everything_ , 'Mione," he stressed before his voice softened once more. "That's a lot to put on two people."

Theo wasn't even comfortable enough to admit his father had been ill and for a while he'd been scared to death of becoming an orphan, adult or not. Not to mention Hermione _couldn't talk_ at present. So which of them was supposed to bear their souls to Draco and Blaise?

Hermione gave him a very pointed stare, raising her eyebrow as she did so. _It's a lot for two people?_ She would have snarked. _You don't say._

She tricked a short, humorless laugh from him.

"Fair point well made, love," he conceded, then frowned again. "But your plan still relies on these two being willing to share all that baggage with us. That's heavy shite, Precious. Most people don't want to be weighed down by the dysfunction of others."

Without changing her expression, Hermione held up a hand and made a circular motion with one finger. Theo sighed. Again, she'd used his words against him.

"We _aren't_ most people, fair," he replied wearily. "But we're all human, 'Mione. If Blaise is already subconsciously primed to resent us—" to resent _me_ , he thought to himself "—why would this be any different?" He sighed again and chewed on his bottom lip a moment. "We thought Reggie would be our happily ever after and we were wrong. Who's to say we aren't wrong again?"

She held up her phone, her features pleading as she showed him the memo with the song lyrics again, and he closed his eyes for a moment, taking several measured breaths. She wasn't budging and he'd promised her several days ago that he wouldn't leave without her. That he wouldn't abandon her the way Regulus had.

"And if we're wrong?" He asked her when he opened his eyes again.

She fiddled with her phone for a moment before showing him the screen again. _Then we leave. No more splitting up. No leaving each other behind. We both agreed that I needed time alone after...everything but this time we're sticking together…Ohana, Theo. Right? Like when we were small…_

He swallowed hard as he read and she stepped forward, reaching out to draw a small circle over his heart, a bit of their own unique sign language they'd invented for the word _Ohana_. They'd do it at school so they wouldn't get targeting for quoting Disney at each other. She hadn't drawn the circle on him since the night she left…

He blinked several times, taking the hand she'd drawn the circle with and putting her fingers to his lips.

" _Ohana_ ," he returned after kissing them and tugging her towards him. "You know having faith in things isn't my forte," he said, referencing the song lyrics she'd shown him.

She was quiet for a purposeful pause before she hugged him a little tighter. He could almost hear her voice in his head. _Then have faith in me._ He squeezed her back, hoping he wasn't hurting her but needing her close too much to ease up.

"I can do that," He said quietly. "As long as you keep your promise, I can do that." _As long as you really do come with me if we need to leave_ , he thought wearily.

They held onto each other for a while, time lost to them as Theo, twice as exhausted as he had been previously, tried to draw strength from his tiny rock. Part of him felt like a prat for needing her. He was supposed to be the strong one, but he was just as frayed at the edges as she was right now.

"Come to bed, please," Draco murmured, drawing Theo out of his 'Mione bubble. "We're all exhausted, this past— month and a half? Two months?" _Fifty-two days_ , Theo corrected mentally. He'd counted. "Fuck if I know anymore — have been exhausting and awful. Can we please just go have a cuddle and deal with everything else in the morning?"

Theo sighed quietly as Hermione pulled back and took his hand, her silent stare echoing Draco's question.

"Yeah," he muttered, squeezing her hand.

For her, he would try — for her, he would risk anything — but if he was honest with himself, he was being selfish too.

He didn't want to lose Draco and Blaise either.

Theo sighed heavily as he leaned back into the couch. Everyone's belongings were packed and on their way to Wilshire. He hadn't explained 'the flat' to Draco and Blaise for his own amusement, though he had told them it rested very deeply into his father's property, offering privacy that the guest quarters of the main manor could not give them.

Hermione's voice still cut in and out sporadically, which worried him but she _seemed_ better the last few days. Things had settled, albeit unevenly, between them all but they had settled nonetheless.

"You willing to tell us where we're going yet?" Draco asked him quietly from the other end of the couch. "Curious, is all."

Theo shrugged as he twirled a curly ringlet of Hermione's hair around a finger. "Father finally got some much wanted details about my and 'Mione's 'mystery relationship' and insisted we bring you around sooner rather than later. Thus…" He swept his free hand in front of him. "We head off to Wiltshire."

Theo laid his head back against the back of the couch, feigning relaxed nonchalance instead of observing Blaise's surprised reaction.

The words _Did you really fucking think I was hiding you?_ were far too close to the tip of his tongue to be safe, so he just kept quiet.

"I feel like there's more to it than that," said Draco, frowning.

Theo didn't move from his pretend-relaxed position as he sighed. "Band-aid method, love," he answered. "What better place to tell our sob story than at the place where it all began?"

Draco shared a worried glance with Blaise that went unnoticed by Theodore. "If you're sure," he murmured doubtfully.

Theo wasn't, nor was Hermione, but neither said a word.

Under normal conditions, a long drive in his Audi was exactly what Theo needed to relax, but the last time he'd driven to Wiltshire calming down hadn't been a possibility. His father's good health certainly helped his nerves this time around, but having Draco and Blaise in the back seat was causing him stress. Probably irrational stress, but stress nonetheless.

They'd been quiet for the last hour or so since they stopped for food, gas, and bathroom breaks. Theo had been using the Bluetooth connection between his phone and the car to play a few modern classical pieces in a futile attempt to bring himself a bit of peace, but when they rolled to a stop when the light at the end of the exit ramp turned red, Hermione picked his phone up from where it sat on the center console.

He didn't really care what she changed it to as long as she didn't try to make a point by playing that Paramore song — _Miracle_ , if memory served — to remind him of his promise. Thankfully she didn't and the song she ended up choosing made him grin.

"Aw, Baby, you remembered my theme song," he teased, tapping his fingers against the wheel to the beat while Eminem spat out the familiar verbal acrobatics.

A quick glance in the rearview told him Draco and Blaise had never heard the song, which made him snicker as the chorus came around.

 _Everybody knows that you're just an asshole_  
 _Everywhere that you go, people wanna go home, everyone knows_  
 _Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice_  
 _There's no place you can hide_  
 _You are just an asshole_  
 _Everyone knows, everyone knows_

Theo snorted when he glance in the rearview again to find Draco rolling his eyes.

"At least he's self aware," The blond muttered from the back seat, earning a quiet chuckle from Blaise as the light _finally_ turned green.

DJ Granger kept her song choices playful and familiar. Most of the tracks dug up hazy memories of spring breaks spent on pretty beaches with a certain curvy siren molded against him. He could almost hear Parkinson whining at him for keeping Hermione to himself and snickered. Pansy probably would have cut off a limb for one night with 'Mione back then. He managed to mentally side step Reggie's part in those memories.

It wasn't until Theo was finally on one of the long paved roads that would lead them out to all of the large spans of private property that he noticed Hermione's somewhat triumphant expression. It took him a moment to realize that his nerves were less frayed, still present, but not quite as raw. Sneaky little thing had distracted him. He's have to think of a sufficient way to thank her later. Preferably something involving his mouth and her screaming.

As they passed the guarded and gated entrance to the Rosier family's estate, Draco piped up.

"Rosier? Are we on the north side?" He asked.

"North north-west," Hermione answered, her voice quiet but functional for the time being. "Heading to the North East side. Why?"

Draco shrugged in the backseat, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Just...I mean I knew the Notts were old money but hell, my family is old money and Malfoy Manor in on the south side, almost dead center."

"The properties don't move around as the wealth fluctuates within the families," Theo pointed out. "Some of these manors are hundreds of years old, they've just been updated and well cared for. I know for a fact that when my father inherited Nott Manor, he had the whole thing taken down and rebuilt before he married Mum. They planned their wedding and honeymoon around when the construction would be complete." They passed the Gaunt family home next. "That said," Theo continued, "Your family's net worth is at least triple that of the Rosiers'. Out of all the original families, only the Notts and Princes have managed to increase their wealthy consistently since they originally settled."

"The _Princes_?" Blaise chimed, confusion lacing his tone. "I thought they died out."

Theo glanced at Hermione briefly, too quick for the boys to think anything of it, but long enough for him to gather that she wasn't about to offer up much on the subject.

"There's one left," she answered neutrally.

"Technically two," said Theo carefully.

She glanced at him and shrugged. "He's on the wrong side of the line to inherit," she said. "Even if the heiress died and left him everything, he couldn't actually receive it."

"Why?" Asked Draco.

"Stupid family feud a few generations back," she answered.

"You seem to know a lot about the family," Blaise commented. Without looking at him, Theo couldn't be certain if there was a veiled accusation in that statement.

Hermione, either touchy because of the subject, or having decided there _was_ an accusation buried in his observation, twisted in her seat to give him a level stare.

"Well, I would certainly hope so," she said cooly, "Considering I'm the last of the line."

Theo winced slightly. Hermione's family was a sore spot, but she wasn't supposed to be the hot head. Which meant she'd helped calm his nerves but was hiding just how on edge she was herself.

"Easy, Precious," He said smoothly. "Isn't openness and honesty the whole point of this trip down memory lane? Uncomfortable questions come with the territory."

Hermione started to mutter a quiet apology, but Blaise cut her off.

"Don't worry about it," he told her. "It's obvious that you're both painfully out of your comfort zones. And honestly, as far as lashing out goes, that was mild."

"You two decided it needed to happen now," said Draco softly. "We figured you'd want to wait a bit longer after...the argument, but you two seem to want to get this out of the way. We're following, not pressing."

"I know," mumbled Hermione. "Just...bad déjà vu. Even though nothing about this is the same as..."

Theo reached over with one hand and threaded his fingers with hers. "We're okay," he told her gently. "Focus on the differences between this time and last time. Name a few for me?"

Hermione exhaled slowly, squeezing his fingers. "We aren't listening to Lady Sovereign...?"

Theo snorted. "Please don't get that song stuck in my head," he begged playfully. "That's one."

"The back seat is relatively quiet," she continued.

"Silent by comparison," Theo agreed. When Hermione paused thoughtfully, he gently added, "You're more talkative."

"There's that," she murmured, then snickered. "I'm not feeding you chicken nuggets."

Draco snorted in the back. "Why were you in the first place?"

"So I'd keep my hands on the wheel," Theo answered, grinning into the rearview briefly. "I might have been speeding."

"You're speeding now," Blaise said.

"Speeding _significantly,_ " Theo amended. "There's another one. Different car. Top isn't down."

Hermione chewed her lip as they neared the end of the long road. Nott Manor and Prince Park were visible from the street, sitting to the left and right respectively, although they seemed small from a distance.

"Remember how much of a bitch it was to bike to each other's houses?" Theo commented. "Until we got our toy four wheelers?"

"God forbid one of us forgot to charge the damn things. They were basically big RC cars," she mumbled, making him laugh as he turned left, driving another quarter mile before slowing at the locked gate.

Theo rolled his window down and hit a button on what looked like an intercom system, which buzzed briefly.

" _Back again so soon, young Master Nott?_ "

"Hello, Hagrid," said Theo, grinning at the status light near the almost unnoticeable camera lens. "That I am. How's the garden?"

" _Oh_ y _'know how Fang is. Quite the brute at times. Went and broke the fences again, he did. Still trying to save the cabbages he trampled._ "

"Ruddy menace," Theo said empathetically. "Is father home?"

" _Aye. Waiting for yer, last I heard,_ " The gate creaked as is slid open. " _Best t'not keep 'im waitin', aye?_ "

"Thank you, Hagrid," Hermione called sweetly.

" _It's my pleasure, Hermione, you know that. It's good t'see you both home again._ "

Grinning slightly, Theo rolled up his window and drove through the gate, speeding down the familiar driveway with a small knot in his chest.

Home sweet home.

He slowed as the drive opened to a massive circle with a simple, but still rather large, fountain in its center. He pulled around, parking at the base of the steps right in front of the large double doors.

Theo pretended not to notice as Draco and Blaise drank it all in. He knew what their family homes looked like: Grand, certainly, but Theo's father could have built 5 fully furnished Malfoy Manors with the budget he'd used to update his home for his bride and it showed.

Draco and Blaise seemed to have missed the fork in the driveway that disappeared off the main property and into the woods as they drove up, because Draco curiously asked, "Where does that lead to?"

"The flat," Theo said straight faced in spite of the look Hermione gave him as they got out of the car. "There's a nicely sized lake several miles out that way. Dad figured we'd like the view. Cleared out a nice section of the woods so we wouldn't feel completely immersed in the wilderness, but it's still very scenic. And private."

"There's no such thing as a standalone apartment," Blaise commented with a raised brow.

Theo smirked. "No there is not. Fifteen points to Ravenclaw. I'll give you another fifteen if you can figure out the joke when we go there later."

Theo hadn't even gotten a third of the way up the steps when the large dark wood doors opened. He gave the man standing on the other side of the threshold a glare.

"Impatient," he accused. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

The man rolled his honey brown eyes, not at all bothered by Theo's attitude. "I'm perfectly recuperated, Theodore. Your concern is touching, though," He said calmly, smirking when Theo got more annoyed at him for not rising to the bait. "Besides, I think you're confusing the parent-child relationship a bit. It's my job to take care of _you_."

"I'm grown," Theo protested, stopping on the top step stubbornly.

"Oh, well spotted," praised his father, familiar smirk still firmly in place. "Good to know Hermione's still a good influence on your mental capabilities."

Theo sighed heavily as Hermione passed him, wrapping her arms around Theo's father without hesitation. Her hug was returned warmly and accented with a kiss to her hair.

Theo took the opportunity to turn to Blaise and Draco, thumb pointing in his father's direction. "Boys, Theron. Dad, boys. Introductions over."

"Fussy thing," Theron commented without releasing Hermione or lifting his nose from her hair. "Don't you feed him, sweetheart?"

Theo's lips turned into a distasteful frown, to Draco and Blaise's amusement.

"I try," Hermione answered. "It is a bit of a drive though. I know I'm hungry."

Theron gave her a fond smile. "Lucky for you that dinner's ready then, isn't it? It's almost like I knew you were coming."

"Oh my God," Theo groaned. "Dad. _Stop_."

Theron threw a wink at Draco and Blaise as he pulled Hermione inside and started leading them through the house. "I don't know what you're talking about, son. I'm just being myself."

"Yeah," Theo muttered bitterly as he followed his father inside. "That's the problem."

Draco and Blaise shared an amused glance as they trailed behind Theo, briefly noting the maid dusting nearby as she moved to shut and lock the doors.

 **Welcome to Wiltshire, everyone. Theron is pleased to meet you and I'm pleased for you to meet him.**


	7. 12HT14Nott65

Part VII

Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU Crack Fic || NSFW Themes/Discussions || TW: Mentions of BDSM, implied trauma, PTSD, Dad Jokes

[All the love to ash-castle for alpha-ing for me!] [Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.]

Nott Manor was massive to say the least, and though it's interior betrayed the family's wealth, it did so without being utterly ridiculous. Draco wondered if his mother would take a hint and redecorate if she was ever a guest to the Notts... It was unlikely, but he could dream.

The dining room Theo's father lead them too was small and clearly meant for more intimate dinner parties than a larger dining hall would have been. The room had an elegantly whimsical atmosphere with its pale grey-ish blue walls and earthy decorative accents. The round table in the middle of the room was set for five and painted a creamy ivory. The carvings on the table's base made it somewhat resemble and odd sort of tree, and the boys noticed that there were gems imbedded into the wood in seemingly random places. It was pretty, but far from what Draco and Blaise had been expecting.

"I hope you boys like Italian," Theron said as they all sat down. Theo and Hermione took the seats on his right and left respectively, with Blaise beside Hermione and Draco beside Theodore. As an afterthought, Theron grinned at Blaise and added, "Or have been away from home long enough to tolerate it."

Blaise smiled in return, realizing that his mother probably knew the Nott patriarch. "I'm not sick of it yet," he assured. "Granted, when I originally moved back to London, I didn't touch it for two years."

Theron snorted. "Understandable. I figured fettuccine alfredo would provide sufficient carbs to soothe any remaining sore spots from that little spat you lot had a while ago."

Theo glanced sharply at his father, then gave Hermione a slightly hurt look.

"Oh stop it," Theron sighed. "She didn't tell me anything. You moped the entire time I was in the hospital. Did you really think I wouldn't be able to tell you were having a lover's quarrel? And not with Hermione?"

Theo glared daggers at his father, but Theron did little more than raise an eyebrow in return.

"Honestly, Theodore, if I can't read you like a book, no one can."

"'Mione can read me better than you," Theo muttered petulantly.

Theron rolled his eyes. "Isn't there some psycho-sexual explanation for that?"

"Yes."

"Well, there you have it."

Hermione glanced at Draco and Blaise, enjoying the confused mirth in their eyes as they watched Theo bicker with his father. As observant as Theo was, he hadn't, and probably wouldn't, picked up on the fact that his father was giving him an outlet for all the nervous energy he was trying to hide from Draco and Blaise.

"Anywho," Theron said after breaking the small staring contest he'd been having with his son. "Seems like you've done well with these two, if you ask me," he mused, glancing between Draco and Blaise. "Everyone's equal but different types of attractive, so that's balanced. Temperaments seem complementary as well. You know, Zira was in town a few weeks ago gushing about the lot of you. I assume we're saving Lucius and Narcissa for last with this whole meet the parents thing?"

"Yep," Hermione answered, preventing Theo from snapping something that was probably unkind. "Lucius won't be a problem, though."

Draco's curious stare went unnoticed as Theron grinned at Hermione.

"That's right," he chuckled. "You strengthened your business relationship with the Malfoys after your inheritance settled, didn't you?"

Hermione preened and fluttered her lashes innocently. "A bit, maybe."

"That's my girl," he praised fondly.

"My girl, thank you," Theo snapped.

Theron rolled his eyes. "Am I supposed to believe you have a sharing issue? Really? Look around the table and explain to me what prompted you to think that I would choose now to start taking your shit seriously, Theodore."

"Prick," Theo mumbled.

"I have one, yes," his father replied instantly. "As do you, or so the doctor's told me."

Blaise made eye contact with Draco and quietly said, "I think I figured out where he gets it from."

"You did," Hermione said at a normal volume, just as the wait staff arrived from a nearby door. "The foundation for Theo's personality is absolutely hereditary."

Theron thanked the staff warmly when they'd finished delivering steaming plates, filling tall waters, and pouring glasses of Pinot Grigio. Hermione snatched a breadstick before anyone had even thought to move, earning an unsurprised grin from Theron in the process.

"I'm hungry," she said with a shrug.

"By all means, eat," Theron invited. Then, sparing a teasing glance at his son, he added, "We'll have more than enough time to talk once grumpy tummies are full."

Instead of answering, Theo twisted pasta around his fork with unnecessary force and pointedly shoved the forkful in his mouth.

Theo had avoided the wine at dinner with the intention of driving everyone to The Flat and escaping his father as quickly as possible. He hoped his father wouldn't be quite so ridiculous for the entire trip, but his playful mood told Theo just how well he'd recovered after having been sick. He may not have been happy about being embarrassed, but at least his father was back in perfect health.

Still, despite his eagerness to escape, Theo hung back as his adorable and somewhat tipsy idiots got in the car. His father was a few feet away, regarding him thoughtfully, and spoke up after a moment.

"I take it you're trying to be more open with them?" He mused. "Doesn't seem like just a 'meet the parent' visit to me."

"It's not," Theo murmured, glancing at the car briefly. "It's…complicated…"

Theron smiled wryly. "You're involved, Theo, of course it is. 'Mione was the only thing ever handed to you, love, and once upon a time your friendship wasn't simple either."

Theo shrugged. "I'd rather bite a few jackass kids on a playground than sort through this mess, to be honest," he said with a quiet sigh.

Theron's smile faltered slightly. "That bad, huh?"

Theo shrugged again.

"Tell you what," said Theron. "You take them to The Flat, get them in bed, and call me on Skype once they're out. Get some whiskey or something. Seems like you need to talk some of this out." At Theo's unsure stare, he added, "You take care of everyone you love, Theodore, but it's still my job to take care of you when you need it"

Theo swallowed and nodded stiffly. "If you get tired before you hear from me, just let me know."

Theron raised a brow. "Go get them in bed, Theo. I'll be in my office."

Theo sighed once more before finally making his way to the car. He knew a lost battle when he saw one.

Blaise woke up with a dull headache in an unfamiliar room. Draco's back was pressed against his side, but the blond was still fast asleep. Carefully, as not to wake Draco, Blaise peaked over his still form to check the other side of the bed.

Empty.

He panicked for a moment before reminding himself that they weren't home, that Theo and Hermione had not left them, and that it had been a few somewhat tense weeks since the argument. They were in Wiltshire. They'd met Theo' father.

They were still together.

He slowly let out a relieved sigh before he carefully moved out of the bed, as not to wake Draco. Thick pewter curtains blocked the light that would have been coming in from the far right wall, causing on the most persistent of rays to be visible around the edges of the fabric. Blaise squinted slightly as he made his way through the shadows of the room, noting that the color scheme appeared to be made up of lighter colors. He wasn't sure of exact shades without the light, but he would have to investigate that later.

Noting the slightly cracked door on the far side of the room, Blaise made his way over to it, yawning as he crossed the threshold and set the door ajar for Draco. Not many lights were on, but a few rays spilled in from the end of the hall, which was much longer than Blaise's tired body cared to venture. He sluggishly, and thus quietly, made the trek nonetheless.

He slowed even more as he neared the end of the hall. He could hear a few stray words here and there, but hesitated, frowning. He hated to eavesdrop on Theo and Hermione again, but, as last time had proved, sometimes such abuses of privacy were necessary with those two. Blaise and Draco hadn't pressed either of their partners for information or further details on their troublesome past, both out of respect and worry for their mental health, but the subject hadn't come up at all since the argument. It was exhausting to still be so close and so far away from them at the same time, even though it was better that they were physically close hadn't, say, set up a makeshift Fort Knox on one half of the house, for example.

But he still worried.

Hermione's voice wasn't a consistent variable anymore and it was obvious how uncomfortable Theodore was when Blaise and Draco were forced to acknowledge and work around her silence. It made Blaise wonder just how much Regulus had been around for. How long had the three been together? How did he die? Why were Theo and Hermione left so horribly broken in the aftermath?

Those were only a handful of the questions that made Blaise quietly move a little farther down the hall until he could hear them clearly. Until he could tell Hermione was crying.

"Do you want to go to the cemetery?" Theo asked her in what Blaise recognized as his therapist voice. The same voice people used with wounded animals and panicking children. "You never said anything, 'Mione. I thought you'd worked through it on your own. That's why you left…"

"I did," she said thickly. "I thought I did…"

"Tell me what you need," he said quietly. "Tell me what I need to do to make this better."

She didn't answer him, but the strangled, tortured noise that left her made Blaise come out of hiding and, without having to try very hard to look both worried and confused, ask what was going on.

Theo either didn't assume Blaise had been eavesdropping again or didn't care, since there wasn't an accusatory glare thrown in his direction. Instead all Blaise received was a weary glance as he sat beside the two on the idiotically expensive couch. Chewing his lip worriedly, he wondered if Theo's grip on Hermione's shaking form was tight enough to hurt her even if it was meant to be a source of comfort.

"I gutted this place when she left," Theo told him quietly. "It helped get rid of the memories, but…" He sighed. "Getting the layout and interior design of a house completely redone doesn't erase the past."

Blaise put a comforting hand on Hermione's knee, leaning into Theo slightly in the process, and stayed with them even after her tears finally faded into quiet hiccups and sniffles. Theo's grip never loosened, so Blaise never moved his hand.

"I want to go to the cemetery," she croaked a while later, interrupting the silence. "But not today. Or tomorrow."

"Whenever you're ready," Theo soothed. "Say the words and we'll go. There's no pressure."

She burrowed closer to him, her body tensing up once again.

"I'm awful," she sobbed. "I haven't gone in years, Theo. What kind of-"

Theo shushed her and Blaise suddenly realized that was something he'd never done before, even when trying to calm her down in the past.

"No one's judging you. There's no punch card or loyalty reward program for visiting the deceased," he said, kissing her hair. "Stop running yourself through the mud. I'd be more concerned with you taking care of yourself than being a masochist to visit me if I was six feet under."

Her grip around his torso tightened so the point where Theo winced. "You're not allowed to die," she mumbled into his shirt. "You're not allowed to leave me."

He kissed her head again. "And to the best of my ability, I'll see to it that I don't," he assured her. "As long as you do the same."

Blaise waited patiently for one of them to elaborate and tell him what was wrong. His hand was still on Hermione's knee, his thumb gently moving back and forth against her skin, even as it became clear to him that he would probably be waiting for an explanation for quite some time.

"You said you wanted to shower," Theo said gently, reaching a hand up to pet her curls. "Do you need me or do you want some time to yourself?"

She sniffed before answering. "I think I can manage…you have your phone?"

Theo hummed his affirmation.

"I…I'll text you if I can't…"

"Okay," he said, loosening his hold on her so she could, somewhat unsteadily, get to her feet. "Be patient with yourself and take your time. You're okay and I'm pretty sure with the plumbing upgrades, the hot water wouldn't run out even if every faucet and water-based appliance in this place was running at the same time for hours. Take it easy."

She nodded, though it was a teary gesture, and slowly shuffled back towards the bedroom. Theo and Blaise sat in silence until her quiet, uneven breaths were too far away to hear and the echo of the bedroom door clicking shut reached them.

"What the fuck did he do?" Blaise asked, only barely registering that the anger boiling inside him was pointed at a dead man and thus, he was wasting his energy being pissed off. "That isn't Hermione. That isn't our Hermione, Theodore. What the fuck did he do to her? What did he do to both of you?"

Theo was slowly running his hands over his face, his fingers pressing into his eyes, when Blaise realized he had started to cry too.

"I know you're frustrated with us, with me, because we still haven't told you and Draco much of anything," He began shakily. "But that, what you just saw, is the last thing we're going to bring up." He paused, swallowed, and added, "Assuming we're capable of getting that particular part of the story out. My Dad's the only one who knows, and only because…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "Sorry. None of this will make sense out of context and there's too much preceding information you'll need to digest first."

Blaise took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and reminded himself that getting angry at traumatized people for hesitating to relive their trauma would make him an asshole.

"When can we start chipping away at the story?" He asked instead. "How do we make this as painless as possible?"

Theo gave him a watery, self-deprecating smile. "We figured out the first part already, but as for the second half of that question: We don't." He wiped the heel of his hand across his eyes. "Fuck, I really thought she'd worked through this on her own. Fuck, fuck, Fuck. It's why she left."

Blaise frowned and, against his frustrated instincts, said, "I'll try to be patient."

"Love you," Theo murmured miserably.

"I love you too."

Theron called Theo while Blaise and Draco were curled up with a borderline comatose Hermione on the couch.

"Hey," Theo said, pacing the room slowly. "She's not up for anything tonight. She's...not coping well."

There was a pause while Theo listened.

"Yeah. We'll talk to you soon. Love you."

Blaise watched Theo make his way towards the kitchen with no small amount of concern. He could have sworn Theodore swiped a hand across his cheek as he left the room, but Blaise couldn't tell for certain.

When Theo came back a while later with dry eyes to inform them that dinner was ready, Blaise assumed he'd just imagined the whole thing.

Blaise and Draco were worried when Theodore asked them to follow him through the house. They went up to the third floor, a floor they'd yet to visit previously, and Theo stopped outside a seemingly nondescript door. He fished his keys out of his pockets, selecting one that had an overlay of a sailboat against blue water, and used it to unlock the door.

Inside was a very large, well organized office for two. It was painfully obvious that the right side belonged to Hermione, with its bookshelves, pads of paper, and writing materials, as compared to the cooler, technology-oriented space on the left, it couldn't have belonged to anyone else.

The shelves that held the expected collection of books on Hermione's side were much barer in Theodore's office space. The sheer number of cameras, camcorders, and professional looking recording equipment, combined with the much more advanced computer system, confused and amazed Draco and Blaise both. They'd never seen Theo with more than a laptop and a smartphone, so they weren't quite sure what they were looking at.

Theodore sat at his desk, gestured to two spare chairs near the door, and started booting up his super computer. He tugged and brushed back his hair in random, anxiety induced pattern while everything loaded, stopping only when it was time to enter his password. To their surprise, he clicked show password before entering it in.

12HT14Nott6.5

Blaise gave Draco a look, but neither thought it wise to ask Theodore the significance of his password or why he'd chosen to show it to them.

"You'll figure it out," Theo murmured, reading their minds. When his desktop finally loaded, he opened up his files and took a deep breath. "Story time," he said bitterly.

"Take your time," said Draco, thinking of their miserable girlfriend still huddled in bed on the floor below. "We may not know exactly why this is hard on you two but we understand that it is. Just…take it at the pace you need too, okay?"

Theo made a tearful noise in the back of his throat, but his eyes stayed dry. "Yeah…" He agreed and leaned back in his chair when the screen was finally on folder named Memories which contained dozens of folders within it.

He swallowed hard. "My mum got one of those shitty little Kodak camera's for her birthday when she was — I don't know. It was before she went to college. Maybe when she was fifteen or so? — Anyway, she took pictures all the time, developed them, started to get an eye for photography…" He swallowed again, this time wincing from the difficulty. "She upgraded to a digital camera a little bit before I was born. Somewhere in these folders are videos of her singing to her stomach, to me, and videos of us singing together after I was born," he told them quietly. "I didn't meet Hermione in a park when I was a toddler. I met Hermione when she was born. That video is in here somewhere too. Our parents have been friends for ages and we've been friends since birth."

"Why didn't we get the truth the first time?" Draco asked. "I'm not mad…just confused."

Theo shrugged, looking more than a bit guilty. "I don't tell people anything important or wholly truthful until I know I can trust them. I…Reggie knew everything upfront and in the end he used all of those things against us. Against her." His voice was as tired as it was bitter. "I wasn't there when it happened. I just came home to her suddenly silent again and he was gone. It took two and a half weeks to get her to tell me exactly what had happened. A few days later his brother called us crying, telling us that he'd just left the morgue to ID Reggie's body. Prick didn't have his wallet with him when he died, for whatever reason." Theo shook his head to clear it. "Long story. I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough with the full truth before."

"What else don't we know?" Blaise asked quietly.

Theo only shrugged. "You'll find all the loose ends in here." He gestured towards the monitor. "This is the complete archive of every video my mother made that contains myself, Hermione, or — most often — both of us. If it's organized by year, month, day, or in some other incredibly systematic and OCD way, then it's my mom's. The less systematic organization and naming conventions will probably make it pretty clear when you've headed into my territory."

He stood, his weariness evaporating the youthful air he usually gave off, and let out a heavy sigh. "The last time I touched any of this was when I was uploading and editing some of the last videos I filmed before Hermione left." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "I wasn't recording as much during our final semester of Uni. There were papers to write, all the shit with Reg, and…well. You'll get into it. Just...," he sighed again. "I didn't go through and delete everything with Reggie. I considered it, many times actually, but there were too many instances that involved Hermione being very happy or where we'd done something new, so I've just left it all alone."

Blaise shrugged. "I'd expect nothing less. It's fine."

Theo gave him a worried look and Draco made a noise of sudden understanding.

"Oh. Naturally," He mumbled. "It's you. Duh." Blaise glanced between the two, confused, until Draco said, "Sex tapes."

Blaise rubbed a temple and shook his head. "I really shouldn't be surprised. At all."

Theo sounded somewhat sheepish. "There's probably more of just me and Hermione than the three of us, honestly."

Draco frowned. "How? I though you met Regulus at Uni a little while after you and Hermione started dating."

Theo looked away, his eyes on the floor.

"How long have you two actually been together?" Blaise asked slowly.

Theo still wouldn't make eye contact when he answered. "My dad will tell you we've been going steady since she was born. Some of our oldest buddies from primary will tell you we've been dating since the day we made those t-shirts with our class that I told you about…" He hesitated. "Most people who've known us that long will tell you we've been together since long before we officially started dating, which was when we were…thirteen and fourteen, I think."

"Jesus Christ," Draco muttered. "You've literally been inseparable since birth, haven't you?"

"Until she left, yeah," Theo admitted, his voice hollow.

"That's why she wanted us to meet you so badly," Blaise said, gears turning in his head. "She wanted you back, but she wanted us too."

Theo looked between the two warily, as if he was waiting for one of them to explode.

Draco exhaled slowly. "She loves us, I don't doubt that, but she needs you…"

"She needs you too," Theo insisted, his face pale and his voice very small. "Once we started…started packing up and moving to the other side of the house she immediately closed in on herself. She didn't stop talking because she thought you were turning against us. She stopped talking because she couldn't handle the thought of losing the two of you, even though she had me."

"She'd be worse without you," Blaise disagreed. "But that makes sense. She's had you her whole life."

Theo started to tell them something, but changed his mind at the last second and said, "Well, regardless. We love both of you. You know that."

"We do," Blaise affirmed. "So. Your mum. You two as kids. Regulus. Sex tapes. Anything else?"

"Um," Theo began. "About the sex tapes…"

"We know you're a kinky bastard, Theodore," Draco reminded him.

The silence that followed made Blaise sighed. "How bad?" He asked. "What are we talkin' here? Spankings? Tugging hair? Pinning?"

"Rope," Theo croaked. "Lots of rope. And…just…rough shit. Not…not hurting her, really. No blood, because…just no. No welts or really bad bruising. Mostly uh…um..."

"Mostly?" Draco prompted gently.

Theo actually blushed. "Ever heard of orgasm control?" Draco and Blaise stared at him until he groaned. "Okay. So. If you have someone bound — or at your mercy in any way really — you can either deny, delay, or, with practice, force orgasms on said person."

"What the actual fuck…" Draco said quietly.

Theo's voice became tiny again. "It's something she needs, needed. The structure, being able to let go of control. Obviously we can live without it as well, but she's better with it, especially when things get emotionally trying."

Draco chewed the inside of his cheek. "If you…did that tonight, would she start talking again? Would she start acting a bit more normal again?"

Theo frowned. "No," he told them. "Not right away. I'd...It would take getting her back into the lifestyle. I'd have to 'turn on' old psychological pathways. Get her into subspace. Aftercare. During care. Care. Lots of care. Rewarding her for making any noise."

"You've done this before," Blaise noted.

Theo's regarded Blaise with a raw sort of openness. "It's how we got her voice back," he said quietly. "Me and…and Reggie."

Blaise regarded the computer wearily. "There's getting the truth out and then there's invading privacy," he said softly, frowning. "Theo, this is far beyond the line of finding out the truth. There's probably shit in here you never expected anyone else to see."

Theo nodded, validating Blaise's last statement. "Mostly the more, ah, recreational videos, but when I promised Hermione no one else would see them we hadn't gotten into the whole polyamory thing yet. I'm sure there's some genuinely embarrassing videos of me as a toddler hidden in there too but you've kinda earned the right to see those at this point, I think. You're putting up with this shit…"

Blaise frowned. "We don't 'put up with' you," he said, his voice hard. "You and Hermione are hurting. Tell me, psych major, are you or are you not traumatized by your past?"

"Unfortunately," Theo murmured.

"And are you or are you not victims of emotional abuse?"

Theo winced. "It wasn't like-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Draco interrupted. "I've had the textbooks you kept from Uni since the two-months-that-shall-not-be-named. You absolutely fit the bill."

"It was fifty-two days," Theo corrected far too quickly, earning two raised brows. "I…I count when I'm upset," he mumbled. "Or anxious. Just generally when I'm not emotionally okay I count things."

"In your head, apparently," said Blaise, "Since we're just learning this now."

Theo winced again. "Usually yeah. I've got a spreadsheet though…it's full of formulas that calculate the time between a start date and the current date. It helps kinda. I don't feel the need to count manually as often."

Draco was frowning worriedly at Theodore by the time he'd finished his explanation. "Did you do that before Regulus?"

"Yeah," Theo answered. "Just…not the same way. I could stop if I tried hard enough to ignore the urge. It's a bit more demanding when it comes up now."

Blaise felt his nails digging into his palm and opened his mouth to say something, before promptly shutting it again and looking away. Naturally, Theo had noticed and zoned in on him with a frown.

"That wasn't a happy thought…" He mumbled. "And one you'd rather I didn't know about, by the looks of it."

"No it was not," Blaise agreed darkly. "And you probably wouldn't like it."

"I don't like this situation," Theo pointed out. "There isn't much that could make me feel worse about all of this. And I want to know…You're upset. Angry."

Blaise regarded him with a cold, level stare. "I'm glad he's dead," he said darkly. "Because if he wasn't I'd have someone hunt him down for what he's done to the two of you. Hermione's miserable and not talking. Never have I ever looked at you and had the word 'fragile' pop into my head!" He growled. "Look at this situation, Theo. What do you see here? Because I see half my family in tatters and terrified of what's going to happen when we—" He gestured between himself and Draco. "— Finally know the whole story!"

Theo blinked at him in silence and Blaise sighed heavily. "I see victims blaming themselves, Theo. And I can already tell, based on the little we know so far, that none of what happened was your fault. And I know somewhere in that brilliant mind of yours, you know that you're not to blame."

Theo swallowed uncomfortably. "High emotions poison mental waters," he said, his voice unsteady. "Knowing something from a textbook or a lecture doesn't change the perception. It's disconnected…It's different." He swallowed again, this time with misty eyes. "You really meant that…"

"I said you wouldn't like it," Blaise muttered.

Theo shook his head, but seemed to give up on speaking in favor of kissing Blaise's cheek and heading for the door. "If you guys have questions about anything in the videos just ask…I'm running to my dad's for a bit. I'll let you know if she doesn't want to come with me."

They watched him leave, worried and sad, before they finally regarded the computer again.

"You ready for this?" Draco asked.

"No," said Blaise. "And I don't think either of us ever will be."

 **Out of the frying pan and into the video archives...**


	8. Archives and Orcas

**Part VIII**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 **TWs: General warning about trauma, loss and death. I'd explain further but spoilers. Mentions of emotional abuse.**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.]_

After several minutes of quiet discussion, Draco and Blaise decided to find videos from Theo and Hermione's early years at Uni to start their search for answers. If things became too tense, they agreed to take appropriate breaks and possibly chase anything unpleasant with clips of their loves as children.

Even with their guidelines in place, their task was not an easy one.

Theo hadn't been kidding when he warned them about the contrast between his and his mother's organization methods. There was an obvious line between the Year-Month-Day method, with it's brief summaries in the file descriptions, and the Year-Sometimes Month-Theo Specific folder and file naming conventions. They did, however, find the correct folders after doing a bit of maths and rolling their eyes a time or two at Theodore's...Theo-ness.

"This is supposed to be serious," Draco muttered, barely able to keep himself from smiling. "But seriously? He named the folder for their first spring break _Big Pimpin in the Caribbean_?"

Blaise was rubbing his eyes with one hand and shaking with silent chuckles. "Well considering the February folder was called _Peaches n Crream_ , are you really surprised?"

Draco sniggered despite himself. "What are the odds that Valentine's day was the one day of the month he didn't record anything?"

"Zero."

They only laughed harder when Draco opened the folder and started scanning file names. _Snakes on a Plane. Reason #34 To Buy Pansy An Island. Good Girl Gone Bad. Enter Regulus Stage Left. Bonefire Night 1. Bonefire Night 2. Truth or Dare Night 3. Reggie and Mione Morning 4. Pissy Pansy: The Jealousy is Real Pt. 1. Pissy Pansy Pt. 2: The Pity Party. So You Think You Can Dance: Drunk Regulus Edition. Reggie Learns the Ropes. Karaoke Night 3 AKA Someone Hit Pansy's Mute Button. Regulus vs Drunk Mione. My Idiots Are Occasionally Cute. Mione Being Cute 1. Mione Being Cute 2. Mione Being Cute 3 ft Sleepy Reggie. Buttface Being Not Ugly. Buttface Being Not Ugly 2. Butface Being Not Ugly 3: Mione's Revenge. Reggie Thinking I Won't Replace His Name With Buttface On Every Video Henceforth. Mione and Buttface On the Beach. Mione and Buttface Bonefire Night 7. Snakes on a Plane: The Sequel._

"Mother of Christ," Blaise muttered from behind his hands. "He's such a dork."

Draco was still giggling, but wiped his eyes on his sleeve and nodded in agreement. "He's a cute dork though. I guess we found where Regulus comes into the picture, unless the 'stage left' thing is a joke."

Blaise hummed in agreement and glanced at the video times. Most were relatively short, to his surprise. "I guess he edited some of these down. Most of them aren't longer than fifteen or twenty minutes," he pointed out.

"Want to just start at the beginning?" Draco asked.

"We may as well," Blaise mused, sitting back as Draco opened the _Snake On A Plane_ file.

There was a simple, tasteful title screen with the name Theo had given the video, the date it was taken, and the location on the screen briefly. The sound started before the frames changed, and they knew Theo was filming in an airport before a younger Hermione came into view. She was curled up on a seat, clearly at a gate waiting for their plane, with a slim platinum blonde reading over her shoulder and sitting on her other side.

 _"Theodore, what exactly is the point of filming this 'journey' of ours if you're just going to record your girlfriend breathing?"_

The camera veered away from Hermione to a fierce looking woman with short black hair and attitude to spare.

 _"Jealous, Parkinson?"_ Theo asked tauntingly.

Pansy rolled her eyes dramatically. _"You're insufferable."_

 _"Hermione suffers him just fine,"_ Said the blonde beside Hermione in an airy tone.

A new voice chimed in from out of frame, _"Is that what the kids call sex these days, Luna?"_

Video-Theo snorted. _"Keep your day job, in case the comedy thing doesn't take off."_

Draco sucked in a breath as his cousin stepped into frame with an armload of goodies and two Starbucks cups. _"You're always looking out for me, Theo. When I start doing stand up, I promise to consult Hermione before making any small dick jokes about you."_

 _"Thanks, Mate."_

Regulus set his plentiful spoils on the seat beside Luna and started passing things out. _"We're going by order of importance, so calm your tits, peasants."_ Hermione cracked a grin, but didn't lift her head from her book until Regulus bowed in front of her seat. " _Lady Prince, I do believe you requested a venti peppermint mocha with extra whip and two splenda? I also come bearing chocolate chip biscuits and crisps, if the lady would like to have first choice?"_

 _"Kiss arse,"_ muttered video-Theo from behind the camera.

A growl came from Pansy's direction. _"When did you take Starbucks orders!?"_

 _"I didn't,"_ said Regulus with his back still facing Pansy as he gathered snacks for Hermione and presented them with flair. _"I merely texted the Lady while I was in the queue."_

 _"You didn't text the rest of us!"_ Pansy snapped, causing Regulus to turn around with a raised brow.

 _"Excuse the fuck out of you, Ma'am,"_ he said stiffly. _"Since when are you even nice to me?"_

 _"I'm not. You're ridiculous."_

 _"And you are what you eat,_ " Regulus huffed, rolling his eyes as he returned his attention to a silently giggling Hermione. He dimpled at her. _"I love it when you catch onto things before everyone else, Lady."_

 _"Oh," said Luna slowly. "She's a cunt._ "

Regulus ended up holding Hermione's coffee again with an amused look on his face as she continued to shake silently. When she finally sniffed and wiped her eyes, he kissed her hair. _"Text me if you require anything else, fair lady."_

She blew him a kiss in return, which he returned with a charming grin before he resumed his task of passing out snacks. He presented Theo with an energy drink and a bag of crisps.

" _Cheers, Mate_ ," said Theo. " _I didn't know they had these in Black Cherry._ "

" _No?"_ Regulus replied. " _You poor thing. Been living off the orange ones?_ "

" _Yeah. The others are shite._ "

" _Did you get me_ anything _?"_ Pansy grumbled from out of frame.

" _Shit!_ " Regulus muttered as he tossed a small pack of biscuits in her direction. " _I knew I forgot the Midol._ "

Theo chuckled behind the camera again. " _This trip is gonna be great isn't it?_ "

Someone from behind the camera spoke before anyone could answer Theo. Their tone was professional and low, but the boys managed to make out something about a private jet before the intercom system starting announcing boarding for their gate.

" _Time to go_ ," said Luna cheerfully.

" _Short flight to Paris,_ " said Theo, " _The jet is at the private field waiting for us already."_

Hermione stuffed her snacks and book in her purse and shouldered her other carryon as she stood. Theo still had the camera trained on her until she noticed him and smiled.

" _Ready for paradise, Beautiful?_ " He asked her.

Her smile brightened and the boys recognized the adoration in her eyes all too well.

The screen changed with a smoothness reminiscent of television, this time showing the interior of a luxury jet with the same group lounging around, only Hermione and Regulus weren't in frame.

" _So, explain this to me again_ ," Was the first thing Pansy said. " _I mean, we've all been friends since Durmstrang at the very least, but…what? You three are sleeping together now?_ "

" _Pansy Tactful Parkinson, everybody,_ " Regulus grumbled loudly. " _Shall I draw you a diagram? Well, there's several I could draw, really, it's rather like Twister—_ "

" _Fuck. Off. Regu—_ "

" _We're testing the waters_ ," Theo interrupted in a clipped tone. " _And thanks for waiting for me to get the camera out before starting the inquisition._ "

Pansy gave him a shark-like grin. " _Anytime._ "

" _It's also consensual_ ," Regulus piped up, causing Theo to swivel to camera to the space on the seat beside him. Hermione was sitting next to Theo and Regulus was stretched out along the rest of it with his head in her lap. " _We_ have _known each other since Durmstrang, Pans. And these two are basically one unit. It makes sense to me that they would find dating another person simultaneously an attractive option._ "

" _Case specific_ ," said Theo, earning an upside down grin from Regulus.

" _Yeah, but you?_ " Pansy continued snippily. " _Two for the price of one?_ "

" _Go fuck yourself_ ," Regulus snapped, his harshness not in jest this time.

Hermione frowned and ran her fingers through his hair, ignoring Pansy's raised brow and Theo's sigh. When Regulus seemed to be sufficiently distracted, she threw a glare at Pansy and mimed writing on her hand.

There was a brief moment of shuffling before Theo passed her a pad of paper and pen, then Hermione furiously scribbling while Regulus nuzzled her stomach. She threw the small notepad at Pansy with annoyed force.

Pansy frowned as she read Hermione's note, cringing slightly towards the bottom.

" _Fair point, well made, as always, Granger,_ " Pansy muttered. " _Apologies, Black_."

" _Unnecessary,_ " Regulus mumbled.

Luna chose this time to pipe up. " _I suppose it's probably just as rewarding as it is terrifying for you to try loving two people, Reggie,_ " she mused. " _Double the love, but double the risk for disappointment as well…it's sad that you have to worry about it really. That you have so little experience with pure love like what you have with Hermione and Theo._ "

" _Don't take this the wrong way,_ " Regulus said in a strange tone, " _But there haven't been any admissions of love yet, Phoebe Darling._ "

Luna only smiled at him. " _None of you are ready to say it out loud, of course, but that doesn't make it untrue. It's too new still. You'll get there._ "

Theo panned from focusing on Luna back to Hermione and Regulus, who were flushed and staring at each other.

" _The goddess of the moon and prophecy, everyone,_ " Regulus muttered halfheartedly.

The scene ended with Hermione giving Regulus a small smile, and Blaise quickly reached over to pause it before the next transition. Draco was giving the monitor a dark look and idly pressing the heel of his hand against his breastbone.

"Indigestion," He mumbled when he noticed his boyfriend's raised brow.

"Jealousy," Blaise corrected gently. "He's dead, Dray."

"Yes, but clearly the family tree is just as complementing several branches over," he grumbled.

"Narcissa?" Blaise said pointedly.

Draco winced and his expression turned apologetic in an instant. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," Blaise assured him. "But maybe put the frustration away before we see Theo again. I like to think he'd talk things out with us if he read something he didn't like again, but let's not test that theory quite so soon, yeah?"

A pained groan escaped Draco. "Agreed. It's just… _fuck_ , Blaise, we could have met them at some family gathering. All three of them. Happy as can be. That bothers me," he sighed.

"I know we've just started, but we can take a break?" Blaise suggested.

Draco nodded slowly. "Do you think his mum recorded a lot when he was a wee thing?"

Blaise gave him a small smile. "Let's find out."

It turned out that Theo's mum — a beautiful woman with Theo's blue eyes and a smile brighter than the sun — had filmed every moment of Theo and Hermione's younger years as she'd been able to.

She and Theron had filmed a twenty minute game of hide and seek throughout the upper floors of Nott Manor featuring a waddling bright-eyed, nappy-less Theodore. The chase only ended when Evangeline sighed and announced that Hermione would have to spend the night at her own house, since Theo didn't want to get dressed, and how disappointing that would be. Draco had nearly lost it when Theo had poked his head into the hallway with an inquiring " _Mine?_ "

" _Yes 'Mione, Theo,_ " Evangeline had corrected.

" _No!_ " Theo had shouted. " _Mine!_ "

They'd even found a clip of Hermione's first steps, both of them taking great amusement in the mess of short curls fighting their way out from under her knitted blue beanie as she'd concentrated. She successfully half ran, half stumbled the few feet between herself and Theo, who'd been standing across from Hermione and her mother.

Theo had caught her, both of them giggling, and said, " _You dids it, Mine! You dids it_!"

Hermione's responding cries of " _Bien joué, bien joué!_ " were echoed by her mother and quickly translated to her somewhat bemused father.

They saw piano, singing, and dancing lessons, skimmed through birthday parties that were mostly devoid of other children until the two became school aged, and grinned through moments Evangeline had sneakily filmed when Theo and Hermione had been seemingly on their own. Cuddling on blankets in front of a TV watching Disney films, Theo teaching Hermione how to pay with complicated toys, bruises and bumps being kissed and accented with hugs and words of comfort.

"This is a time capsule," Blaise said as another short clip ended. "Their entire life is in here."

"Look how carefree they were," Draco sighed, frowning. "Twee little rays of sunshine, the both of them. What happened?"

They braved Theo's files once more, watching bits and pieces of some clips, and ignoring others. He hadn't taken as many videos during the late fall and winter of their first semester at Hogwarts, which marked the start of Hermione being mute in videos until late during their second year.

Regulus was an almost constant feature in Theo's recordings after the spring break trip to the tropics during their freshman year. Unfortunately, Theo's experiments with combining his knowledge of the human mind and his sexual skillsets picked up their pace once their relationship with Regulus had settled into a comfortable dynamic.

"I fucking hate this," Blaise muttered, closing yet another video that was clearly on its way to being certifiable porn. "There's probably pieces to the puzzle buried within all this shit too."

Draco hummed in agreement, staring at the video library with the same tired, defeated expression he'd been giving the last few videos that they hadn't finished. " _Siren Song_ sounds harmless," He said quietly. "Though they seem to just barely have her mewling from what we can tell so far. It's fucking scary how quiet she was..."

"Is," Blaise corrected under his breath.

Draco rubbed his eyes forcefully. "Let's just...try to get through a few more and call it quits for the night."

Blaise nodded, opening the file Draco had mentioned before sitting back in his chair heavily once it started loading. Theo was actually in this one, meaning he'd put the camera on one of his tripods, a shorter one since he was sitting on the floor. He and Regulus were each on one side of a partially open door, sitting with their shoulders against the wall. Slowly curling clouds of steam were crossing the threshold, though the sound of the running shower was a muted hum at best.

" _Do you think she'll do it again?_ " Regulus asked quietly.

Theo shrugged. " _If she doesn't I'll just erase the_ —" He cut himself off as quiet vocals carried through the open door.

They both laid their heads against the door frame a moment later, with Theo closing his eyes in rapture and Regulus letting out a quiet, contented sigh.

" _I hate that I forget how beautiful she sounds,_ " Regulus murmured.

"She's healing..." Said Theo. "If this isn't proof of that, nothing is...we just have to be patient..."

Regulus merely sighed in response and the two sat in silence for several minutes as Hermione went through a few songs neither Draco nor Blaise recognized.

When the sound of Hermione turning off the shower reached them, Theo jumped up quickly and moved towards the camera, putting himself out of frame.

" _What!?"_ Regulus hissed.

" _When she's ready for us to hear, she'll make sure we_ can," Theo answered quietly. " _Until she indicates otherwise, don't let her know that you've heard her, even if the situation makes it seem obvious that you did._ "

The clip ended right after Regulus' begrudging promise to follow Theo's example.

"Jesus," Draco muttered. "I mean…I've heard her sing before obviously but…I had no idea she could sing like _that_."

Blaise's expression was glum. "Do we even know them at all?"

Draco frowned deeply, not at all liking the trains of thought the bitter voices in the back of his mind had boarded, and chose not to answer. Instead, he drew in a breath to steady himself and started sifting through the files again, quickly finding one filmed just a few weeks after the clip they'd just watched.

This time Theo's camera was aimed at a football field covered in green and red jerseys. He glanced up at the scoreboard with a low whistle. The game was tied four to four with only thirty-eight seconds on the clock. The crowd behind Theo was chanting and stomping just as vigorously as the sea of crimson on the other side of the stands.

" _Damn, this is a close one,_ " Theo said loudly as he panned back to the field.

Pansy's voice came from behind Theo, and thus out of frame, when she added, " _I put a hundred quid on this game, Nott, so when we lose and your boyfriend comes home with some blue to his black you know why!"_

There was a pause in their conversation as the game started up again. Theo zoomed in slightly on the custody battle for the white and black ball in the center of the field and followed the green player that managed to break free with it at the fifteen second mark.

" _Reggie, you got it! Go, Baby, go!"_ Theo cried. Behind him, the crowd started counting down.

The red side of the field was overrun with green players making complicated, teasing passes back and forth across the center in an effort to line up a shot. At some point in the chaos, just as the crowd shouted _Four!_ the ball came back to Regulus and Theo started cheering again.

One moment the ball was still on the ground and the next it had smashed into the top of the farthest corner. Theo's cheers were drowned out by the roar of the crowd behind him until he started moving out of the stands.

" _We'll be waiting for him in the atrium, Pans!_ " Was the first coherent thing they heard him say as the noise of the crowds slowly faded. " _Bloody hell, Hermione, can you believe the git did it?"_ There was a pause in which she, disappointingly, said nothing. " _I know. I'm happy for him too. It's games like these that make me wish the team didn't always go out after the games to celebrate._ "

Theo, with Hermione presumably behind him, walked a short grass path until he entered an impressively large and grand building with massive, elegantly decorated halls. There were banners in four colors strewn about the walls, with suits of armor every few archways, sometimes adorned with a color and sometimes only in their plain silver. The hallway opened up to what Draco and Blaise assumed was the atrium Theo had spoken of, which was mostly void of people, but those that were present were in sharp uniforms. Once again, it seemed everything, and everyone, was wearing one of the four ever-present colors.

Theo must have edited out a chunk of time, and done so very smoothly, because moments after he'd sat down on a bench with Hermione, one of the many doors lining the atrium walls opened to permit a freshly showered Regulus and a few of his teammates. Hermione launched herself off the bench and into frame with one violent thrust forward, sprinting across the large room towards a grinning Regulus and causing that grin to falter when her scratchy, neglected voice called his name.

" _Regulus, you've done it! You've done it!_ " she cried as she threw herself into his waiting, but now stunned, arms. " _Je suis si fière de toi!_ "

Regulus blinked and, while pulling Hermione as close as it seemed humanly possible, glanced in Theo's direction with wide eyes that asked _What do I do?_ Theo stood slowly with his camera and walked closer, but still didn't say a word.

" _Merci, ma chérie_ ," Regulus murmured absently. "Merci. _"_

He was still looking to Theo for direction, but Theo only said, " _That was a hell of a goal, love._ "

" _My good luck charms were in the stands_ ," Regulus threw back, still holding Hermione tightly. None of them commented on the fact that she had neither let him go nor spoken again since reaching him. Regulus did, however, press his lips to her cheek and say, " _I love you._ "

She said something that was muffled by her position against him, but Regulus smiled. " _You have no idea how happy I am that mother forced me to learn French,_ " he said quietly, but once again his smile faltered. " _You talked…_ "

" _She did_ ," Theo said softly. " _But we can't just assume her voice is back permanently. That's unrealistic and she shouldn't put that sort of pressure on herself_."

Regulus nodded in agreement. " _Take your time, sweet girl_ ," he said. " _Fuck the game. Hearing you again was the highlight of today._ You're _the MVP._ "

" _Oi, Black!"_ One of the other players called from several feet away where they'd all started heading out of the atrium. " _You coming or not, mate?!"_

 _"Not_ ," Regulus called back. " _Take a shot for me, Avery, but I'm celebrating at home tonight."_

 _"Suit yourself!"_

Hermione pulled back with a noise of protest but no words and Regulus kissed her soundly. " _I go with them after every game,_ " he said. " _I scored the winning goal. I can celebrate however I want and I want you two._ "

" _I did the sheets this morning and we went to the grocers while you were in class,_ " Theo chimed. " _We can feed the sports star and crack open something from the liquor cabinet._ "

Regulus grinned at him. " _Excellent. I've got runner's high to burn off. Let's go see about dirtying some laundry."_

Theo snorted, but Hermione simply gave a timid smile and glanced between the two.

" _I'd like that_ ," She said quietly.

Regulus looked down at Hermione with tender pride before sending a smirk in Theo's direction.

" _You heard the lady."_

" _That I did_ ," Theo said with a smile in his tone. " _That I did."_

They skipped ahead, trying to find evidence of the abuses Theo and Hermione had to have suffered in Regulus's last months of life, but by the time they got to a folder labled _The Last Summer_ , Draco and Blaise were as nauseated as they were confused.

It didn't make sense. The trio had been disgustingly — _jealously-inducingly_ — perfect together. They learned that Theo and Hermione had gotten into Hogwarts two years early, which was how they ended up in Regulus' year. They'd known each other since secondary, where Regulus had been two levels above them, but filled a sort of mentor-like role for his younger companions. Granted, this influence was rarely seen, given his youthful and playful nature, but there were subtle moments where Theo would let Regulus care for him of him in ways Draco and Blaise had never dared to attempt.

Regulus had been allowed to throw Theo's textbooks to the side and pull him in for a cuddle when he was overworking himself. Regulus had been allowed to be the big spoon, to lead, to let Theo surrender control in small ways that showed Theo trusted him. Regulus had been allowed to take care of Theo, whereas the Theo they knew rarely let his walls down that far, and certainly not in such a way that invited anyone save for Hermione to acknowledge his discord.

Regulus followed Theo's lead when it came to helping Hermione get her voice back. He helped Theo fine tune his research, provided a soundboard for Theo's theories, and suggested ways to test said theories. And Theo, in turn, practiced reading Regulus' sports rivals and relayed his findings for Regulus to exploit.

None of this would have bothered Draco and Blaise if they hadn't made the mistake of, admittedly, tormenting themselves by dipping back into their years at secondary.

Even without checking the dates, they could tell when Theo's mother had passed by the detached, faraway look in his eyes when he forgot someone else had manned his camera, usually Hermione or Regulus, and had focused on him. Or by the defensive, protective nature in which Hermione stuck to his side. The way she glared at certain people with a warning clear in her eyes, people who had to have been bullies in years prior. Bullies who were more afraid of Hermione than they were eager to prey on Theo's moments of weakness.

Regulus, Pansy, and several new faces were present in these videos. People Theo and Hermione had never spoken of who had clearly been friends with the two, met with them for free periods, and came to Theo or Hermione's house for video games and study sessions were consistent motifs. Teenagers who gave each other hell, teased each other about different sexualities, cuddling partners, and current conquests. Kids who were so comfortable with one another that even the harshest of remarks never truly hit their mark.

But they did paint a picture for Draco and Blaise. A picture that made Draco's hands shake when the last swipe of the brush had been made. A picture that stoked the flames of Blaise's frustration towards Regulus.

Because as of Regulus' last year at Durmstrang, he had been exclusively homosexual and Theodore the opposite.

"Regulus Black dodged a bullet by dying when he did. I'm that bullet," Blaise grumbled as they roamed the many halls of The Flat. They'd agreed, after their discomforting realization, that a legitimate break was in order before _they_ broke. Or broke something. Blaise even briefly allowed himself to entertain the fantasy of taking a sledge hammer to Regulus' gravestone. Briefly, but thoroughly. "It's no fucking wonder Theo freaked out on us the way he did."

"I would have," Draco agreed, his voice thick either with anger or his still present nausea, but most likely a combination of the two. "I almost don't even want to see videos from the months where everything turned sour, but I don't want to make Theo relive it by having him tell us either."

Blaise sighed and made a noise of agreement. "Three trust fund kids fall in love. They get married, have babies, and live happily ever after. That's what would have happened," he said darkly. "They were healing. They were good for each other. _What_ would make him give that up, give _them_ up? I mean, _fuck_ , this entire situation is trying on my patience, but I'm not going to up and walk out on them just because they were dealt a shit hand to go along with their silver spoons."

Draco nodded as they rounded a corner and started, begrudgingly, heading back to the office. "I just want them to be happy," he said. "I don't want them to be afraid to love us back. I don't want them to constantly second guess that I love them or be afraid that one day I'll wake up and hate them."

Blaise sighed again. "We need to actually go through that _Last Summer_ folder. I don't think Theo would have titled it that _just_ because it was their last official holiday before their final year."

"Regulus' last summer alive," Draco muttered. "He died in late spring, I think. Or that's when the funeral was or something. I remember mum fussing about whether she should wear a spring funeral dress or a summer one." Blaise gave him a look that made Draco shrug. "Yes, she was more concerned about being dressed properly than she was upset about her cousin's tragic passing. At least Theo seems to know I'm avoiding that meeting because I'm ashamed of _her_ and not _them_."

"She's a piece of work," Blaise agreed neutrally. "I think she'd set Theo off immediately and she'd have a stroke before she could regret opening her mouth."

Draco snorted. "She has to know who they are right? Hermione's apparently got a close business relationship with Father…"

Blaise gave Draco a look. "Do you really think Lucius would warn her in advance instead of letting her think it was just a coincidence that Daphne and Astoria met a Hermione? Daphne had to have reported back to your mother."

Draco tried very hard not to smile. "Fair point…although I hate to think mother would be so dense, but it wouldn't surprise me. Daphne didn't seem to recognize Hermione though. Looked like she was going to piss herself when Theo said his last name, though."

Blaise shook his head and threw his arm around Draco's shoulders, pulling him near as they continued their trek down the hall. "I still don't understand how Regulus just fucked off and left them."

Neither did Draco.

They were surprised to find Theo sitting on the floor outside the office when they finally reached the office again. He had a slightly battered shoebox at his side and looked as if he'd aged years in the hours since they'd seen him last.

"Dad offered to take Hermione to the cemetery," He said before they could ask about her. "She needs to see—" He cut himself off, swallowed, and tried again, "She needs to face a few demons." He gestured towards the office as he stood, picking up the shoebox as he did so. "I'm not naïve enough to assume questions haven't arisen since I left…"

Draco and Blaise shared a glance as they entered the room ahead of him at took their previously vacated seats. Theo took the office chair from Hermione's side and pulled it into the middle of the room before he sat down, the shoebox coming to rest in his lap.

"We haven't gotten past the honeymoon phase," Blaise said, a bit more bitterly than he'd meant to, but aside from looking a little guilty, Theo didn't seem fazed.

Draco's mouth turned up into a bittersweet half-smile as he asked, "Is _Mine_ okay?"

Theo's cheeks reddened and he grinned for a moment, memories clearly playing behind his eyes as he said, "Now you know why I pronounce 'Mione _mine-ey_. Why I still call her that, too, I suppose."

"You were a cute little shit," Draco said, his smile widening a fraction. "Not sure what happened."

"Oh, piss off," Theo threw back easily.

"One question on that front," said Blaise, and when Theo didn't protest, he continued with, "Your hair. It's straight. It's been curly, granted not _Hermione_ -level curly, but still curly in ever video we've seen."

"It suits you better, too," Draco added under his breath.

Naturally, Theo caught it and smirked at him, though it faded as he answered. "When we were growing up, Hermione's mum taught my mum how to handle my hair. Lots of conditioner, what to style it with, a hot oil treatment once and a while wouldn't hurt, nor would a deep condition," he explained. "For a while, it was actually a bonding thing. Every fortnight or so we'd go to the salon with our mums. The oils they'd put in 'Mione's hair would make her smell sweet for days. I loved it." He paused, briefly toying with a worn corner of the shoebox. "She usually helped me with it. I washed, she styled, braided, whatever. I didn't have to think about it, I just brushed her hair for her before she'd tackle her own. I've gotten Brazillian blow outs since she left though, and trained my hair to lay straight unless I style it otherwise."

Blaise mulled over his answer, nodding in understanding, and glanced at Draco to see if he had any other concerns.

"I know Hermione's fluent in French," Draco said after a moment. "And apparently so were you growing up, since you never had a problem understanding her, but how come she used English so sparsely? Everyone around her spoke English."

Theo chuckled quietly. "And you think I'm stubborn," he said. "I asked her about it once actually. She was so adamant about using French when she finally learned to speak. I didn't mind it. We grew up together, learned French from her mother together, so yeah, I understood her perfectly. Apparently she 'didn't like the way English felt on her tongue' so she spoke French almost exclusively until she was…five? I think?" He grinned again. "Her dad, David, wasn't fluent. He knew a little from being around her mum, and her, and Hermione _knew_ that, but she refused to switch to English for his sake. I think it was a game for a while. When she did start using English more, he was the last to find out about it."

Blaise snorted, "Brat."

"She certainly could be," Theo agreed, still smiling. "She was a vicious, particular little thing."

"We found the video of you two at the park. The one you told us about," Draco said, though he left off the fact that Theo had only been telling them half-truths when he'd first discussed it. "You didn't tell us she threw a rock and hit him in the jewels with it."

Theo blinked in surprise. "She did? That must have been when I wasn't looking. Jean, 'Mione's mum, was making sure I hadn't damaged my teeth by biting that little prick. I guess that's what Dad gave her a fiver for?"

They nodded the affirmative and told him, yes, a much younger Theron had poorly hidden his mirth and slipped Hermione enough money to get herself and Theo treats from the snack stand nearby, and that he'd relayed the story to Hermione's parents once she and Theo had run off.

"That's my girl," was all Theo said on the matter. "Nothing else, then?"

"What's in the box?" Blaise asked.

The mirth in Theo's eyes flickered out. "Back to business then…" he muttered. "It's full of letters."

"Letters?" Draco repeated slowly.

"They won't make much sense until you see some instances of Regulus acting…not like himself, but all of these are between him and his mother," Theo explained, the last two words spat out with enough venom to warrant raised brows. "Walburga Black ruined my life," he muttered. "And Hermione's. More Hermione's than mine, but—"

"You two are all but the same entity," Blaise interrupted. "If she caused suffering for one of you, she caused suffering for both of you."

"Right," Theo said absently, toying with the edge of the box again. "It's not just about Regulus," he said finally, the words coming out in such a way that they knew he was struggling to explain himself. "If you know now, before understanding the rest, you won't be able to get through the rest…just…trust that I wouldn't be asking you to go through things in order if it wasn't important. Even if it's tedious or," he glanced at Blaise, "Very frustrating."

"We do," said Draco. "Trust you, I mean. Whatever it takes to make it so we can help you two move on, Theo. That's all I care about."

Blaise was chewing on the inside of his cheek, frowning, when Theo gave him a worried frown. "My agreement should be implied by now," he said distractedly, then his frown deepened. "Theo, what's wrong with Hermione?"

Theo covered his panic a fraction of a second too late, and spared them all by pretending he hadn't slipped up. "She's beating herself up over something I thought she'd realized wasn't her fault."

"And that would be…" Blaise urged gently.

"Out of order," Theo muttered. He stood, put the box of letters on the edge of the desk, near the monitor, and crouched between the two to sort through the files. He got to a folder labeled _Talking to Myself_ , minimized it, opened a new window, and put them back at _The Last Summer_. "If you're sick of seeing us happy together, this is the wrong folder to explore in. The first video in here is the three of us driving here. The time Hermione and I were talking about in the car."

"When she fed you chicken nuggets because you were driving like a lunatic," Draco clarified.

"Yes," said Theo. "Things went south slowly…But the January of out last year at Hogwarts was really where lines started being drawn in the sand…" He clicked a few times, bringing them to a small cluster of folders within a folder titled _The Storm Before the Storm_ before he moved back to his seat in the middle of the room.

He swallowed hard. "Our anniversary was January fourth," he said. "As a group, I mean. We did something special every year, and that year, we'd planned it weeks in advance…"

Blaise noticed that Theo's knuckles were white where his hands gripped the armrests.

"He knew we had reservations, and theater tickets, and gifts to exchange. Things had been a bit rough by that point. He was moody often, but always came back an apologized for it later. He was going out with his friends more often, which was fine, except he came home later every time. Always a little bit off, a little bit defense if we asked how his night went." Theo shut his eyes. "I should have seen it, I _did_ see it, I just didn't want to so my brain put on the blinders and I saw _through_ everything instead…We had an apartment by the school, the one I told you about, the one Dad bought for 'Mione and me. He lived with us most of the time we were together."

Theo put his head in his hands and tugged at his hair, the rest of his words angled towards his lap. "He had a class just after lunch, so he got home during the midafternoon three days a week. He got home a little late that day. Came in full of anxious energy. Bustled about, changed his clothes, was barely acknowledging Hermione when she was trying to tell him something. Told us he was going out with the boys, not to wait up, and that he'd see us later. He was out the door before Hermione could get a word in and I was still digesting the fact that he implied he'd be home late."

"What the fuck?" Blaise seethed, but Theo cut him off before his temper could ignite any further.

"We pulled back after that, you know. Stopped reaching out. I figured if he wanted our time he'd ask for it. He never did, we never asked for his, and we lived with a stranger until he left…" Theo told them in a rush. "We were miserable but relieved when he left, especially since—" Theo cut himself off again and threw them an apologetic look. "For a lot of reasons. When Sirius called us and told us he'd been found dead, the guilt set in…but only until everything in his will got sorted out…" He drew in a pained breath. "He managed to make it so his inheritance would come to us. I don't know exactly how, but he found some loophole that would prevent his mother from doing anything else with their money in the event that his parents died. His brother was disowned when we were still in Durmstrang. Walburga already made sure it couldn't go to him."

"But he left you," Draco said, deeply confused. "He threw you two aside like garbage, from what it sounds like. From the way you two _act_."

Theo winced and shifted so his chin was resting in one palm. "He did," he agreed quietly. "Very thoroughly, I might add. Yes, Blaise, I know the way he treated us was emotionally abusive. _Yes_ , he did it with intent, but _not without remorse_."

"So because he's _sorry_ , that makes it okay?!" Blaise said, his voice rising. " _Theodore—_ "

"That isn't what I'm saying!" Theo shouted, then closed his eyes again briefly and checked himself. "That's not what happened. He went about it the _wrong way_ , I _know_ that. Hermione _knows_ that. I'm not _excusing_ his behavior, but I'm trying to tell you that _it wasn't his fault_. Not entirely. He made a bad choice in a shitty situation that was bigger than him, more complicated than he could handle alone, but he tried anyway."

"It's in the letters," he muttered quietly, begging Blaise with his eyes. "Maybe if he'd talked to us, it wouldn't have gone that way, and the resulting dominos wouldn't have fallen either, but it _did_. I _hate_ it! I hate that I _saw_ it and didn't _say anything_ before he got so caught up in getting blown out of his mind, so caught up in trying to _escape Walburga_ , that it was too late to save him. I wish that I was a decent enough person that part of me is _glad_ I didn't save him because that vile woman would have been an issue until she died!" His knuckles were white again and the tremor in his voice was starting to worry Draco and Blaise equally. "If Regulus hadn't died, our last semester wouldn't have been a shit storm. If Regulus hadn't died, _Hermione_ wouldn't have been a mess. If _Regulus hadn't died_ , then _maybe_ we wouldn't have forgotten about her—" Theo snapped his mouth shut so hard his teeth snapped loudly and screwed his eyes shut so tightly Draco worried the stress would give him a sty.

"Forgotten about her what?" Blaise asked, his voice barely audible.

"I can't," Theo whispered, and stood quickly in spite of his worrisome shakiness. "The letters might help you understand why we took flowers to his grave once a week, why we were able to forgive him to an extent. Why I wish we'd never run into Walburga Black that day at the cemetery and why I wish she was _dead_ ," he continued. "But that folder I pulled up for you…that's why Hermione's silent again. _That's_ the extra bit of awful that made everything so much worse than it already was. That's why Hermione had to leave…"

"That's why you're afraid," Blaise murmured.

Theo's eyes were a touch too shiny as he said, "Everyone we love dies."

Theo escaped to the lower levels of the house with zero resistance from Draco and Blaise, the former of whom was chewing on a very unsettling thought that he dared not share for fear of being correct.

The split their tasks. Blaise skimmed through the letters and Draco plugged in a pair of earbuds so he could tackle the videos.

The sun was starting its decent in the sky when Draco made a sudden noise of distress and violently ripped his headphones out of his ears. Blaise shot to his feet, following Draco's shaking, hysterical trip to the far side of the room until he hit the wall. Blaise only just wrapping his arms around him in time to keep Draco from sagging to the floor.

"I hate being right! _I hate being right!_ " He screamed into Blaise shoulder.

"You're scaring me," Blaise told him gently. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Draco pulled away and gestured helplessly in the direction of the computer with a miserable sound that clearly hadn't been an attempt at speech. Blaise hesitated until Draco glowered at him, then crossed the room with no small amount of trepidation and sat in front of the blank screen. The clip wasn't even four minutes long. His hands were shaking as he unplugged Draco's headphones and restarted the video.

He was certain his heart had stopped as Hermione filled the screen, sleepy and glowing atop a mess of sheets with a smile on her face and a ring on her left hand.

The same hand resting on her swollen stomach.

" _Good morning, Teddy,_ " Theo's voice cooed from behind the camera. " _Doesn't Mummy look positively radiant this morning?_ "

" _Mummy looks like a whale,_ " Hermione murmured halfheartedly.

" _Orcas are beautiful and dangerous creatures, Teddy, remember that."_

 _"And Daddy is ridiculous,"_ Hermione added, but she still sent a warm, lazy smile in Theo's direction.

They continued to banter, but Blaise couldn't hear them over blood rushing through his ears. And when the screen finally went black again, he turned, slowly, to a still shaking, furiously, miserably distraught Draco still leaning against the wall.

"Twelve, H, T, fourteen, Nott, six and a half," he spat through clenched teeth. "Hermione and Teddy Nott. December fourteenth. Six and a half months."

 _"_ Everyone the love dies," Blaise echoed numbly.

Draco's already clenched fists tightened at his sides. "She lost the baby."

Blaise's eyes began to burn. "They lost their _son_."

 **So how was everyone's weekends?**


	9. If You Can't Take The Heat

**Part IX**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 **TWs: Mentions of: miscarriage, stillbirth, death, trauma, drug addicts, addictions, & drugs (Also, very bad jokes)**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.]_

Theo was in the kitchen when Draco stomped down the stairs several paces ahead of Blaise, who was still too numb to match Draco's burning fury. The noise startled Theo out of a daydream, or whatever void he'd been blankly staring into, and caused him to whip around with panic in his eyes. Panic that quickly shifted to worry when he saw Draco advancing towards the island Theo was on the other side of.

" _What happened?!_ " Draco demanded, his raw voice cracking in his distress. "Why is he _gone?_ She was so far along! And where the _bloody fuck_ is her engagement ring?!"

Theo seemed utterly lost in the face of Draco's frustration and glanced at Blaise as if he could somehow explain why Theo's expectations for this scenario weren't lining up.

Blaise was still sorting through the pieces clicking together in his mind andwas starting to feel a growing sense of dread as the bigger picture came into view.

"I've got the ring," Theo said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and inadvertently drawing their attention to the chain he'd been wearing around his neck since their almost break up. "I wouldn't let her take it when she left. I was afraid that if she found happiness, found someone else who wasn't a constant reminder of our dysfunction and pain, that she'd feel obligated to stay loyal to me. It's not that we broke it off officially or anything, but we cancelled a few of the reservations we'd made when Pansy was helping us start planning the..."

"The wedding," Draco ground out. " _Your_ wedding."

Theo leaned back against the counter as Draco seated himself at the island properly, still furious on Theodore and Hermione's behalf, but calm enough to listen. Blaise leaned against the breakfast bar instead of taking the stool next to Draco in an attempt to keep Theo from feeling crowded, from feeling like he needed to be on the defensive more than he already was.

"It's not like we stopped talking to each other," Theo said lowly. "Even if all we did was send a 'Are you okay?' text once a day, we stayed in touch. I knew about you two long before you knew about me. I knew you both, to an extent, long before we met in person. She wanted me to meet you both _long_ before I ever agreed to it."

"Unsurprising," Draco snapped. "Also unimportant. If you're expecting me to be jealous or angry at her for falling in love with us while she was still in love with you, you don't know me as well as you think you do."

"You're a unit," Blaise added, his tone much more gentle. "So are Draco and I, just not on the same level. Our history doesn't run as deep as yours does with Hermione. That doesn't mean we don't understand."

Theo was looking at them like they were an equation that just wasn't adding up correctly, but he only paused briefly before he said, "I just don't want you to think that it changes anything...Like we're eager to make things imbalanced or deepen the lines in the sand...We're all just one thing, regardless of the relationships within."

"That doesn't mean we pretend those relationships don't exist," said Blaise. "They're just as much a part of us as we all are together. We've _accepted_ that you're close to Hermione in a way we _can't_ be and vice versa." He frowned as Theo's lost and confused expression returned. "That's not what's important right now, Theo, and it's not a _problem_ for us under normal circumstances either. She can put the damn thing back on for all I care. You two have basically been married since you were toddlers anyway."

"I wanna see it," Draco muttered, a pout not quite in his tone but on the verge of being there. "The lighting in the video just glared off the diamond. Where is it?"

Theo still had a hand on the back of his neck, and used one of his fingers to tap the thin chain around his throat. "I stopped wearing it when we met, just for the sake of pretending things were normal. So we could keep pretending our life with you and our life before you were separate world. Untouching universes. It worked most of the time..." He hesitated a beat before reaching up with his other hand to undo the clasp on the chain, and after refastening it once it was off his person, he leaned forward and gently set it on the island.

Draco snatched it off the counter top and held it near his face to inspect with the critical, materialistic eye he'd inherited from his mother. His expression turned sour almost instantly and he fixed Theodore with a glower.

"Really?" He demanded. " _Really?!"_

Theo, for the first time all day, actually seemed like himself as he stared Draco down, refusing to appease Draco by showing even the slightest hints of remorse. He had none, after all.

Blaise sighed. "What'd he do, Narcissa junior?"

Draco glared at Blaise too, but held out his hand. "Look at it."

Blaise took the chain and the ring attached, not sure just what he was looking for that would have Narccissa II so offended. The ring was beautiful, elegant, but clearly spoke of a hefty price tag. The band itself was encrusted with smaller diamonds, with the center stone held by two the slightly curved tendril-like ends of the main band. Two strips of solid metal curved towards the stone as well, offering additional support. The inner rim was engraved with ' _Ohana means family_ ' in a simple, crisp cursive script.

Blaise raised an eyebrow at Draco. "I'm not seeing it. What did he do?"

"It's meant to be a _knot,_ " said Draco petulantly.

Blaise looked at the ring again. He could see what Draco was talking about, but still...

Draco sighed dramatically. "Theodore _Nott_ gave her a ring shaped like a bloody _knot_."

Blaise glanced at a wholly unrepentant Theodore for verification and tried to suppress the smirk tugging at his lips. "You piece of shite."

Theo only shrugged and reached out a hand, putting the chain back around his neck once Blaise passed it back to him, only he didn't bother tucking it under his shirt. "I regret nothing," he announced. "You've been in the archive. Surely you've stumbled across my fixation with tying her up."

"Do you sit down before you think to do literally anything and come up with the most _obnoxious_ way to go about it?" Draco asked.

"Sometimes."

Blaise hated to bring them back on topic, especially when it was such a difficult topic, but he still said, "I haven't told Draco about what was in the letters yet. We went the divide and conquer route." He paused, frowning. "Stop me if I get something wrong?"

Theo nodded, but started to busy himself with making them each a glass of ice water and pulling out ingredients to make dinner with while Blaise talked.

"Your last year at Hogwarts started fine," he began, continuing when Theo nodded again. "Walburga sends Regulus a letter a few weeks into term. It's all horseshit about how proud she of him for everything he's accomplished, but that he needs to start thinking about honoring the family _properly_." The words tasted bitter on his tongue as he, not for the first time, questioned Walburga Black's mental health. "Apparently she had _tolerated_ his _experimenting_ long enough and considered it high time he found himself an acceptable wife. Hermione was acceptable, considering her lineage, but marrying a man, or both of you, was out of the question."

Draco looked ill. "My Mum's a right bitch when she wants to be, don't get my wrong, but once she realizes that the three of you make me _happy_?" He shook his head. "That's the end of it. She won't agree with it, or like it, but she'll sip her tea and turn the other way."

"Walburga wanted Regulus to either leave both of us or 'steal' Hermione from me," Theo said, his voice low and empty. "And she preferred that he marry Hermione given her since that would make the Blacks the most influential of the old families."

Draco frowned and glared at the counter top. "Explain to me why this story ends with a dead drug addict and a late term miscarriage instead of wedding bells and a little boy with two dads."

Theo winced and paused a moment before he continued filling a pot with water. "She wouldn't have gotten pregnant if Regulus hadn't gone on a downward spiral. We missed two of her appointments for her shot and little did we know, her OBGYN's office was such a disorganized cluster fuck that they never called us. Not for an appointment reminder. Not to reschedule. Not a fucking word. She had one appointment there to verify that she _was_ actually pregnant and hadn't just skipped two periods from stress or something. I was unimpressed with the staff. She had her first appointment with her _new_ OBG the next day. Lovely, practical woman, that Poppy Pomfrey. She also recommended 'Mione's OBG in London when she moved. She would have delivered Teddy. Helped us a lot in the aftermath of losing him too."

"Details," Draco muttered, but Blaise shot him a look. A look that said _Let him babble, he's anxious, but at least he's talking to us._ Draco shrugged apologetically.

"I think what Draco is _trying_ to say," Blaise amended, "Is why didn't Regulus just tell her to fuck off? I believe you've had this conversation with Draco over Narcissa...It's not you and Hermione are poor."

Draco sighed quietly. "Pride, Blaise," He muttered. "Pride."

Theo was fiddling with the stove top, and thus not facing them, but he nodded all the same. "He thought he could bring her around, and when he couldn't, the pressure got to him. He didn't want to leave but he also didn't want to try and split me and Hermione. Add in the stress of our final year, his sports shit, trying to have a social life, and a relationship, and you get a boy who started with a few shots and a joint and worked his way up to coke and ecstasy."

"God," Blaise murmured. "But he left you the letters...he left _apology_ letters."

Theo shrugged and seemed content to watch while the water warmed up. "You'll notice that there isn't a single one addressed to Hermione," He said quietly. "He mentions her a few times, but only to tell me he didn't know what he could say that would make his absence easier to cope with. Granted, I don't think he was expecting to die when he wrote those, only that he wouldn't be with us anymore. I think leaving me the safety deposit box was little more than a precaution."

"That ended up being needed," said Draco.

Theo moved towards the panty, likely in search of pasta to put in the soon to be boiling water, with little more than a stiff, "Yep."

"And Teddy?" Blaise chimed gently. "What happened?"

Theo shrugged again and continued to focus on making pasta. "We don't have a definitive answer," He said after a moment. "But I will blame Walburga Black until the day I die."

"What did she do?" Draco prompted, managing quell his rage for the time being.

Theo leaned against the island, shoulder hunched and eyes focused on the stovetop. "We had the misfortune of running into her as we were on our way to visit Reggie's grave. She was just leaving," he said. "We were doing good until then. Teddy was going to be our one bright spot in the aftermath of Shitstorm Regulus. We'd been trying to decide if we were going to have the wedding while she was still pregnant or wait until Teddy was a toddler so he could be in it...Hermione hadn't been showing yet at the funeral and aside from a few select people — Dad, Pans, Luna, 'Mione's cousin Severus, and my favorite professor, Remus — so naturally, the bitch pounced. Started spewing a bunch of bullshit about how it was our fault her son was dead, how Hermione's being a whore is what killed him, how she broke his heart and drove him to madness—"

"Excuse me?" Blaise interrupted. "Did the bitch conveniently forget the letters where she told her son that being gay was a symptom of his _immaturity_ and how it was time for him to be a man?"

"Apparently," said Theo. "Still. Hermione. Pregnant. Grieving. Hormones. Mood swings. Convinced herself that there was blame resting on her shoulders. She started getting sick, just colds and little shit her system was too stressed to fight off with any sort of efficiency. Advil isn't safe for pregnancies, especially during the third trimester, but Tylenol is generally okay. We didn't use much, but we had to keep her fever under control...Poppy was really great about coming by here and checking on her instead of making us come into the office. We paid her for it, of course, but still. She never seemed put out by it." Theo stopped to add noodles to the steadily boiling water, taking his time as he did so, and turned the burner down to a lower heat before he continued. "He'd been okay when Poppy had left that afternoon. He'd been wiggling around, heartbeat was fine...but Poppy had put 'Mione on a low dose, pregnancy safe, sleep aid. She wasn't getting enough sleep to fight off what was in her system. It was helping..."

Draco and Blaise made no indication that they saw on of Theo's hands come up to his face. Or that they'd seen him wipe that same hand on his pants afterwards.

"Usually," He continued, his voice strained, "If the baby isn't moving around like normal, it's just a blood sugar thing. Have a bit of juice or some chocolate and wait a little bit. Kid'll perk up again. So when we got up and she said he wasn't wriggling about yet, we didn't think much of it. She ate some fruit and drank some juice. I made waffles. We waited."

Draco made a small keening noise but bit his tongue. "Nope," He managed to say when Theo started to turn around. "Ignore me. I'm fine."

Theo crossed his arms, rubbing his biceps as he resumed staring at the softening pasta, and sighed. "He didn't get more active, if you hadn't deduced that on your own..." He muttered. "We got in the car. I called Poppy on the way to the ER. Hermione screamed at the Doctor when he asked us if she'd had anything to eat recently. They guy got pretty pissy, but Poppy showed up. Between her and Hermione, the guy fucked off and let Poppy take over. Teddy's heart wasn't beating. Just stopped at some point in the night. Probably a combination of a high stress pregnancy and back to back illnesses. Maybe it was a freak reaction to the Tylenol. We don't know. All I know is that no matter what anyone told her, Hermione blamed — _blames —_ herself."

"Which is why she lost her voice again," Draco all but whimpered. " _God damn it_."

"Theo..." Blaise asked, hesitating and on the edge of remembering something he'd read or seen on TV at some point. "How did they get him _out_?"

Theo turned off the burner, the knob snapping as it switched back into place. "You know how babies are born," was all he said.

" _Living_ babies," Draco protested.

Theo, finally, turned around and his eyes were full of a sort of low burning fire that spoke of bitter acceptance and pain. Flames close to death that were still hot enough to burn, but not bright enough to light a room. "They induce labor," he said stonily. "And the very much aware mother gives birth to a child who, in our case, had died at some point while we were both asleep. Had been dead too long to save. The end."

"Theo," Blaise whispered.

"Her due date was Valentine's Day," Theo growled, his teeth clenched shut tightly in a futile attempt to contain his brimming tears. "A son for Valentine's, can you think of a better gift from your fiancé? A gift _stolen_ from you by a delusional, self-righteous _cunt_ who also happened to be the driving force behind your ex-boyfriend accidentally killing himself. But don't forget the cherry on top! Regulus died in May, Hermione got pregnant in June, we graduated in June, ran into Walburga in November, lost Teddy in December, and Hermione was gone by April Fool's. _Less. Than. A. Year._ That's how long it took for our entire _life_ to come crashing down."

" _Theo_ ," Blaise stressed again.

"And the worst part? It's not over," Theo continued, ignoring him. "Because Hermione and I gave into the fantasy of pretending our past didn't exist and trying with you two. Two people who we could ensure wouldn't find out anything we didn't want them to until we wanted them to. And neither of us stopped to think about the fact that _you may not like who we are_ once you knew the truth. Or that our baggage would wear you down over time and you'd _leave_ , just like _everyone else_ we've been stupid enough to love!"

"News flash, sweetheart," Blaise snapped, " _We love you too_. This isn't a one-way street, Theodore. And just because your side of the road has more traffic doesn't mean I'm going to take another route."

" _Maybe you should_ ," Theo growled. "It would save you a hell of a lot of bother and a shiteload of time."

"You're assuming I'd consider it an inconvenience," Blaise argued. "You're assuming I'd be annoyed by choosing the route I'm on knowing full well — or at least having a general idea of — what I'm getting into."

"Because _that's_ _what we are,_ Blaise!"

" _Bullshite!_ "

"What did he say?" Draco interrupted, distracting the other two from their quickly escalating argument. "What did Regulus — or whoever — say to make you so convinced that you and Hermione are a _problem_ , that you aren't worth _the trouble?"_

A light came on in Blaise's mind, causing him to round on Theodore once again. "He didn't just up and walk out, did he?" He demanded. "Because he was a _Black_ and they don't do anything by halves."

"It doesn't matter," Theo protested, but the defensive shift in his posture said otherwise.

"He quoted that fucking bitch before he left, didn't he?" Blaise continued. "He made sure to burn the bridge once he was safely on the other side, _didn't he_? What method did he use, Theo? Did he blame it on Hermione's voice or did he make up some bullshit about how you'd have never worked out anyway?"

"Blaise," Theo warned.

"You don't get it, do you?" Blaise sighed harshly. "I'd just as quickly bring him back to life and kill him again as I would bring him back for _you_." When Theo's expression switched from guarded anger to guarded confusion, he sighed again and continued, "If I could bring Regulus and Teddy back, if I had the power to do that, _I would_. I want you to be _happy,_ Theo, even if that meant you weren't happy with _me_. Even though I fucking _hate_ Regulus Black with _everything I have_."

"I'd bring them back too," Draco muttered, frowning at Theo. "We don't love you any differently than you love us, you know. And that isn't any different than the way we all love Hermione. We're a _family_." He paused, his frown deepening. "Aren't we?"

Theo was glancing between them with a helpless, lost expression when the quiet sound of knuckles on drywall drew their attention towards the main hallway where a worried, teary eyed Hermione stood next to Theron, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and giving his son an unreadable look.

"How long have you been back?" Theo asked quietly.

"Long enough," replied Theron, his tone neutral and betraying nothing of his thoughts. "Come on. We're going for a drive."

Theo glared at him. "Thanks, but I'm not in the mood."

Theron raised a brow. "What luck on my part, then, that I didn't ask how you felt about it."

"Dad," Theo said lowly.

Theron, like his son, had clear indicators to just what level of angry he currently was. Theo yelled when he was upset, but if he was _truly_ on the verge of a warpath, he got quiet. So when Theron's eyes narrowed a fraction more and he very softly said, " _Now_ ," a chill shot down both Draco and Blaise's spines. And, from the looks of it, Theodore's as well.

"Pasta needs drained," Theo muttered without breaking eye contact with his father. "There's spaghetti sauce in the fridge."

"I'll manage," said Blaise quietly. "I'm pretty sure my blood is tomato sauce and basil, Theo. I'll leave you a plate of bastardised spaghetti in the fridge."

Hermione intercepted Theo as he stiffy moved around the island, still glaring at his father, and tucked herself against him. He briefly broke eye contact with Theron in favor of nuzzling her neck.

"Draco realized the ring was a knot sooner than you did," he said offhandedly. "Pretty sure he's been quietly plotting Walburga's murder since that bit of the story came out. Remind me to compare notes with him later, would you?"

Hermione squeezed him once more and kissed his cheek before releasing him. He pressed his lips to her temple before steeling his expression against his father.

Theron inclined his head towards the door. "Go on."

Theo sighed and it was a heavy, angry sound, but he shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled down the hall towards the front of the house anyway.

Theron sent a small smile to Hermione and the boys. "Try to destress while we're gone. You especially, Princess."

Hermione nodded, but her worried gaze strayed to where Theo had disappeared.

"I've got him," Theron assured her, then glanced and Blaise and Draco. "I think they could use a bit more of a feminine approach to things for a while, don't you?"

She gave him a wry smile as he left, turning to the boys hesitantly.

"Hey, Baby," Draco said gently. "Come here."

She was happy to let him pull her into a proper, thorough greeting. Once he considered her lips sufficiently swollen, he tucked her snuggly against him and pressed his nose into her curls.

"Theo seems determined not to let us love him," he said softly as Blaise busied himself with finishing their dinner. "Will you?"

She pressed her lips against his collarbone and Draco assumed, correctly, that she'd be happy for a little normalcy.

It was nothing short of luck that Blaise happened to wake up at the ungodly hour of three twenty-eight AM, and it was dumber luck still that after relieving his impatient bladder, he venturing down to the kitchen for a drink.

If he had thought to glance at the bed before he left, he would have been expecting Theo to be sitting at the island. Alas, he hadn't, and almost had a heart attack when his brain registered a face in the dim candle light, but took its time identifying that face as Theodore's.

"Jumpy," Theo muttered. "Sorry I startled you."

"It's okay," Blaise said with a yawn. "Just didn't realize you were up. What are you doing down here, anyway?"

Blaise's momentary blindness due to his trip to the bathroom started to fade, making Theo's candle more than enough light to see the other man shrug. "Feeling sorry for myself," He answered. "Couldn't sleep. Had a weird dream and dad's always been good about making me need to completely reevaluate how I view the world. The bastard."

"He loves you," Blaise said as he grabbed a glass from a nearby cabinet. "Sometimes the people who love you have to be bastards to get through to you. It's a catch twenty-two."

Theo was frowning at the counter top when Blaise sat next to him with not one, but two ice waters, the second of which he slid in front of Theo.

"Hydration is important," was a he said in response to Theo's inquiring glance.

"Speaking of bastards," Theo muttered. "I didn't mean to be so nasty earlier."

"I know," Blaise assured him. "This hasn't been easy for anyone. You're just more vocal about it than Hermione, obviously."

"Still," said Theo. "I was an arse."

Blaise's lips curled into a wry smirk. "You? An arse?"

Theo almost smiled. "I can't be perfect all the time."

"Could've fooled me," Blaise said before taking a slow sip of his water. "Where do we go from here, Theo?" He asked quietly. "How do we get back to where we were before all of this? Because frankly, I'm tired, so I know everyone else must be too."

"You're assuming that at some point in the next few weeks this isn't all going to sink in good and proper and send you running," Theo grumbled. "I've been planning for the worst case scenario, not the best."

Blaise sighed, setting down his water so he could rub his face with his hands. "The amount of times we've had this conversation is insulting, you realize?"

Theo muttered another quiet apology and Blaise sighed again.

"You wanna tell me what's bothering you so badly?" Blaise asked. "You said you had a weird dream. What was it about?"

Theo tensed and shook his head slowly, eyes never leaving the dancing speck of light on the counter that was mirroring the gentle flicker of the candle. "Nothing worth talking about," he said thickly.

"Don't do that," Blaise sighed. "I've backed off since the fight so you could process and do your thing, because you analyze the world differently than I do and I knew you needed space. Needed room to breathe without thinking I was rushing you. Everything is out now, Theo, the laundry's been aired. And I get it. You're like me. We're the rocks Draco and Hermione need, but that doesn't mean we don't need to lean on people too," he said. "I've leaned on you before. I've leaned on Hermione, and despite what you may think, when Squishy realizes he's needed, he's as sturdy as he is anxious to obliterate whatever's caused you pain. He almost had a full blown meltdown when we found out about Teddy, for God's sake."

"Exactly," said Theo quietly. "Your energy, and mine, is better spent on those two."

Blaise frowned. "You're missing the point."

"No," argued Theo, "I'm not. I know full and damn well that it's not healthy for me to cope the way I do. _I don't care_. You three are my priority. If my own needs fall by the wayside in order to take care of you lot, then so be it."

"It doesn't need to be that way though," Blaise said. "You know it doesn't. You aren't going to suddenly offset my mental health by, to quote Draco, 'deciding you could use a cuddle.'"

"I cuddle," Theo mumbled petulantly. "I'm very affectionate."

"You bottle your emotions and use all that excess pent up energy to fuel your sex drive, as if it _needs_ more fuel," Blaise deadpanned. "Not wanting to lean on Hermione all the time I understand, especially right now, but you have me and you have Draco. It makes no sense for one person to try and carry everyone's mental health on their shoulders in a _relationship_ that consists of _four people_." When Theo remained silent, Blaise added, "I'm not Regulus, Theodore. Even if my mother didn't _adore_ you, I'd tell her to fuck off before I let her dictate who I choose to love. And if the money thing made me uncomfortable, I'd ask you three for a loan so I could build my own fortune and pay you back as soon as I was able, but that's not an issue for me either, because I wouldn't expect that from any of you."

"There's no good reason to weigh someone else down with my bullshite if I can handle it myself," said Theo. "It's selfish."

"Is Hermione selfish when she can't talk but manages to timidly convey that she needs held?" Blaise asked. "Is Draco selfish when he works himself into an anxious mess because he feels guilty and ashamed that you two haven't had the _pleasure_ of formerly meeting Narcissa as his loved ones?"

"No," Theo muttered.

"Am I selfish if I'm in a mood after getting off the phone with my mother and want _one of you_ to myself because if I don't if I don't fuck something I'll start breaking shit and I'm in no position to share?"

"Certainly not then," said Theo, smirking slightly. "You do know that Hermione and Draco try to arrange themselves as close to wherever you are in the hopes that you pick whoever you see first when that happens, right?"

Blaise let himself smile. "Do they really?"

"Oh yeah," Theo assured him, toying with the edge of his glass. "It's like some _Hunger Games_ bullshite and they both volunteer as tribute."

"We're getting sidetracked, but while we're on this tangent, if the video archive managed to explain any odd or random curiosity I had about you two, it shed some light on how Hermione can take dick like it's an Olympic event she's got gold in."

Theo choked on the first drink of water he'd taken since Blaise sat down and struggled to regain his ability to breathe while simultaneously laughing. "Yeah," he managed after a moment. "Apparently if you build up someone's tolerance for forced orgasms to a certain point then their tolerance for orgasms that are spaced out more naturally goes up as well. Draco's a champ too but sweetie has a limit."

"I've yet to find Hermione's," said Blaise.

"When she's feeling more like herself, remind me to fetch a toy box from the basement," Theo told him. "I'll teach you some knots. She's a vision tied up in royal blue hemp."

"Holding you to that," Blaise muttered. "Seriously, though. Talk to me."

Theo frowned into his water. "It wasn't anything special," he said. "I've dreamt about Teddy before."

"But this time was different," Blaise assumed.

Theo shrugged. "People don't usually remember dreams with any sort of vivid clarity," he murmured. "I just can't decide if I'm glad I can remember the whole thing or not."

"Why...?" Blaise prodded gently.

Theo's jaw tightened. "Because he was old enough to talk."

Blaise sucked in a breath, afraid he knew where this was headed. "Yeah?" He encouraged. "What'd he say?"

Theo swallowed hard and gnawed his lip a moment. "He was with my mum...and Regulus..." He said in a voice barely above a whisper. "They were at a little pond that was near the portion of the Prince property that we'd sometimes camp at during the summer. And by camp I mean Hermione and I thought we were roughing it but her dad could take a quick jog and fetch us juice boxes."

Blaise smiled softly. "You're gonna have to help me find videos of that sometime. Draco will lose his mind."

Theo's lip twitched. "We liked to feed the ducks," he said. "And sometimes we got to watch tadpoles hatch. That's where they were. Mum was off to the side feeding ducks, Reggie was sunbathing a little ways off, and Teddy was sitting with me..." Theo swallowed again. "I couldn't figure out why the whole thing felt off to me. At first I thought it was because Hermione wasn't there, but Teddy kept distracting me, so I couldn't put my finger on it."

Blaise reached out and Theo's nearest hand, lacing their fingers and giving him a firm, encouraging squeeze. He returned it with a weaker one.

"He asked me where the ducks went when it got cold, and what about snakes because Uncle Reggie said that me, him, and Hermione were snakes when we were in school..." Blaise squeezed his hand again but Theo just stared a hole into the countertop and bit the inside of his cheek to try and make his lips stop quivering. "Then he...he asked me if I would tell Papa that he was alright so Papa'd stop being angry and sad...I asked him who 'Papa' was..." He whispered. "And he gave me a look — that same _bloody_ look Hermione gives us when we're being dense — and says ' _Papa,_ Daddy. _Papa Day-co._ And Babbo too.'"

Blaise felt a sinking, heavy feeling settle in his stomach. "Theo..." He murmured. "Baby..."

Theo harshly wiped his eyes with his free hand, but didn't stop talking. "He said that Mummy was too sad to see him today, and to tell her it's okay, but that he'd really like it if we brought him more of the blue flowers because they're his favorite. And to tell his mum that he's sorry he wasn't strong enough to stay with us but that he's okay now and it wasn't her fault..."

Blaise winced when Theo's voice started cracking, but couldn't bring himself to interrupt.

"He said he had to go now but that he loved us and had kept all the flowers we'd brought him and he wasn't mad that we didn't visit for a while...Said he missed us too but that he really was okay and that he had lots of family to keep him company. He said 'ohana' and he hugged me and he was _warm_."

"That sounds like a good dream," Blaise said quietly. "A dream that would give you some closure...so why are you so miserable."

"It's not _real_ ," Theo said with a sniff. "None of it was real."

"Theo, no one knows what happens when we die," Blaise murmured. "Maybe it was and maybe it wasn't. You'd feel better if you knew it was, right?" Theo nodded miserably. "Then let it be real."

Theo let go of Blaise's hand to wipe his eyes properly, but didn't retake it once he'd done so.

"Oi," Blaise said. "C'mere."

"I'm fine," Theo protested, thought it was weakened when he sniffed again. "I leaned. I'm good. Go back to bed."

Theo got up, drained his water, and moved towards the sink with stiff motions and Blaise stared daggers into his back for a few tense moments while his annoyance resurfaced.

"Oh my God," he said between bitter, disbelieving chuckles. "You're fucking serious right now, aren't you?"

Blaise could've sworn Theo muttered something that sounded like 'No, I'm Theodore,' but he was too annoyed to pay it much attention.

When Theo stayed by the sink, tense and slightly hunched over, Blaise laughed again.

"You're fucking serious," He said. "After everything we just talked about you're _really_ pulling this shit right now."

"I'm happy to entertain," Theo muttered darkly, and Blaise could hear that he was still crying. "I'll be here all week."

"Fuck off," Blaise snapped, sliding off his stool. "Fuck right the hell off, Theodore."

"You mind toning that shit down?" Theo asked. "I can feel the love from here and honestly it's a touch stifling."

It was nothing short of luck that Theo had been turning around at the exact moment Blaise got close enough to pin him against the edge of the sink and grab a fistful of his hair. Theo's protests were viciously interrupted by Blaise's mouth and the painful grip he had on his hair. If he hadn't been so starved for affection, so _tired_ , Theo might have bitten Blaise's tongue and started a proper battle for dominance, but he just didn't have it in him...He didn't fight back, but he also didn't react when Blaise pulled back a smidge.

"If you space to sort through all the shit in your head, _say that_ ," he muttered roughly. "But stop doing this pushing me away bullshite. _Especially_ when you don't really want me to go."

Theo looked away, but otherwise he didn't move.

"What do you want?" Blaise asked. "What do you _actually_ want me to do, Theodore?"

Theo was quite for so long that Blaise sighed and finally released his hair. If he pushed too hard, Theo would shut down and he'd lose any of the microscopic amounts of progress he might have made, however much it infuriated him to back down.

"Stay," Theo said so quietly Blaise almost missed it. " _Stay..._ "

Blaise frowned as he watched Theo stare a hole into the wall and realized his knuckles were white where they gripped the edge of the counter...He sighed and after sending a few silent curses in Regulus Black's direction, he pressed his forehead against Theo's.

"Gladly," He murmured. "Now _come here_. You're shaking."

"Do you think they're fighting again?" Draco asked worriedly as he and Hermione made their way towards the kitchen. Hermione was still half asleep even though they'd slept in, and was keeping their pace slow as she leaned into his side.

She shrugged in answer to his question and he worried his bottom lip in thought.

"I hope not," he continued, "Things have been stressful eno—"

Hermione sent her elbow into his ribs and stopped at the mouth of the hall, forcing him to stop as well.

He frowned down at her and rubbed the sore spot on his side. "What?"

She pointed into the living room and he followed her gaze, pleasantly surprised by the sight before them. Theo and Blaise fast asleep on the couch Blaise considered more expensive than practical with little more than the flimsy blue throw blanket over their bottom halves. Their pajamas were strewn about in a haphazard mess that couldn't quite be considered individual piles.

Draco tilted his head to the side. "Theo isn't the big spoon," he noted as Hermione pushed him towards the kitchen with a grin.

They managed, albeit barely, to make breakfast without too much commotion, but the smell of food must have woken their slumbering boyfriends anyway, because when the two entered the kitchen, fingers loosely twined, they were freshly showered and had slipped into new pajamas. Draco hoped their dirty laundry had made its way into a hamper.

"I never got a chance to ask," started Theo, his eyes trained on Hermione. "Did going to the cemetery last night help at all? You don't seem like you're feeling _worse_..."

Hermione sent him a bittersweet half smile as she put two omelets on plates and slid them towards Theo and Blaise. She finished her phone out of the pocket of her dark green Slytherin hoodie after she switched the burner off.

Theo's phone vibrated just as he pulled it from the pocket of one of his many pairs of black Slytherin sweatpants and Blaise read over his shoulder.

 ** _We didn't make it past the gate_** , she'd written. **_I wasn't ready. We walked around the gardens at the Manor instead. I'd like to try again though...just not without you, D, and B._**

Theo's fingers stiffened between Blaise's and the latter quietly muttered, "Just let it be real and breathe," too quietly for the others to hear.

 ** _We'll go with you_** Theo typed one-handed. **_Just tell me when. I want to bring him more blue roses and forget-me-nots._**

Blaise squeezed Theo's fingers once more before releasing them to grab his omelet and deliver the appropriate morning displays of affection to their other partners. The events of the previous night didn't need to be shared with Draco and Hermione until Theo was comfortable crossing that bridge, and Blaise certainly wasn't going to rush him.

"So," said Draco once they'd all situated themselves at the island. "Any other significant details about your life we need to know or are we all on the same page?"

Theo took a quick sip of his orange juice. "There's a chest in the basement full of rope, vibrators, leather restraints, candles, and some other kinky shit," he said solemnly.

Hermione, who was typing her own answer on her phone, sent him an amused smirk that he returned.

"I said significant," Draco muttered.

"Did I forget to say butt plugs?" Theo mused. "Sorry. I guess it doesn't sound all that significant when I go around leaving out the important bits like that."

Draco and Blaise's phones vibrated a moment later, and Hermione slid her phone to Theo while the other two read what she'd sent them.

 ** _When we were in primary, this girl in our class told Theo he had girly hair and I pushed her down a flight of stairs a few days later. She, wisely, told everyone she slipped, so I never got in trouble._**

"Jesus Christ," Draco muttered. "Violent little thing."

Theo and Blaise were trying not to laugh, and the former asked, "Fleur Delacour?"

Hermione grinned and took a bite of her toast with a soft shrug.

"Brat," Blaise chuckled.

"Be mindful of that one," said Theo without making eye contact with Blaise. "She's unreasonable when she's in a state."

Theo spent the remainder of breakfast grinning down at his plate and pretending to ignore the half-hearted daggers Blaise was glaring at him.

 **Look! They're fixed! Now, who's excited for the Annual Parkinson Autumn Soiree next chapter? I know I aaaaaaaaam~**


	10. Autumn Soiree Part I

**Part X**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 **TWs: Mentions of: miscarriage, stillbirth, death, trauma, drug addicts, addictions, & drugs (Also, very bad jokes)**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.]_

Draco found Hermione outside at that odd hour of the morning where the sun wasn't _quite_ rising but the stars were still visible, where the world wasn't getting brighter but the sky wasn't pitch black anymore either. He slid the glass door behind him, shivering and pulling his robe tighter around himself. How she was comfortable in nothing but her favorite, slightly faded Slytherin pajama shorts and a Slytherin green pullover with _Slug Club_ emblazoned on the back in silver letters, was beyond him.

Until he'd been looking for her and spotted her outside, Draco hadn't paid much notice to the small path leading away from the back patio towards the lake, nor the short pier that overlooked the water. Now that he knew it existed, however, he was determined to revisit it in the morning, preferably with more suitable attire and a cup of tea.

"Oi," he said softly when he reached her. She didn't say anything, as expected, but she did scoot over a few inches so he could sit beside her. "What are you doing up?"

Hermione shrugged, still staring out at the dark water, and he was briefly distracted by a small convoy of orange leaves being pushed across the lake's surface by the slightly too-cool breeze. He let the question hang, knowing she'd give him an answer, if there was one, when she felt up to it.

He had long since zoned out, entranced by the peaceful atmosphere, when his phone vibrated in his pocket. The moment he opened her text, all traces of tranquility left him.

 ** _I want my son back._**

"Baby..." he murmured, resting a hand on her thigh and giving her a light squeeze, "I wish I could give him back to you. None of this is fair and I _hate_ that my relatives, however distant, are involved…If I could make up for their mistakes I would."

She sighed and he moved the hand on her thigh in favor of wrapping his arm around her shoulders when she leaned into him. The light of her phone lit up her face briefly while she typed.

"You would have saved him if you could've," Draco said into the silence between them. "There was so much you couldn't control, Hermione. You can't…live with all this _guilt_ forever. It's not healthy, it's not coping, and I hate that there's something holding you and Theo back that I don't know how to help you fix."

She stopped typing long enough to give him a sad look and he pushed a stray curl behind her ear, frowning.

"It bothers me that you two were able to keep all this pain hidden so well for so long," he continued. "It _frustrates_ me that I never noticed how you're quite in December, that you 'leisurely' drink a little more near the fourteenth than you do the rest of the month. Or that you 'texted an old friend' more often at certain times of the year, like on what I now know is Theo's birthday, in December, Valentine's Day, and other little anniversaries that are significant to you two…" He sighed, rubbing the space between his eyes in an attempt to ward off the dull ache building there. "You two hid so well, lied and half-lied _so well_ , that Blaise and I didn't even know how much unrest the both of you had simmering under the surface. And we're just winging it at this point, hoping we don't do something to make things worse, hoping we don't smother you or _not_ offer comfort when it's needed. It's…" he trailed off, chewing his lip thoughtfully for a moment. Hermione waited, silent and patient, beside him. She didn't resume typing on her phone, though he would've have minded if she did, and gave him her full attention until he'd gathered his thoughts. "I can't speak for Blaise, exactly, but knowing there's a whole other side to both of you that I didn't even know about until recently, realizing that I don't know you as well as I thought I did, it's…I don't know how to help. I don't know what you need, I don't know how to comfort either of you, I don't know what will help, what wont, or _what I can do_ to put my _family_ back together."

He didn't notice the frustrated tear that had formed and escaped without his consent until she gently brushed the offending drop off his cheek. His jaw tensed with annoyance, but it was directed at himself.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, "you've got your own reasons to be out here and I'm—"

She put her finger over his lips to silence him, her expression patient and unwavering as she shook her head. She removed it slowly, still eyeing him as she started fiddling with her phone again, and he stayed quiet, waiting for words even though there were plenty of self-deprecating comments on the tip of his tongue.

 ** _Teddy isn't the only reason I'm out here. I was thinking about the cemetery when you showed up, but before that I was thinking about everything you just said. It isn't fair that you and Blaise are in this situation with us and I'm sorry that we kept so many secrets for so long. Any time I considered the idea of you two finding out about all of this, I never thought about how isolated you two might feel in the aftermath. Never realized how real of a possibility that was. Then again, Theo and I never imagined you'd STAY either…_**

Draco frowned at her screen. "I'm more upset about all of us than I am about learning curve Blaise and I will have to work through. You're still you, after all, but it's…unsettling to go from knowing how to comfort someone when they get frustrated or upset to feeling like you have no idea how to help them."

Hermione frowned back at him. **_It's the same. You're here for us, we know that. You don't have to walk on eggshells, Draco. Theo makes it pretty clear very quickly when a line has been crossed…_**

Draco almost smiled. She was right, naturally. "I just want to help you heal. I want to make things better, make them as normal as they can be under the circumstances. I just don't know what we can do, like a bonding thing or something that would push us in that direction…"

For the first time since they arrived in Wiltshire and had dinner with Theo's father, Hermione's eyes sparkled with mischief and a smirk slowly curled her lips.

 ** _Tell me, Squishy,_** she'd typed, **_have you ever been to a Parkinson Autumn Soiree?_**

Draco raised a brow, confusion settling over his features. "Um…no? Father has I think. Why?"

Her smirk remained. **_Pansy sent us invitations. Well, she sent Theo and me invitations, but there was a note attached making it clear that we could each bring a 'plus one' in addition to each other._**

A nervous sort of excitement stirred in Draco's stomach. "Yeah? Going public then?" He asked, ignoring the anxiety over whether or not his mother might attend.

 ** _You'd get to meet some friend of ours from childhood and Uni._** she wagered.

He smiled, though it was small.

If Theo and Hermione could face baring their souls, he could take the risk that his mother might meet his lovers in person with, he assumed, Daphne Greengrass' tattling as her only frame of reference.

"If all the big families are getting invitations, won't there be familiar, unfriendly persons in attendance as well?" he asked, thinking of his mother's cousins.

Her smirk only faltered a smidge. **_I did say THEO got an invitation._**

* * *

Theron eyed the four adults in his kitchen with little more than quiet approval. They had only visited the manor two times, now three. Once upon their arrival and once a few days before Theo had started sending him messages about how things were 'getting aired out' and that it might be best if dinners were postponed.

One brief text conversation with Hermione had informed him that the four of them were — finally, or so she hoped — on the mend. His invitation for lunch the next day had been accepted by her without consulting his son.

At least, Theron assumed that's why Theo was pouting at her when they'd arrived.

He had invited them to eat lunch, but had purposefully eaten a big breakfast that morning so he could sip tea and watch them squirm without distraction. They were each a varying degree of uncomfortable or nervous under his silent scrutiny. Theodore, mulish as ever, stared him down, not even looking away when Theron directed his attention elsewhere. Hermione only shrugged when he caught his passing glances. Blaise and Draco, however, paid him little to no mind. They were too focused on pretending not to worry about their partners while also stealing concerned glances in the direction of said partners.

Theron smirked behind his teacup. He hadn't understood, exactly, when Theodore had awkwardly explained his and Hermione's relationship with Regulus Black many years ago, but the idea had lost its obscurity rather quickly. Now, though he still didn't understand it on the level he would like to, he also didn't particularly give a damn how his son, and honorary daughter, lived their lives so long as they were happy and properly cared for.

Draco and Blaise were, he thought, much better suited to the task than Regulus had even been. So Theron sipped his tea, watched his children — now four in number, because he might be tempted to disown his son if the quartet before him ended in anything but a marriage with a serious surname conundrum — eat their sandwiches, squirm, and, in Theo's case, glare at him.

"I received my invitation from Pansy's parents," he said nonchalantly. "I do believe Zira mentioned that Lucius was planning on attending again this year."

Theo rolled his eyes, wondering why his father was being purposefully not subtle, and said, "Yes, we'll be there, you nosy old coot."

"I resent that," said Theron. "I believe the Blacks are in the country and will be making the occasion as well."

"The Greengrasses?" asked Theo.

"With Daphne nearly engaged and Astoria eligible for marriage? They wouldn't miss it."

Theo's smirk was dangerous. " _Perfect_."

"So much for the party being uneventful," Draco muttered under his breath.

"You'll want to get suits sent up from home," Theron pointed out. "It'll be November thirteenth before you know it."

Draco had a sudden realization and turned towards Hermione. "Do you have a dress?"

She fluttered her lashes at him and Theo chuckled. Blaise frowned.

"Unless you want to deal with Narcissa II again," he said to Theodore, "you better not suddenly reveal that there's another closet hidden in that house full of designer shite. Because there certainly isn't any of that in the master suite."

Theo's innocent stare made Blaise sigh.

"A closet?" echoed Draco.

"There may or may not be two additional walk in closets across the hall from the master suite," said Theron. "I imagine, however, that if there are, they hold special occasion and seasonal wear, as opposed to the main closets in the master bathroom with everyday apparel."

"God damn it," muttered Blaise.

"As lovely as your company is," Draco said to Theron before rounding on Hermione and Theo, "when, exactly, can we go back home?

* * *

Blaise watched, entertained, as Draco took over Hermione's makeup and added the final touches to her hair. She looked equal parts demure and elegant, youthful and wise, which made for a very amusing combination. He knew damn well how fierce she could be when the situation arose and he saw her dress of choice for what it was: Armor. Very cunning, socially acceptable, endearing armor.

As far as they knew, most of the wealthy families would be in attendance, which, unfortunately, included the Blacks and Greengrasses. Blaise didn't know what he'd do if they ran into Regulus' mother, but he certainly wasn't eager to find out. He was looking forward to meeting people from the 'other half' of Theo and Hermione's life, however, and possibly seeing his mother in a neutral atmosphere where she wouldn't press his buttons.

"So Pansy and Luna will be there," he said, continuing after Hermione's small nod. Lord forbid she move and disrupt Draco while he slipped jeweled pins into the complicated half-up do he'd managed to get her curls into. "What about your other 'friends' from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang?" he asked. "Not that I've interacted much with the Potters or Weasleys."

Draco tutted. "I cannot believe you befriended a _Weasley_."

Hermione reached back and lightly pinched his side, but Draco did little more than frown and swat her hand away.

"I blame it on youth and an underdeveloped taste for civilized society," he continued.

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Theo already said they were really only friends with Potter. Weasley was a necessary evil, supposedly."

Draco made a face. "That entire family is a nightmare and Theo said they liked the daughter well enough."

Hermione's noise of disagreement pleased Draco immensely and Blaise couldn't help but roll his eyes again.

"That lot is all political connections now."

The three turned towards the door, finding Theo leaning against the frame and somehow managing to look like his aloof self and the heir to the Nott fortune at the same time. Draco eyed the way his crisp, dark bottle green satin button-down fit him farm too flatteringly to be decent, and outright refused to pay his obviously tailored slacks any mind at all. Blaise and Hermione had no such qualms about openly staring, and, naturally, Theodore observed all of their reactions with a smirk.

"What's the matter, Squishy?" He teased.

The stubborn set of Draco's expression only amused Theo further. "I don't know if I want to kill your tailor or send them on an all-expenses paid month long cruise."

Theo snorted as Blaise shook his head to clear it of whatever fantasies had been running rampant in his mind. "I know we're fortunate enough that we're all pretty proportionate in relation to the needs of the receivers in this relationship," he said, mostly addressing the other men in the room, "but how exactly does one make a pair of pants _that_ aesthetically generous?"

Theo huffed. "It's not the pants, Black Panther. Nature's just been kind to me."

"That was more of a compliment than a dig, Bucky," said Blaise. "And you gotta catch a break somewhere."

Theo shrugged as if doing so prevented the weight of Blaise's comment from settling on his shoulders. "I mean, I'd totally trade hands so to speak, but it could be worse. At least I meet the needs of my S.O.s. P.S. that wasn't meant as a dig to begin with. Have you _seen_ _Civil War_? Talk about nature being kind…"

Hermione hummed in appreciative agreement and Draco tutted again as he put the final pin in her hair. "Horny savages," he said, his tone accusatory. Then, after raking his eyes over Theo, he sighed. "Why do I get the feeling that you looking lickable is going to be the least of my stressors tonight?"

Theo's smile, while slightly teasing, was warm. "You can lick me whenever you want, Little Badger."

Hermione's snickers were nearly silent, but her shaking drew Draco's attention and he tapped one of the crystals dangling from her ear. "Ha ha, Draco's apparently a Hufflepuff, yes, very funny," he said dryly.

"Endearing, really," Theo said.

Draco glared at him. "Honey badger don't care, arsehole."

Theo was still laughing at Draco's expense long after the driver arrived with Theron already in tow, and the quartet set off for the Parkinson estate.

* * *

Draco and Blaise had expected nothing less than the society parties they'd been forced to attend as children and teenagers. They expected gaudy, heavy handed decorations and food that looked more interesting than it tasted. They expected gossips mingling in groups who varied between talking louder than was decent or failing at conversing in hushed tones while remaining inconspicuous. They expected to see a bunch of aristocrats taking themselves far too seriously and taking advantage of the seemingly unlimited supply of alcohol.

Needless to say, they were shocked to find that the Parkinsons were exceptionably tasteful hosts, and more so at how light and genuine the atmosphere seemed upon entering the massive ballroom.

"My mother wouldn't live past the front door," Draco muttered, making Blaise smirk.

The more they looked around, the more they picked up on subtle hints that told them just how close Theo and Hermione were to Pansy. As Theodore had, seemingly out of nowhere, presented them both with their attire for the soiree several days in advance, they hadn't picked the colors or styles themselves. Yet Blaise's shirt was the same color as the some of the dahlias in the flower arrangements, flowers ranged from white to died shades of butterscotch, burnt gold, and, matching Blaise, dark crimson. But, as the continued into the room, they noticed that the color scheme was not static.

Nearest to the door the splashes of color provided by the flowers, accents on table settings, and even the threading on the chair covers, solely compromised of warmer shades. As they traveled deeper, following Theron towards what they presumed was their table, the colors darkened and shifted to deeper, cooler shades. Warm browns turned to deep greys, vibrant reds dulled and became more purple in hue, bright whites and ivorys became muted blues, and oranges became shades ranging from the dark cornflower blue of Draco's shirt to the color of the night sky.

Draco squinted when he realized that, of the two, Hermione was the closest to matching the décor the way Blaise and himself did, but neither of their other two partners were wearing colors present throughout the room.

And then he realized that Theo had been very subtly crowd watching since they entered the room.

Anxiety prickled on the back of Draco's neck and he rubbed the sensation away discretely, glad when they finally reached a table covered in dark blues, pretty shades of dark periwinkle and mauve, and deep purples. The white tablecloth was soft and smooth, the dining wares were flawlessly white with minimalistic autumnal shapes carved along the edges, and the silverware matched. Tea candles rested atop miniature pumpkins and apples that had their tops carved to nestle the candles within. The air smelled faintly of cinnamon and honey butter, though he couldn't see the refreshments table clearly enough from this vantage point to make out the source.

"Pans found us," said Theo as he claimed a seat next to Hermione. Draco took her other side, putting Blaise on Draco's right, with all of them facing the rest of the room. "Normally I wouldn't suggest anyone _not_ take Pansy seriously," Theo continued, "but in our case, she's all bark and no bite. Don't let her intimidate you. She'll try."

Draco nodded, bemused, but accepted the advice good-naturedly.

"What's so special about us that makes us immune to little miss sunshine?" Blaise asked.

Hermione caught his eye and wiggled her fingers at him, smirking.

"This may be her parents' party," said Theo, grinning at Hermione's gesture, "but Pansy is far from the most influential woman in the room."

"I still don't understand how you're so influential but no one talks about it," said Draco to Hermione. "Wouldn't you be a hotter topic of discussion among the social circles we grew up in?"

"Sure," chimed Theron, leaning back casually in his seat and momentarily causing the family resemblance between himself and his son to skyrocket. "If her grandparents hadn't made their views on the pettiness of social politics perfectly clear long before Princess here was born."

Blaise raised a brow. "And people like the Blacks and Malfoys — No offense, love, but we've both met your mother — are willing to respect that implied mandate to the point of it trickling down through the generations?"

Theron's eyes were twinkling as he sent a side glance at Theo, who was fighting a smile. "Let's pretend we're in France several hundred years ago," he said. "Same political layout and everything, okay? Three people would have to die for Hermione to inherit the throne."

Hermione flushed slightly when Blaise and Draco's gazes snapped to her in stunned surprise.

"Yeah," said Theo, smirking openly now. "You wanna talk about trust fund children? How about: you're dating a decedent of decedents of a throne that doesn't exist anymore. And, kicker, my mum's ancestors were the ladies in waiting of Hermione's ancestors."

Draco's lips twitched, but he had no intentions of voicing his thoughts allowed. Naturally, Theo disagreed.

"Oh do share," he purred, "that looked like a very not-Hufflepuff thought."

Draco only shrugged. "I just wonder why Walburga Black would be so pissy about her son in cohorts with distant royalty and couldn't help but wonder if such knowledge would change my mother's tune."

Hermione smiled and tapped a finger against her lips as Theo said, "Let Hermione handle your mother, Squishy. She called dibs eons ago."

Before Blaise or Draco could ask what exactly that entailed, the sound of heels clicking against the marble floors with purpose, clearly heading in their direction, distracted them all. No sooner had they realized who must be approaching, did a sharp, biting sigh come from behind them.

"Granger, couldn't you have spared me and worn a potato sack?"

Theo and Hermione's posture shifted minutely, but the boys picked up on the change immediately. They looked like a power couple suddenly, like a haughty king and his precious, demure queen, when really Theo wasn't calling the shots.

"Parkinson," he said smoothly. "You can't let this crush hold you down forever. It's not healthy."

Pansy rounded the table, coming into Draco and Blaise's view as she took the empty seat beside Theron and lowered herself into itgracefully. Her dress was…striking, to say the least, and perhaps ventured a little past the line of propriety for the event, but it was no less flattering. A silver-gold leaf dangled from each of her ears, and there was a subtlety matching bracelet on her left wrist. Once she was seated, she adjusted the halter of her dress slightly, frowning at the material.

"See, if you two idiots stopped pissing off to wherever you've been, I wouldn't have had to try and find someone half decent to go shopping with," Pansy said, scowling. "I love this little thing and all, but honestly, Princess would've caught the potentially itchy collar before I bought it and I could be in some sleek, glittery little number instead."

Theo's feigned sympathy was so obviously ingenuine that Draco wondered what prevented Pansy, who he and Blaise knew to be temperamental, from going off on him. "That's a shame," said Theo. "Although you still wouldn't have led my 'Mione astray."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "No shite, Sherlock. She has three cocks to take care of and she's still got the energy to come out in public? Looking all sweet and precious? I know a lost investment when I see one."

Theo shrugged, a smirk playing at his lips. "Still single, Pans?"

Her eyes narrowed. "You are not setting me up on another blind date, Theodore Augustus Nott."

He fluttered his lashes innocently. "Pansy, please, if I had someone in mind I'd introduce you to them personally."

Her eyes narrowed further, but Theo held his ground with false innocence, fooling no one.

"I hate you," said Pansy.

"If you didn't, Hermione wouldn't be friends with you," he shot back, then smiled widely. "Delacour, for example."

Pansy's grin turned shark-like. "Ginny."

Theo was trying not to laugh. "Lavender."

"Pavarti."

"Every female we went to Durmstrang with who attempted to flirt with me ever."

Hermione glared at them both, unamused, and Theo pecked her temple. "I did the same thing, kitten, put your claws away."

"You did it all the way into Hogwarts," Pansy said, her eyes laughing at him.

"No shite," he deadpanned. "There's been a short, bitchy little lesbian trying to set up camp in my woods since she was fifteen."

Theo and Pansy continued to bicker as if they were siblings and half their ages as Blaise slowly turned towards Hermione. She caught his stare and smiled slightly, a resigned sort of mirth in her eyes. She pinged him and Draco in a Facebook chat a moment later.

 ** _These idiots feed off of each other, if you couldn't tell. Luna doesn't have the same effect though, thankfully._**

Draco was a little weary of meeting this infamous Luna. She'd been in what Theo claimed was the 'smart kid' Hogwarts house, and the few clips they'd seen of her in Theo's video archive attested to that, but the girl still came off as been a few screws short of a stable foundation.

Theo had an arrogant, victorious smirk on his face by the time two members of the wait staff had ventured to their side of the room, one with a pitcher of ice water and the other taking drink and entrée orders for the kitchen. With an annoyed huff and glare thrown at Theodore, Pansy blew Hermione a kiss and excused herself to go continue playing dutiful daddy's girl and co-hostess.

Blaise checked the time on his phone and frowned. Twenty minutes. They'd only been at the party for twenty minutes.

Once Pansy vanished, Theo's energy levels went back down, causing Draco and Blaise to realize just how differently he'd been acting since their fight many weeks prior. While it was nice to see a more genuine side of Theo so consistently, if asked, they'd have both admitted to missing his playful aloofness, even though they knew it was just a mask.

"It's going to be a long night," Theo said, his voice low.

Draco watched Theo watch the crowd and tried to keep his expression neutral. "We don't have to stay," he murmured. We can meet Luna and bounce if this is…we can always meet other friends of yours in a less public setting."

The boys' phones vibrated at almost exactly the same moment and their eyes flicked briefly to Hermione, who was still typing.

 ** _I'm speaking purely for myself here, but there's more to this party than just introducing you guys to old friends and sharing more of the 'other half of our lives' with you._**

Before any of them could open their mouths, her next message appeared on their screens.

 ** _I want to get a read on Lucius, although I'm certain Narcissa will be the roadblock there. Theo, Sirius is supposed to show. Pans told me he had something to discuss with us. Something important. Orion's been pushing to reopen Regulus' case again, apparently, but that's all I know._**

 ** _If Walburga's going to be here, I want to make a statement. Fuck my voice for now, okay? I'm not hiding from this shit anymore. I'm so damn tired of hurting. I just want to take my life back, and if staring down that cow of a woman in public is how I do it, then so be it._**

Three raised brows regarded her as she sat with perfect posture, her expression smooth and carefree as she took a polite sip from her water.

 ** _That said,_** she typed. **_Where the fuck is my wine?_**

 **Every time I ask this fic to make a certain event one chapter's length, I end up with at least two. Once upon a time, in the distant land of chapter 3, I thought this fic would only be five parts long. I was clearly mistaken. The end. But not really because this fic refuses to end.  
**


	11. Autumn Soiree Part II

**Part XI**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 **TWs: Theodore In Public,Dad Jokes,Theo In General  
**

 _[Un-beta'd. Any and all errors are, naturally, faults of mine.]_

Pansy returned to their table with Luna Lovegood in tow just as the first appetizers left the kitchens. Theo and Hermione's reactions to her presence was warm enough to ward off a chill and Luna was positively beaming by the time they'd both had a turn hugging her.

Pansy scowled. "I see how it is."

"Who are you again?" asked Theo, his lips quirked as he gently tapped one of the red stones dangling from Luna's ears.

" _Fuck off_."

Hermione snickered while Luna just smiled and as she turned her head to observe the table as a whole, Draco realized that her earrings were…radishes. He decided it might be most polite to inquire about that detail later on.

"Nearly everyone's here now," said Luna, still bearing a pleasant smile. "Except for Sirius, of course."

Pansy huffed. "Trust that mangy mutt to show up late to a party he insisted I invite him to."

Luna tilted her head in Pansy's direction. "He's being considerate, I think. To Hermione and Theo at least."

Pansy's brow arched in a way that promised venom was about to leave her lips when Theo intercepted. "Phoebe, darling, take pity on us third-eye-less plebes."

Luna smile widened a fraction as she took the seat on Theron's other side, briefly frowning as she glanced around the table settings, before returning her attention to Theo. "He's been talking with Orion recently and you've met the Greengrass sister's officially now, so I imagine he knows about Draco and Blaise. And he knows how you and Hermione are about being crowded without forewarning," she said simply. Her lips pursed briefly before she continued. "I think I saw something of your doing in the cards this morning, Theo. I'd never considered it personally, but you're very right. From what I can tell, it'll go quite well."

Theo's smirk worried Draco and Blaise, as they knew the look meant nothing but trouble, but they said nothing. Attempting to deter him was usually a fruitless venture .

"Yeah?" said Theo. "Excellent. Anything else you've seen that I'd be interested in?"

Luna hesitated for a few moments, her eyes flicking between Theo and Hermione thoughtfully. She let out a slow exhale. "Yes," she said, "you two need to talk, but we can worry about that later. We're all in town for a while and you deserve at least a somewhat enjoyable night out, don't you think?"

Pansy sighed loudly, earning a look from Hermione. "I don't know what bothers me more: that Luna's psychic nonsense has yet to be proven false, that _Theodore_ the skeptical prick buys into it, or that I'm still friends with any of you."

Theo rolled his eyes, but Hermione felt the need to pick up her phone again. No one at the table was surprised when Pansy's, reaching for her own phone, stuck a hand down the front of her dress. Draco couldn't decide if he was in awe of her attitude or offended by it.

Hermione must have texted a jab of some sort, because Pansy's pretty, albeit intimidating, features screwed up in deep offense. "There's no need to get catty, Granger," she said. "I _do_ have _some_ self-respect."

Theo leaned over Hermione's shoulder, grinned, and turned to Luna. "Hermione suggested that perhaps Pansy would find more complimentary comradery in Potter and Weasley if she was so discontent with us."

Luna snickered, earning a glare from Pansy. "They're a bit less trying now, actually. I saw them a few weeks ago in passing. Harry said to tell you two hello. It's a pity they didn't go to Hogwarts with us."

"It's a pity you didn't go to Durmstrang," said Theo. "Maybe you'd have been a good influence on the prats."

"Oh, I doubt it," said Luna. "Harry maybe, but Ronald's never really liked anyone, has he?"

"Only when he's sleeping with them," Pansy said dryly. "Bullet dodged, there."

Hermione snorted and showed Theo her screen so he could read the words aloud, which he did while laughing. "I think you mean STI dodged, Pans."

Pansy snorted, but Luna, quite matter-of-factly, said, "Well, you're not wrong."

"As much fun as reminiscing about the 'good ole days' and gossiping about less civilized people is," Pansy began, although her tone contradicted her words, "What's the deal here?"

Theo raised a brow and Pansy twirled a finger in the air. "All this rot. And these two. Why now? You've been living in London for years without even so much as a whisper of bringing these two around to meet family and friends."

It pained Draco to see some of Theo and Hermione's guards slip back into place so smoothly. Judging by the fact that Blaise purposefully bumped their legs together under the table, Draco assumed he'd noticed too.

"Well, it's obvious isn't it?" said Luna lightly. "They had to find out about Teddy and Reggie."

Apparently, it wasn't obvious to Pansy, who turned back to Hermione and Theo sharply. "You've been with them for how long?"

"None of your concern," Theo said darkly.

"Oh," Pansy replied, her perfectly plucked eyebrows rising with false innocence. "Well, since Hermione left about half a decade ago, I'll do a bit of maths and guess three years."

Theo only shrugged. "Ish. She's been with them longer than I have."

"Yeah? And it never once occurred to you than honesty is the foundation of human decency?" Pansy asked. "Ironic, given how much of a bastard you've been about the subject since Regulus died."

Theo's eyes narrowed as Pansy's cell phone vibrated against the table top, but instead of reading whatever message Hermione had sent her, she simply flipped her phone so it was sitting face down...

...and in doing so, flipped Theo's bitch switch.

"Do _not_ ," he hissed, " _Ignore_. Her _words_."

"You're assuming I wouldn't have ignored her if she'd spoken aloud. I would've," said Pansy sweetly. "She's never not taken your side in an argument, Theodore, and I don't fancy being double teamed by the king and queen of Slytherin, thanks."

"You're not welcome," Theo said. "Read the text."

"Hm. Pass."

"Pansy, I swear on _all_ that is good and holy I will embarrass _both of us_ if you don't—"

"It says 'Fuck you, Bitch.'"

Her voice was soft and far quieter than her normal speaking volume, but as they hadn't heard it in months, all three of Hermione's boys turned towards her once the familiar sound registered in their minds. She was too busy sending daggers at Pansy to notice, but the effect stood all the same.

"Oh look, she speaks," said Pansy, one brow quirked in unimpressed annoyance. "Just not against her boyfriend's hypocrisy, naturally."

Blaise and Draco shared a look, neither quite sure if chiming in would be beneficial in the long run, but certain it would escalate things much further. They happened to catch Theron's eye across the table and at the subtle shake of his head, decided to stay quiet for now. Luna, who was glancing between her three friends with a frown, offered the pair little more than a resigned shrug of her shoulders as if she knew this was coming and was prepared to let the situation ride itself out.

"I'm sorry," said Theo, "last time I checked this was _our_ relationship, not _yours_ , so excuse me if I don't give a flying fuck what you think about how it's progressed."

"I _don't_ ," Pansy snapped. "Crew Code: Call out each other's bullshit when necessary. If you recall, we initiated this particular mandate in the aftermath of your _last_ relationship. And you wouldn't let _me_ off the hook if I did something _completely_ out of character."

"This is different," Theo snapped.

" _Hardly—_ "

"It's only out of character for Theo," Hermione said quietly. Draco and Blaise weren't sure if the tension in her jaw was from anger or the strain she was exerting to speak again. "And it wasn't his choice."

Pansy regarded Hermione impatiently, earning little more than a tired glare in return.

"I was with them first," she said. "I was the one that, when Theo came to meet them, when he _stayed_ , said 'Please don't tell them.' _I_ couldn't bear it, Pans. _I_ didn't want to be treated like glass because I lost a child or be judged for having a _fiance_ back home, regardless of the agreement we made when I left, while I was in a relationship with two other men. Theo's only fault, if you can call it that, is finding the same security in secrecy that I did."

"But why not tell the truth _sooner_ ," said Pansy. " _That_ isn't like you. Sure, lie and get the lay of the land. I can respect that, that's watching out for your own skin. But it's been _years_ since you left, Hermione."

"Because lying was easier," Theo sighed. "Pretending the lies were reality was easier than trying to calculate whether or not they'd stay if they knew the truth. If they realized my jackassery wasn't the most trying thing that came along with being with us."

"And yet," said Pansy, a brow still arched, "here they are."

"Funny," said Hermione, the volume of her voice doing nothing to hide the darkness in it as well. "Because it still feels to me like they could vanish any moment."

"Not happening," Draco and Blaise said in unison, their voices equally unyielding.

"Regardless," said Theo, "Cheers for making sure we haven't lost our senses, Pansy, but seriously, leave it alone."

Pansy regarded them shrewdly for several moments before picking up her glass of water and taking a sip. She said nothing more on the matter, made no signs of remorse or offered an apology, and her expression didn't change in the slightest.

Draco bit his tongue to keep a few choice expletives from falling out of his mouth. She was, for reasons he could no longer fathom, their friend. He'd play nice. Begrudgingly. Very begrudgingly.

Judging by the somewhat sour expression on Blaise's face, Draco assumed he was thinking along the same vein.

Suddenly, Theo stood, purposefully keeping his attention directed away from Pansy. "I'll be back in a minute," he said, and was already weaving his way through tables before anyone could question him.

"Well that was interesting," said Luna.

Blaise kicked Draco under the table before his thoughts could show on his face or leave his mouth unfiltered. Hermione, it seemed, was the only one to notice, judging by the twitch of her lips. She was still staring Pansy down, even as the other woman's focus switched to her nails.

"It was something," Hermione said quietly, acknowledging Luna's comment. "Let's make that the most exciting thing that happens tonight. We got here barely an hour ago, for fuck's sake."

"Cry baby," Pansy muttered.

Hermione shot her a look. " _Tais-toi._ "

Theron hid a smile behind a sip of water and silence briefly descended upon the table as their appetizers finally arrived. As did the wine, to Hermione's relief, and she immediately popped a fried loaded mashed potato ball in her mouth with a contented sigh.

A smirk and a grimace fought for dominance of Pansy's features. "You're killing me, Granger."

"You deserve it," Hermione parried, reaching for another as she gave Pansy a pointed look. "Arse."

Pansy made a show of winking and blowing a kiss across the table, causing Draco to roll his eyes. "Déjà vu," he muttered, causing Blaise to nearly choke on his drink.

"I don't know," Blaise said quietly. "I think Theo's got the gold for ridiculous first impressions."

Draco snickered. Those memories felt so far away, especially now. "'If you think my ego's big...'" he quoted.

Blaise snorted. "Do you have a custody schedule?"

Draco snickered and tried to cover it with a cough, though his smile wouldn't be hidden as easily. "He was such a shit."

"Who?" Theo's voice sounded from behind them as he rejoined them at the table. He had a drink in one hand and a small plate of teasers from _somewhere_ in the other, which he set in front of Hermione before taking a generous sip of his drink. "Me?"

"Naturally," said Blaise. "Who else?"

Theo shrugged, gesturing behind them and to the side. "Him."

Hermione stopped inspecting the plate of treats Theo had brought her long enough for her head to snap up. She grinned and was already out of her seat by the time Draco and Blaise had turned around.

For a moment they both stiffened, their blood running cold in the seconds it took them to realize who they were looking at.

Sirius Black gave Hermione a fond smile as she all but threw her arms around him. He returned her embrace with a gentle firmness one wouldn't expect from a man who managed to make dark wash jeans and a sharp burgundy sweater look rugged. "Hey, little mama," he said warmly. "How've you been?"

She shrugged as she pulled away. "Been better. Been worse."

His lips twitched into a smile. "Yeah? I feel your pain."

Dropping her voice slightly, Hermione said, "Orion's digging, huh?"

Sirius' expression darkened slightly as he put a hand on the small of her back and guided her back to Theo. "He's already deduced for himself that there has to be more to the story. Apparently, the bitch has been so unconcerned he's grown suspicious. He started asking me questions. I told him that even though Reg was my brother, it wasn't my story to tell, but that I'd see about getting him answers. He hasn't said anything, but I'm sure he knows I was referring to you two."

"You think he can handle knowing his wife was a large factor?" asked Theo.

Sirius raised a brow at him. "My parents have hardly been in the same country, nevermind each other's company, since the funeral. He hates how she behaved through the whole thing. Hates how she acted like you two were to blame. If anything, we'd be confirming a suspicion he hopes he's wrong about."

"He's not," said Theron, sitting back in his chair to get more comfortable. "And as awful as it is to think the mother of his children is such a harpy as to disown one son and push the other to suicide, the reality of the situation is that the Blacks have produced at least one bad egg per branch of each generation for the last _several_ generations. Walburga is one of them."

Nodding, Sirius asked Theo, "How long will you be in town?"

Theo shrugged. "Until we're not."

"Still have my cell number? I'm staying with Dad while I'm in town, so we can set up a lunch date or something."

"Where's your mother?" Theron asked, his tone taking on a protective edge that made Draco and Blaise all the more fond of him.

Sirius shrugged as Pansy sat up a bit straighter and cleared her throat. "I cannot say with certainty that she received an invitation."

Several sets of eyes landed on Pansy with varying degrees of surprise and amusement. She raised an eyebrow at them. "My parents put some pieces together," she said by way of explanation.

"It's not polite to only invite one half of a married couple," said Sirius, repressing laughter.

"It's not polite to make my friend kill himself and then make my other friends lose their son," Pansy snapped back. "Besides, she's supposed to be in Italy visiting Zira Zabini."

Theron snorted. "Zira Zabini just walked in the door. Alone. She seems to be very pleased with herself and I suppose we know why."

Blaise hid a chuckle with an unconvincing cough. "Mother always did possess an unusual talent for standing people up."

Pansy glanced over her shoulder towards the entrance hall and smirked. "What a bitch. I like her already."

"Don't let the petty backstabbing fool you," said Blaise. "She's relatively harmless unless you marry her."

Sirius let out a low chuckle. "So who's left in the parents' boat?" He asked Theo and Hermione. "The Malfoys?"

Draco's low groan was answer enough and earned him a few wry smiles as Hermione stood suddenly and began smoothing imaginary wrinkles from her dress. Satisfied with her work, she threw a wink at Draco and Blaise before she rounded the table, presumably making a trip to the loo.

"How exactly do you plan on handling that potential catastrophe?" Sirius asked with a grin. He kissed the air in Hermione's direction as she passed him.

Theo's lips had twitched into a smirk by the time one of his brows quirked upward. He flicked his gaze over Sirius' shoulder briefly and, with amusement coloring his tone, said, "Like that."

Draco, Blaise, and Sirius turned quickly enough to catch Lucius, half empty champagne glass in hand, kissing cheeks with Hermione and laughing at something she'd said.

"Oh," said Sirius. "Well then."

Theo, still smirking, sipped his drink and leaned back in his chair, making his resemblance to his father nearly uncanny. Draco tried not to roll his eyes at the picture of smugness before him. If Theo knew he was amused, the ridiculousness would only intensify.

Blaise, on the other hand, had no intentions of making Draco's feigned lack of amusement easy. Draco raised a brow in inquiry as he popped an hor d'oeuvre in his mouth.

"If you think his ego's big," Blaise said too quietly for Theo to hear.

Draco choked.

* * *

Theo left the table midway through dessert with purpose in his stride and a table crammed with people staring after him. He closed in on the flash of blonde that had caught his attention, put on a smile, and tugged at her sleeve.

She spun around and dimpled at him. He found that, while they were still doe-like, her eyes had lost some of their innocence. Knowledge, realization, understanding, and bitterness lurked in her hazel eyes, hidden, but not well enough for him not to find, and simmering under the surface of her expectedly cheery attitude.

"Astoria," he greeted, making a show of kissing the back of her hand before tucking it into his arm. "I've been looking for you, Buttercup."

"Hello, Theodore," she said, letting him lead her on a slow trek back to his table. "How is everyone?"

"Lovely, thank you," he replied. "You seem like you've had a few epiphanies since our little coffee date."

She breathed out a quiet laugh. "I feel like an idiot for not even realizing…it's so odd how you can know yourself and still know nothing about yourself…Did that make sense?"

He pat her hand. "Of course. It can be hard to digest, especially when you weren't expecting it. You seem to be doing well, though."

"Did you know?" She asked.

He raised a brow at her. "You looked at Hermione's chest more than I did, sugar."

"Oops. Didn't even realize it." Her cheeks brightened and she shrugged, only partially remorseful. "She's pretty," she said, rightfully assuming Theo would pick up on the excuse.

He snorted. "Trust me, she's used to it. Hardly notices anymore, regardless of who's doing it." Catching sight of the harpy he was looking for, Theo felt himself smirk. "Speaking of pretty women with blessed chests…"

Before Astoria could make any sort of comment, they were within hearing range of the table. Theo threw a wink at Hermione and Luna before positioning himself and Astoria accordingly.

Pansy, who had just reached for her wine, froze with the glass halfway to her mouth.

Theo's smirk widened.

"Look who I found," he said, purposefully addressing Hermione, Draco, and Blaise only. "And she's still cute as can be."

He flicked his gaze to Pansy just long enough to notice that she was holding her breath, before continuing to play his game. "Where are my manners? I'll introduce you to everyone."

Keeping a straight face while introducing Astoria with unnecessary thoroughness was more than challenging, but he managed to make his way around the table painlessly. He saved Pansy for last, glad to see she'd remembered how to breathe. It'd really ruin his fun if she passed out before he could properly introduce her to her future wife.

"Pansy, Astoria Greengrass. Tori, love, Pansy Parkinson," he said smoothly, assuming neither heard him judging by the static charging between them.

"Charmed," said Tori sweetly. Theo mentally applauded her indiscreet admiration of Pansy's dress and bit the inside of his cheek as he watched Pansy's much more leisurely assessment of Astoria's…everything.

" _Enchantée_ ," Pansy purred. "Have you even had a chance to get a drink yet, or did this rude idiot friend of mine prevent you from hitting the dessert bar?"

"Dessert bar?" Astoria inquired. "I wasn't aware one existed. Theo saved me from joining my sister."

Pansy stood, half-eaten chocolate mousse forgotten. "Allow me, please. I know for a fact his girlfriend gets violent if another woman has his attention for too long."

"His boyfriends don't?" Tori quipped, falling into step beside Pansy as the two walked away, the rest of their conversation getting drowned out by the noise of the room.

"What the fuck just happened?" Draco asked.

"Twu wuv," said Theo smugly, going back to his seat and resuming his dessert.

"Fifty points to Slytherin," Luna said with a smirk.

Theo winked and raised his drink to her. Fifty points indeed.

* * *

Despite how cool the night was, Theo and Luna waited outside as the party wound down. Hermione and Theron had taken over the task of introducing Draco and Blaise to Mr. and Mrs. Parkinson, which lead to them getting trapped in polite conversation with their hosts. Theo had snuck off, found Luna staring at the stars at the top of the Parkinsons' marble front steps, and joined her.

"How's the future look?" He asked her.

She glanced at him long enough to smile before her gaze returned to her zenith. "Yours or mine? Though I suppose the answers are fairly similar."

Theo shrugged even though he knew she wasn't looking. "I meant generally, unless you've got wisdom to share. Then I'm all ears."

Without missing a beat or so much as changing which constellation she was looking at, she said, "You might stop letting their engagement gifts gather metaphorical dust. Draco might be offended if his is out of style, but not quite yet vintage-like, when you give it to him."

Theo stared at her. "Shite, you're scary sometimes, Luna," he muttered. "Besides, I...I haven't exactly discussed the idea with 'Mione yet. And they _just_ learned the truth about everything. Isn't it too early to even be _thinking —"_

"No," she interrupted, looking away from the stars to frown at him. "They love you _more_ now, Theo, not less. Waiting will just make Draco harder to shop for." She paused. "And there are a lot of things you haven't discussed with Hermione that you ought to."

Theo looked away, his expression clouded with guilt. "She just started talking again tonight. How can I talk to her about Teddy when _she_ can't even talk about him?"

"Because she's been talking _to_ him," said Luna simply. "In her dreams. Just like you did."

His eyes snapped back to hers with near-comedic swiftness. "What?"

Luna shrugged and turned her eyes skyward once more. "It's funny, really. You confided in Blaise, she confided in Draco, and neither of them told the other because they didn't want to betray the trust placed in them, even though they've both been worried. Draco more so, since Hermione's had more dreams and you've only had the one." After a beat of silence, she added, "It's a bit backwards, isn't it? Usually you and Hermione are each other's secret keepers, but you were afraid of upsetting each other. It's good that you can trust the boys like that though. It'll set a good example for your kids."

"Woah," Theo said, backpedaling. " _Kids_? Plural? Hermione and I monitor her birth control like hawks now—"

"Well you haven't made them yet," she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Did you know Hermione's grandmother had a twin?"

"No and I'm not sure why that's important because I'm still confused about the plural part."

Luna smiled at Theo gently. "They want a family too, your boys, I mean. Though I'm pretty sure Draco won't forgive you if you lot aren't married first. He can be a bit ridiculous about some things, can't he?"

Theo sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly, watching the cloud of white dispense into the autumn night. "Right. Like I said: You're scary."

"It's not me you're scared of," she said. "It's them."

"I know," he muttered.

"Might make the proposal bit easier if you figured out how to not be."

He snorted. "I doubt I will, but I'll talk to Hermione."

"Maybe don't let Narcissa think a big wedding is in her son's future. Hermione'll have to pull her Princess card and it'll just go downhill from there," Luna said after a moment. "And I wouldn't buy Draco a dress, even though that'd be really funny. He might break off his fourth of the engagement out of spite."

Theo coughed out a laugh. "Noted. Anymore warnings?"

Luna gave him a look, frowning. "Hermione's going to have a hormone issue during Auggie's pregnancy. Keep an eye out for it. There's lots of natural ways to treat it. Bioidentical hormones aren't cheap, but that won't be an issue for you."

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Is that what—"

"No. Teddy's future was always fuzzy when I looked. I don't think he was meant to make it, Theo. I think he was meant to set some things in motion, meant to put your life on a different path..." Luna sighed and looked back towards the main doors. "Meant to lead you to them."

He swallowed again, blinking hard. "He's happy though?"

Luna gave him a pointed look. "Hermione can answer that."

"Right," he muttered. "Auggie?"

Luna's smile was as brilliant as her namesake. "Augustus, like your middle name, of course. You'll be outvoted on that one, since Theodore II is already taken. He'll look like you. Draco and Hermione will want him named after you."

Theo wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry, but managed to suppress both urges in time to see his father and significant others walking towards him. Out of habit, his eyes glossed over them each in turn, reading them and making sure their apparent mirth wasn't just for show. He was satisfied when he saw it was genuine.

"Thank you, Phoebe," he said, pulling Luna in for a hug and kissing her cheek. "You'll have to come by soon. I imagine we'll be up here for a while."

She snorted. "Draco's sort of fallen in love with the pier and the lake. You may never leave again."

Theo was still chuckling when Hermione and Theron had finished their farewells with Luna.

Naturally, Draco was the first one to get curious. "Dare I ask?" He inquired, making Theo snicker again.

"Don't worry about it, Squishy," Theo said, smiling. "I'm just in a good mood, is all."

He threaded his fingers with Hermione's and kissed the back of her hand, glad she'd sat next to him for the drive home, and leaned against her.

"Good," said Blaise. "That party was relatively painless, all things considered."

Theron snorted, and without looking up from his phone, said, "I still can't believe Posy didn't invite Walburga. Well, I _can_ , but it's still hilarious."

"We need to send her a gift basket," Hermione muttered.

"Or four," Blaise added.

"Five," said Theron.

Theo fished his phone out of his pocket, remembering what Luna had said about Draco's engagement gift, and pulled up the string of emails between himself and the jeweler who'd help him design, and made, Hermione's ring. He passed her his phone.

She read quickly, glancing at him with what would have been an unreadable expression to anyone else, but he could see her anxiety.

"Luna-endorsed timing," he said by way of explanation. "I wouldn't have brought it up yet otherwise."

She chewed her lip briefly, hit reply on the most recent email from Ollivander, and asked him to have 'Ohana means family' engraved to both pieces. Her thumb hovered over the send button and she raised an eyebrow at him, awaiting agreement and permission. He nodded once, his heart starting to pound, and she hit send. Theo kissed her hair.

"Have they always done that?" Draco asked Theron, pointing to Theo and Hermione.

Theron glanced up, catching the last few moments of the Theo-Mione bubble, and smiled. "It's become eerier since they were small, what with the body language reading and all. But, for the most part, yes. They've always spoken Theominese."

"Oh my God," Theo groaned. " _Dad_."

"I can make up words if I want to, Theodore."

"If you loved me, you'd spare me."

"Who are you to decide how I display my love for you? But, if that embarrasses you so badly, I'll just start carrying a satchel with the big toddler years photo album and—"

" _DAD!_ "

Theron smirked, winked and Draco and Blaise, and laughed at his son before deciding maybe he'd tormented Theo enough for one night.

 **A/N: I know SOMEONE is going to ask, so I'm saying it now: NO I AM NOT GOING TO KILL THE NOT-SUBTLY-HINTED-AT EPILOGUE BABIES. My broken _adult_ babies have been through enough. _I'VE_ been through enough. I cannot, however, guarantee I won't kill you with fluff. I feel like I'm gonna jinx myself here, but there shouldn't be more than 2 chapters left. There's a bit left to wrap up before the epilogue, but _hopefully_ it's contained to A chapter.  
**

 **xoxoxo and love to all of you who've been with me on this roller coaster. You guys have been nothing but supportive and wonderful and I'm so honored to share this story with such an amazing group of people. You guys rock. And, if I don't manage to update again by Christmas, happy early holidays to everyone! And a happy new year!**


	12. Flood Gates and Diamonds

**Part XII**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

 **(Only minorly edited, and by me, so any errors are mine, as usual)**

Theo leaned against the wall and quietly observed his significant others. They were cuddled up on the couch watching _Lilo and Stitch,_ to his amusement, and he didn't want to interrupt the peace they were basking in by joining them.

When he'd passed through earlier they'd been watching _Finding Nemo,_ and Theo had the good fortune to show up right when they got to the origin of 'Squishy'.

He'd recorded it with his phone, secretly, as not to interrupt the entertaining flood of emotions that had passed over Draco's face. Theo's fingers had been itching towards his recording equipment lately, but he'd mostly quelled the temptation until that afternoon. Now he was tempted to make a new partition in the archives, one that he hoped would never be tainted by another drug addiction or unexpected death. It would be a new chapter for them all, if he let his poeticism run away with him, and proof that regardless of how much history Theo and Hermione shared, the boys still belonged exactly where they were: in their future.

And the first file would be the clip of his three dorks watching a Disney movie to get Draco and Blaise in on joke they'd shared for the better part of a year.

If Theo let his bitterness and sentimentality stew long enough, he'd pretend he was back at Uni and break down all the psychological tells the same way he had with dozens of videos he'd taken of Hermione and Regulus. The fact that Regulus had smatterings of … _things_ that weren't exactly rites of passage but weren't insignificant enough to ignore, over Draco and Blaise didn't sit well in Theo's mind, but it felt oddly childish to rectify the problem somehow. Like scribbling a picture and showing it to them so they'd tell him how well he'd done when it was bullshite and they all knew it.

Theo wanted it to be something he could 'accidentally' leave up on his computer upstairs for them to stumble upon either before or after he and Hermione stopped pretending the engagement gifts tucked in the back of Theo's sock drawer, in the bonus walk in closets _outside_ the master bedroom, didn't exist and hadn't been custom ordered from one of the oldest jewelry making families on the continent.

But perhaps they'd wait until the novelty of Theo not taking every opportunity to be a dick wore off.

It smarted, though it was his own fault Theo knew, that they would pause sometimes in conversation, squint at him, and wait for a snide comment or innuendo. They didn't seem to know what to do with him when he wasn't pissed off or being a jackass, and though their teasing about his health whenever he pointedly refused to make whatever obvious sex joke they'd unintentionally set him up for wasn't delivered with the intent to harm, he still felt an ache in his chest upon receiving them. The relieved glances they'd give each other, or the inquiring ones they'd send towards Hermione when he humored them — not that they knew what he was purposefully doing as they expected — left a dull throbbing behind, soothed only by Hermione's absolute refusal to remind them that they _knew_ he'd been more of an arse than necessary because it kept people from wanting to get close to him, and not because he was genuinely a piece of shite who could never turn his own bullshite off.

She had a sense of humor, his 'Mione, and Theo hoped he was around when the pieces finally clicked for the other two, just to see what unforgiving jab she'd send at them for being annoyingly obtuse.

Theo snuck past them and headed into the kitchen without being noticed for the second time that day and quietly set about making them something to eat that was more sustaining than popcorn and pretzels. They were nearing the end of the movie from the sound of it, and he knew for a fact that they hadn't eaten anything decent since breakfast. The question was whether he'd make 'bastardized spaghetti', as Blaise called it, or one of the heartier recipes he'd learned from his mum as a teenager. Then again, it had been a while since they'd gotten take away, and he'd kill for Japanese food.

He was skimming through their collection of take out menus when he heard Draco shout, though it was a rather whiny shout if Theo was being honest, in the other room.

"That's not okay! Nope. Nuh-uh. No, Hermione. I refuse."

Theo's lips twitched. He'd tuned out the movie, but he could guess what Draco was getting righteous about. He'd taken to getting upset on his and Hermione's behalves a fair bit more often since their dirty laundry had been aired, which was as entertaining as it was confusing for both of them. Theo and Hermione were too used to watching out for each other to really know what to do with someone getting as riled about one of them as they would for each other.

Theo would take this learning curve over losing them, though. He'd rather be confused than shattered.

"Right then so first of all, THEODORE NOTT, GET YOUR SHAPELY BUM DOWN HERE!"

"Kitchen," Theo called back in a reasonable, entirely mocking, indoors appropriate tone. "My shapely bum is busy."

He could hear Draco's annoyed huff even over the sound of Hermione's unrestrained giggling.

"You can't compliment his arse and get him to take you seriously in the same sentence, Squishy, you ought to know that by now," Blaise said, his voice carrying into the kitchen.

"Well, he could," Theo argued, just because he could, before Draco managed to retaliate. "If you got rid of the 'seriously' bit."

Hermione lost it while the double meaning in what he'd just implied sunk in for the other two, and with a roll of his eyes, Theo picked a few menus from places he was fine with getting food from and carried them into the other room.

He sat on the rug, threw the pamphlets on the coffee table, and said, "You have ten minutes to come to a mutual consensus and tell me what you want before I start to get hangry. Time starts now."

They'd moved around after Draco's outburst, with Squishy still on the floor while Blaise and Hermione had moved to opposite ends of the couch. Hermione was the first to lean over, plucking the menu he'd expected her to out of the pile, and said, "You have all the information you need from me, assuming they don't disagree."

He threw her a smile as she tossed the menu to Blaise for his inspection. She was right, of course. He knew what she ordered from nearly every restaurant they frequented. He needed little more than a "fetch" to get exactly what she wanted to eat.

He had solid guessed for what each of the boys wanted, but they still surprised him sometimes, changing their minds at the last minute or deciding to try something new. Theo's accuracy was mostly on point, which was impressive given the difference between how long he'd known Hermione verses the other two, but they still managed to do little things when he wasn't expecting them too.

Like Draco frowning at the menu when it was his turn, thought he didn't suggest another food type entirely, like Theo suspected he might. He stared at it a while longer, and eventually shrugged. "We could just get several of a few things and share," he said.

"As long as we get a fuckton of eggrolls," said Hermione, "and spring roll sauce."

"Duck sauce," Blaise said.

Hermione shook her head. "Not at this place. It's similar, but sweeter. They get annoyed if you call it duck sauce."

"Is that a metric fuckton of eggrolls, or…?" Theo asked, not even bothering to feign seriousness.

Hermione grinned at him. "If we're doing metric, make it two fucktons."

"Right then," he agreed. "So an obscene amount of eggrolls, with an equally obscene amount of spring roll sauce. And I know what your entrée is. We'll get 2 of yours, two of mine, extra fried rice, and an extra box or two of chicken."

"Noodles," Blaise chimed.

"A fuckton of noodles?" Theo asked, but Blaise smiled instead of answering. "A fuckton of noodles, chicken, rice, two metric fucktons of eggrolls with substantial portions of spring roll sauce. Am I missing anything?"

"Drinks," said Blaise. "And dessert."

"Alcohol?" Hermione suggested. "It's been a while since we've played with mix combinations."

"Vodka then," Theo said. "And maybe some Ogden's. Sodas. Juice, 'Mione, or those energy drink things you like?"

"Kickstarts. I'll be asleep before I can finish my metric fucktons of eggrolls if I don't throw some caffeine into the mix," she answered.

"Alright," said Draco, glaring between them. "How many times are you assholes going to say 'fuckton' before this conversation is over? And so help me God, whoever answers me with 'a fuckton' isn't getting so much as a peck on the cheek from me until they apologize for being juvenile and _mean it_."

Theo bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from reminding Draco that they each had three people to seek affection from, and that the strain of losing once might take longer to sink in for any of them than it would for him. Pissing Draco off further, while entertaining, might not be good for his evening.

Blaise also chose silent smiling, but Hermione, their bratty little angel, without so much as an amused waver in her voice, said, "A shitload, probably."

Theo and Blaise looked away, both on the verge of bursting out laughing, but neither willing to interrupt the showdown before them.

It was almost painful how refreshing a ridiculous, illegitimate argument was after the blow ups and outbursts they'd been trying to avoid repeating for months.

"You're a brat, you know that?" Draco asked.

She nodded, quite seriously. "I got that Bratitude."

The unexpected reference made Theo laugh until he cried and then laugh until his stomach hurt so badly his body was physically trying to make itself _stop already_.

"Of _all_ the jokes you could've made that neither of them will _ever_ get," Theo barely managed to say.

Blaise waited, quietly amused, for an explanation, but Draco's annoyed glare hadn't wavered a bit.

"Oh, I get the joke, Theodore. I liked that piece of shite movie for a few months growing up. Hermione's just not being clever."

To Draco's annoyance, Theo burst out laughing again, only this time, he laughed until he wheezed, and was still giggling too much to place their take away order properly when Hermione made a point to remind them that she wanted her 'two metric fucktons of eggrolls' sooner rather than later, so Blaise called it in instead and decided he'd been a hermit long enough.

"Anyone else stir crazy?" He asked, taking a set of keys from the bowl on the island. Two more cars had joined Theo's Audi in the semi-underground monster of a climate controlled garage with neither warning nor explanation. Hermione had made her ownership of a metallic periwinkle luxury sedan known and Blaise felt less ridiculous driving her car than Theo's Look-I-Have-Money-Mobile.

"Draco's seen the Bratz live action movie," Theo managed to say, his voice pitcher higher than usual and raspy from the laughter he'd yet to contain. "I can't fucking _breathe_."

"I'll babysit Wheezy over here," said Hermione, an amused smile tugging at her lips. "Maybe you should take Squishy for a time out drive to cool his temper."

"Fuck all of you," Draco muttered. "I'll go, but only because you're _going_ to need help carrying the food."

"The fucktons of food," Hermione corrected.

"We're no longer on speaking terms," Draco told her with a glare, making Theo choke mid snicker.

"Before we go," Blaise started. "What were you starting to yell about earlier, Dray?"

Draco's expression soured further. "The cackling hyena over here is Stitch and she's Lilo. That's why that movie means so much to them. And there will be no more self-demonizing in this household while _I'm_ in it."

"Only when you're gone then," Theo managed after a few calming, measured breaths. "Understood."

Blaise took Draco's hand and tugged him towards the door before his righteously defensive temper could gain full control of his mouth. "We'll be back," he said. "If you're singing shite music when we get here, I'm not giving you your food."

"I don't like Elvis," Theo assured him. "Watsky though? If I'm feeling upbeat, maybe some Bruno Mars. Drake sometimes. Halsey. Anything Mione sings."

Draco sighed and followed an amused Blaise towards the door, muttering about Theo's eclectic, almost nonsensical taste in music long after they were out of ear shot.

* * *

Theo rolled over with a groan and squinted through the darkness until he spotted his phone. The screen, though it was on its dimmest setting, made his eyes burn and he sighed.

Two in the morning on the dot.

Things never seemed to bode well when he couldn't sleep, but he decided to chance it, and spent a fair bit of time carefully detangling from Draco and Blaise. It wasn't until he was fully out of the bed that he realized Hermione wasn't curled up on Draco's other side, and he sighed.

Even in his sleep, even when they weren't sleeping side by side, he was in tune with her.

He snuck out of the bedroom and padded downstairs towards the kitchen. Then he checked the living room and the pier. He scoured the library, made sure all the cars were still present, and even checked the room that was, would have been, Teddy's nursery before the remodel.

But he found her in the office.

The cracked door was made obvious only by the thin stream of light reaching into the hallway. He'd just barely touched the door handle when he heard the familiar, accented lisp Hermione had possessed when she was small.

 _"Ouz Feo?"_ was being chanted in time with, if memory served, Hermione bouncing ceaselessly on her father's lap, to David's chagrin. Theo's natural memory of that day was weak, as they'd both been so young, but he remembered pestering his own father in the car about how long it would be until he saw Mine again, and where was Mine, and are we home _yet_?

 _"Jean_ ," David said, his voice pleading. _"How do we make her stop?"_

 _"You know she won't,"_ Jean replied. _"Not until Theron gets back with her best friend."_

 _"Ma Feo!"_ Hermione said suddenly. _"Ouz ma Feo. Ouz ma Feo."_

 _"What's 'Ouz'?"_ David asked.

Theo felt himself smirk at Jean's heavy sigh and gently pushed the door open so he could enter the room properly. _"_ _Où est_ _._ _Where is. David, if she can't teach you French, no one can."_

 _"She has to start using English eventually."_

Jean made a disbelieving noise that was echoed by quiet laughter — Theo's mother's — from behind the camera. Tiny, round-cheeked Hermione stopped bouncing to squint at her father. " _Dah?"_

David gave Jean an 'I told you so look' before smiling at Hermione. _"Yes, Princess?"_

 _"Pwee-jah av-ma lait?"_

David's expression faltered as Jean and Evangeline started laughing. _"Alright, you've had your laugh,"_ He grumbled at Jean. " _Now what'd she just say?"_

Hermione's expression morphed into an angry pout. _"Ma lait, Dah, ma lait!"_

Instead of helping her husband, Jean reached into the diaper bag by her feet and discretely pulled a bottle out of a chilled pouch. Hermione noticed and reached for it, but Jean hid her amusement long enough to give Hermione a stern look. _"Ask Daddy again."_

Giving her mother a dark look, Hermione said, very slowly, " _Pwee-jah av—"_

 _"In_ English _, Hermione Jean."_

Hermione's angry pout returned with a petulant, _"Je-voo Feo."_

 _"You want Theo because he'll say it in English for you. Ask by yourself or you can't have it."_

Theo's lips started to twitch during the several second long stare off between mother and toddler, remembering that he had once auto translated Hermione's wants to her father if he was in earshot, or at least, echoed what she said seeking clarification enough for David to piece the rest together. Without him there, David was more or less on his own.

Finally, after giving her father a glower that was almost intimidating coming from such a small, adorable human being, Hermione muttered, _"Ma_ Milk, _pease."_

 _"You'd like your milk?"_ David clarified.

Theo started to chuckle when Hermione nodded, met her mother's eye, and said, _"Oui."_

"You're up," Hermione muttered, not moving from where she sat in his chair. "What's wrong?"

"I was going to ask you that," he said, closing the door behind him before he went to stand behind her. "Why're you up, baby?"

She made a small noise in the back of her throat that Theo wasn't able to decipher, at least, not until they watched the video a little more, and his younger self entered the frame. His blood ran cold.

 _"Mine!"_

"Stop this," he said quietly. "Hermione, turn it off."

"I don't want to," she said.

Theo watched himself, his younger self that looked so similar to his son that it _hurt_ , hug Hermione as if his life depended on it until his eyes burned. Without asking, he reached for the mouse and closed the video.

Teddy had looked like him, but not enough. Theo had seen evidence of Hermione in his features. The image was burned into his brain with vivid clarity. He might have the same blue eyes and the same smile, but it wasn't enough.

When neither of them had moved or spoken for several seconds, Theo said, "That's not what our son would've looked like. Not entirely."

"I know what he looks like," she said. "There are differences between little you and him."

Theo swallowed the lump in his throat. This conversation needed to happen whether they wanted it to or not, and he very much so did not want to talk about it. But they _needed_ to.

"Come on," he said. "Let's go for a walk."

She didn't argue and he tugged her sleeve until she stood up. They made their way back through the house, then out the back patio, and began to leisurely circle the path around the lake. Theo couldn't tell which of them was leaning into the other, but he gave the small fingers between his own a gentle squeeze nonetheless.

"How long?" he asked.

"Since we decided to bring them to Wiltshire," she said.

"How often?"

She kicked an acorn on the path and they both watched it bounce several feet ahead of them. "At least once a week, I think."

Theo spent the following stretch of silence trying to focus on breathing normally. He wasn't sure if he was relieved to be spared more soul crushing visions of the son they never had or if he felt cheated. Or if any of that outweighed the hurt he felt because Hermione was once again saddled with the brunt of their grief by nightly reminders of what they couldn't have.

"Good dreams, I hope," he said. Then paused as he tried to put his next words together. "You know that no matter what it is, if you're upset about something, you can come to me. I know you do."

"So do you," she said. "But we're in the habit of protecting each other from any and everything we can." Her tired eyes glanced up to meet his own. "Even if that's ourselves."

Theo swallowed the lump in his throat and pressed his lips to her temple. "Is it unreasonable of me to ask that if this happens in the future, we tell each other we're leaning on the boys?" he asked. "Nothing specific, hell not even out loud. Even a text that says, 'Draco is helping me deal with something, I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk about it' that way we still _know_ something is going on?" He swallowed again. "We've never kept important secrets from each other and I'd rather not start now."

"I'm fine with that," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I kept it from you. I wanted to handle it by myself but I couldn't and you were struggling enough trying to make amends with Blaise and—"

He shushed her gently enough so she knew if she needed to get it off her chest she could, but still conveying that she didn't owe him an explanation. "I'm not upset with you, 'Mione. I'm just not used to not being the only person looking out for you when it comes to heavy stuff," he said. "Threw me for a loop, I guess, but I'm not angry."

Hermione kicked another stone. "Good," she said, but he could feel her hesitation before she spoke again. "You and Blaise doing okay?"

He knew she was referring to their occasional disappearances, usually initiated by a text from Blaise, and sometimes begrudgingly accepted by Theo. He wondered, briefly, what Hermione and Draco thought they were doing when they vanished. Draco probably assumed it was always for sex, but Hermione had probably picked up on the fact that it was more for damage control than anything. Though damage control _did_ often include sex.

But that wasn't the primary focus of their little rendezvous. Blaise knew, without Theo having expressed it aloud or intentionally hinted at it, that Regulus had made him jaded in more ways than one, and though it was an exhausting, frustrating process, Theo wanted to be free of that and Blaise was the only person qualified to take on the task.

Which was probably why Theo ever accepted the texted summons in the first place, even if he still felt more comfortable literally naked in front of Blaise than he did when he felt the urge to cry.

In the long run, Theo would probably be glad he'd pushed through the embarrassment, shame, frustration, and discomfort that came with talking about Regulus with Blaise. But for now, it felt like masochism.

"We're fine," he said, because it was true. They were. The jury was still out on Theo personally. "Rebuilt the bridge I torched. He's made it his life's mission to take every Regulus-planted issue I have and try to rip them up. Did you know his mother used to garden? Apparently he's well versed in weeding."

"He's well versed in patience and loving people," she said. "I'm glad you're letting him, or at least trying to let him, love you properly."

Theo's throat tightened again and he swallowed. "It's a control thing."

She gave him a slightly teary, sad smile. "It always is with us, Theo."

He pressed his lips to her forehead again in an attempt to keep them from trembling and tried to blink away the burning that had returned to his eyes.

She was right, of course.

* * *

Draco and Blaise looked up, both varying degrees of successful when it came to hiding their concern, when Theo and Hermione came in. They'd never gone back to sleep, instead spending their time walking the familiar trails between The Flat and the lake until their legs were tired, then sitting at the pier until the sun rose.

Guilt gnawed at Theo briefly. They hadn't meant to worry them and he knew Blaise still panicked if he woke up alone at times, but for the most part, they both seemed fine.

Draco's worrying nature shined through all the more when he had a chance to take in just how tired they both looked.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. "Come sit. I'll make tea."

Hermione's quietly muttered "Hufflepuff" as they moved to sit at the island pulled the barest of smiles from Theo, though he was, admittedly, far too tired to keep the expression in place for long. "We're fine," he said, trying to sound assuring. "Couldn't sleep. Went for a walk."

"In the middle of the night," said Blaise, his tone neither accusatory nor questioning. "I assume there's no wildlife in this area to worry about."

"Mostly owls," said Hermione. "And small woodland creatures. When these north-side properties were originally built, wildlife was driven out. The properties were fenced off more, guarded. Bigger predators still stay away. Well," she paused, "except for on the abandoned properties, according to Hagrid."

Draco made a quiet noise from the counter where he was fussing over tea. "Didn't some of those wackjob families have illegal undomesticated pets?"

"Allegedly," said Theo.

"Weren't most of those families doing _something_ illegal at any given time?" Blaise asked.

Hermione and Theo gave him looks. "More or less illegal than, say, harassing and blackmailing someone into accidental suicide?" Theo asked.

"Or harassing a pregnant woman," Draco muttered bitterly. "Bipolar old cow."

"Fair point," Blaise said, his tone somewhat strained. "Seems most of the 'Sacred Twenty-Eight' families went to the dogs."

"Ours are doing alright," said Theo. "Comparatively."

Draco was wearing a small smile when he finally turned around and started passing cups of tea to each of them. "Yeah," he said. "We're alright."

Theo found himself mirroring the expression. _Hufflepuff_ , he thought fondly. Judging by the contented smile Hermione was also sporting, she'd had the same thought.

* * *

They had just laid down when Draco asked the question.

Theo and Hermione, who was laying on him with her cheek resting over his heart, stiffened. Blood rushed in his ears, making him unsure he'd heard Draco correctly, but he couldn't find his voice to ask.

Hermione, ironically, managed to speak for both of them. "Repeat the question?"

Blaise and Draco shared a glance and Theo realized suddenly that they'd discussed this conversation before. Several times, perhaps.

Theo's heart thoroughly lodged itself in his throat.

Draco, much less confidently this time, tried his question again.

"Do you still want to make a family?" he asked. Then, quickly, he added, "Eventually, I mean."

The hand Hermione had resting against his ribs, on the side not facing the boys, squeezed him. He could feel her pulse, a steady, equally fast-paced thrumming against his skin just below his own pounding heart, and he looked away from Draco so he could turn his gaze to her.

Her eyes, shuttered, held a single question. The same question vibrating around his head, spinning and spinning to the point where he felt off balance, even though he was laying down.

"Your call," he said quietly, ignoring the growing tension across the bed. "I really wish I'd been more specific when I talked to Luna, but we're gonna have to trust our instincts instead of her cards."

The waver in his voice was audible, but he ignored it. It didn't matter if he was terrified, that they both were. What mattered was what they decided to do, or, how they'd answer Draco if she decided to stay in the bed.

Hermione slowly took in a breath and loosed it, the threat of tears showing only in the way her lips quivered during the action, but her gaze was still steadily holding his own. Horrified, but steady.

 _We've dealt with worse_ , he wanted to tell her. _We've survived worse. We've been through things as terrifying as this and more so. I'm scared too, but we'll take care of each other. No matter what happens._

She was shaking when she rose from the bed and left the room.

Blaise said his name, but Theo was distracted by the vertigo that had crashed into him. He knew he was holding his breath, felt his heart skip a few beats and stutter its way back into an anxious rhythm. His head swam, first slowly, then faster when he remembered to breathe again. He was dizzy. If he'd had more than the handful of almonds he'd eaten for dinner, he'd probably be sick.

Hermione took both too long and not long enough to return, the simple black gift box, large enough to hold two of his laptops, in her arms. She was playing with the silk bow on the front, the least obvious of the many anxious tells she had on display. They shared a look. Theo's dizziness didn't fade.

"What's going on?" Blaise asked. "You two are frighteningly pale and the last time you presented us with a box, it was full of letters, not sunshine and rainbows."

Hermione licked her lips and said nothing as she set the box on the bed and pushed it towards their confused and worried partners. She quickly came back over to Theo, who sat up in the hopes that it would help him breathe — it didn't — and was more than glad for her to settle in his lap. She hid her face in his neck, and he, almost frantically, clung to her and pressed his nose into her hair. His little rock, his fragile life line, helped his anxiety more than he knew was technically healthy, but he didn't care. He could breathe again. His blood pressure was still uncomfortably high, but he could _breathe_.

When he realized Draco and Blaise were still silent and unmoving on the other side of the bed, he wanted to cry, though in frustration or fear he didn't know. "Open it," he managed to choke out. "Just open the sodding thing, for fuck's sake."

The sound of ribbon sliding against itself was too loud and Theo was amazed he could hear over the sound of his own pulse. Paper and tissue paper rustled for a moment, then silence reigned once more.

Hermione's arms tightened around his shoulders and she pressed closer to him, as if she could will herself to hide under his skin, and he wished he could let her. Wished they could fuse into something safe and invisible and _whole_ but they were trapped in their own bedroom, by their own impulsive, foolish decision to bite a bullet they were certain was filled with acid and poison.

He pulled her closer still. Maybe if they held on tight enough they could hold themselves together. Maybe enough pressure would fuse the cracks in their souls. But even if that didn't work, he had her, and she had him. That had always been enough. Always would be, he hoped.

Draco sniffed, but other than that small, teary sound, he and Blaise were quiet enough to make Theo start counting the seconds that had passed in silence to ground himself.

 _One, two, three…_

A bit more rustling. Quiet.

 _Fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five…_

Draco sniffed again, grabbed something else from the box, and fell silent once more.

 _Three-hundred and nineteen, three-hundred and twenty, three-hundred and twenty-one…_

Blaise murmured something about how long it must've taken them to put all this together.

 _Nine-hundred and ninety-seven, nine-hundred and ninety-eight, nine-hundred and ninety-nine…_

Blaise said his name at one-thousand and twelve, and Theo blinked, glad he'd been stopped on an even number, but also wishing Blaise had given him eight more seconds, or spoken two seconds sooner. Even numbers that were also divisible by five and ten were more satisfying.

He felt disconnected from the room and his person as he moved his gaze from the wall to the boys. Their eyes were red, Draco's cheeks tear-stained, and their expressions miserable enough to reignite his fear. His panic must have shown because Draco's eyes refilled with tears.

"How long did this take?" he asked quietly. He picked up the stack of cards, each with handwritten lyrics from different songs or a literary quote, and the iPod Theo had loaded up weeks ago was in Blaise's hands. Draco plucked the CD's Theo had burned, made cover art, and cases for out of the box as well. "When did you _do_ all of this?"

Theo didn't know what to say, and was certain he couldn't talk if he wanted to. How did he admit that he'd started a playlist for them over a year ago? How did he explain telling Hermione about their other gifts — which were still in the box, he noted — when they were coming home from Pansy's soiree? How did he tell them about their many failed attempts to put their question, and how they felt, into a single, coherent conversation? How did he tell them that when Hermione couldn't use her own words, she'd gotten scarily good at adopting others'?

So, he shrugged, hoping they wouldn't press, and thankfully that was enough for them.

Theo realized, though he hadn't quite been unaware of the fact, just detached from it, that they still hadn't answered and felt Hermione shaking against him.

His counting resumed until seventy-four seconds later, when Blaise spoke up, his voice soft.

"You think there's a chance we'll say no, don't you?" he asked. "You two could've put these bracelets on the kitchen counter over tea without a word and we'd still be saying yes."

"Is that what all this is?" Draco asked, his voice cracking. "Are you begging us to stay when you don't need to?"

"They think they do," Blaise said, saving Theo from having to communicate an answer. "They think we need a reason. Think we need to know they need us, that we need an incentive."

"We need _them_ ," Draco said.

But Blaise, who knew far more than Theo or Hermione had ever explained to Draco, only shook his head. "We'd hurt without them. Hurt for a very long time, but as far as Theo's concerned, we would still be mentally stable enough to bounce back. To get over them." His voice began to waver. "Even though I don't think that's true. But it's how he, how _they_ , see it."

"But that isn't _true_!"

Silence rang thick in the room and Theo took it as his cue to start counting again. He didn't notice when he and Hermione started to slowly sway from side to side. He'd only made it to thirty when Blaise got his attention.

"Theodore."

Theo glanced up again, noting the determination brewing in Blaise's silver eyes.

"Whose is whose?" he asked.

Theo's eyes flicked down to Blaise's hands, finding the bracelets out of the box, but Draco sighed before Theo could try to answer.

"I know which one is mine," he said, sounding slightly resigned. He plucked the dragon-claw inspired cuff from Blaise and slipped it on his left wrist, shaking his hand so it settled comfortably. Then he squinted at the massive stone. "What is this? Onyx? Obsidian?"

"Black diamond," Theo croaked. He swallowed, winced at how tight his throat was, and tried again. "All the stones are diamonds."

Blaise inspected the intricate design of his bracelet for a moment before following Draco's lead and putting it on. "Honestly, I thought this one was Draco's, but I like it all the same."

"I like mine more the longer I look at it," Draco admitted. "I was expecting more knots."

Blaise nodded, smiling slightly. "Same."

Theo watched them, unmoving and unable to process the situation beyond acknowledging that he didn't feel any better. He was supposed to feel better, relieved, but it wasn't coming. Hermione hadn't let him go, launched herself at the boys, and started weeping with joy. She was still in his arms, tightly wrapped around him. Still shaking. And she'd yet to make a sound.

Theo must have checked out, even though he hadn't started counting, because Blaise said his name again, this time his voice firmly laced with worry.

"Hey. Theo, look at me."

"Can't," Theo muttered.

"Then listen," Blaise said. "The answer is _yes_. Yes and only yes."

"A thousand times, yes," Draco said quietly.

A heavy ache bloomed in Theo's ribs and spread outward until he was certain he'd break into pieces. But somehow, he didn't. He just hurt and he knew he shouldn't but he did.

He tried to get his mind to still long enough to figure out what was going on in his own head, long enough to try and figure out why Hermione wasn't better either, and lost the ability to breathe normally when she whispered the answer against his skin.

" _Why did they say yes_?"

Theo's brain didn't settle. It ground to a screeching halt.

They'd wanted a yes. But that wasn't what the boys _should've_ done. They should know better, they should save themselves, they should know they were chaining themselves to cement bricks and trying to swim, they should know they were making a poor investment.

 _I should've known I was wasting my time with you._

Regulus' voice rang clear in Theo's head once, then twice, then started a loop he couldn't interrupt until he was dizzy again and his empty stomach threatened to be sick anyway.

He thought he heard his name again, but he ignored it. Fissures he'd haphazardly filled in years ago split open all at once while his lungs started to burn and the pained sound her tried to stifle against Hermione's shoulder tore from his throat.

Everything was supposed to be okay and it wasn't. It wasn't and he wanted it to be but he couldn't close the flood gates once they'd burst. All he knew was that he still had Hermione, her grip on him painful now, as he was certain his was on her. He'd ride it out as long as he had her. He'd crash and burn against the emotional waves trying to drown him, pray he made it through the storm he didn't want to brave, and deal with putting his feelings back in the neat little boxes they belonged in when it was over.

"I'm calling Theron," he heard Blaise say, sounding very far away suddenly.

And for the briefest of moments, Theo was almost relieved.

* * *

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that his eyes hurt like hell. Then his throat. His face. His chest. Then the dull pain in his shoulders and arms. And then his head started to throb.

He blinked, squinting against the darkness, trying to place where he was. Someone moved against him, Hermione, but she was still asleep, by the looks of it. Draco and Blaise were gone, though. He wondered what time it was.

And he had the faintest memory of something to do with his father.

Sitting up proved to be a challenge. All his muscles made aching protests, but he needed the loo and he wanted to splash water on his face.

He managed to get up without waking her, albeit barely, and had just laid back down when the door opened quietly. Theo squinted through the dark, feeling small suddenly.

"Daddy?"

Theron shushed him, closed the door behind himself, and made his way to Theo's side of the bed.

"I'm here," he said. "How long have you been up?"

"Not long," Theo whispered, wishing his throat wasn't so sore and trying to remember what he'd done. Was he sick?

"You scared the hell out of me," Theron said gently. "How're you feeling? Do you remember what happened?"

A one-shouldered shrug answered the first question. "Not really," he said, then a panicked thought struck him. "Where are the boys?"

"In the hall," Theron said. "Worried sick over you two, but otherwise, they're fine. What's the last thing you remember?"

Theo had to think about it for a moment, and dread settled in his stomach when he had his answer. "'Mione brought the box in," he said. "They opened it, I think. I remember counting."

Theron nodded, satisfied, seemingly, with Theo's answer. "I was worried this would trigger something," he said. "I just wished I was wrong about how hurt you two still were after everything. Wished you'd healed as well as, I think, all three of us wanted to believe you had."

Theo's throat hurt worse when tears prickled in his eyes. "They're still here?" he asked. "Did they…did they—"

"Say yes?" Theron guessed. He reached out to brush some of Theo's hair from his face, his own eyes too bright. "Of course they did, Theo, what else would they've done?"

"Left." The word was little more than a broken whine.

"I think you're thoroughly stuck with them, love," Theron said. "Counting again, are we?"

Theo felt his lips quiver with shame and embarrassment and looked away.

"How long?" Theron asked, his voice gentle once more.

Theo shrugged again. "Fifty-two days," he said, the admission reluctant. "The shit storm that started all this lasted fifty-two days."

"Meds?" Theron asked, but Theo shook his head.

"Didn't notice a difference between being on them and off when she left," he said. "Haven't thought about them since, to be honest."

"They helped, or so you claimed," said Theron. "Might be worth considering. Though, I wouldn't discount the stress you've been under, and not handling well, clearly."

Theo tried to swallow the pain in his throat. "Easier to take care of her than myself."

Theron gave him a wry smile. "Story of your life, kiddo."

Theo smiled for a moment. "I doubt trying to…" He struggled to find the right words. "Trying to process some…less than fond memories with Blaise has helped."

"Drudging through old pain certainly takes its toll," Theron agreed. "Helps eventually though, or it's supposed to."

Theo nodded to signify that yes, purging old wounds by reliving them could be cathartic, but it seemed he'd tried to process too much at once, or that he'd assumed he was emotionally ready for something just because he was _mentally_.

He frowned down at Hermione, confused. He had the vague notion that she'd started to crumble before he did.

"Won't know what was going through her head until she's awake," Theron said, reading Theo's mind. "I assume you were both on the same page, just different copies of the book."

Theo's eyes started to burn again and he reached up to rub them with one hand. "She was at the flat more than I was. Got the worst of him most often. He was getting fluent in caustic by the end. Figure there are still things he said that she hasn't quoted to me."

"And the circumstances, despite how tragic they were, do not excuse how he treated either of you," said Theron, his voice hard. "Do you ever wonder if maybe how much effort you've tried put into forgiving him for what he did is why you can't get move past it?"

"'Forgiveness is the key to happiness,'" Theo muttered. "I don't know. I've tried being angry. I've tried not thinking about it. I've tried to accept it for what it was. I've tried forgiving him. Hell, Dad, I don't even think it's about him anymore. Not the way it was before."

Theron's expression turned thoughtful. "What happened to that professor you liked so much? The one with a chocolate problem."

"'The only time chocolate is a problem is when there is none,'" said Theo, smiling again. Two Remus quotes in one conversation. That was a new record. "Dunno. I don't think he's still at Hogwarts. Might've gone back to counseling."

"He's the only person who'd help you pick apart your own brain," said Theron, "as opposed to the textbook brainwashed wastes of time that tried to separate you and Hermione." His expression soured. "How that Umbridge woman every got licensed is beyond me."

"She lost it," Theo said, almost cheerfully. "Imprisoned now I think." At Theron's shocked stare, he added, "Abusing clients. Punishing kids with torture."

Theron looked like he wanted to be sick. "She never—"

" _God_ _no_ ," Theo assured him quickly. "No amount of threats would've made me keep my mouth shut if she'd hurt 'Mione, and vice versa."

Theron breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. The bitch. Bloody psychopath."

Theo hummed in agreement and Theron regarded him with familiar parental concern. "Feeling any better? Grounded or still floating around?"

"Still floaty," said Theo. "But better than I was."

"Think you can assure your fiancés that you're okay yourself?" he asked.

Theo wasn't quite sure what to do with the term, but nodded anyway, even as it bounced around in his head while Theron went to the door again.

Fiancés.

They'd said yes.

When Draco and Blaise came in the room, both showing the telltale signs of tears and worry, Theo felt the urge to cry again.

They'd said yes.

"Phone," he managed to say. Draco quickly found Theo's cell and passed it to him before pulling his own from his pocket.

 _I won't pretend to understand, because I don't,_ he typed. _Rationally, I know you're probably thinking the same way Hermione and I would've if you'd proposed to us, but that doesn't mean my brain's going to agree with that. Accept it._

Theo let those words sit in one of their Facebook group chats while he started typing again.

 _All I can think is that you should've said no without hesitation. That you should be walking out the door right now. That you'd be offended we even consider the idea._

He loosed that message too.

 _I know how fucked up that is. I do. But I'm fucked up so that's where I'm at right now. I don't get it and it's certainly not going to be something that sticks soon, but…_

He chewed on the unfinished thought before deciding to send it as it was.

 _All I know is that I love you. Both of you. All three of you. Everyone in this room, if I'm being unnecessarily accurate._

Blaise made a quiet, semi-amused noise.

 _I love you._ Theo typed again. Then, _Thank you. For staying, for saying yes, for…_

He sent that one while he thought. _For not doing what I'm expecting._

"Idiot," Draco said, his voice thick with tears. "Stupid, endearing, over protective, obnoxious—"

"We love you too," Blaise translated. "And don't thank us for doing the unexpected."

Theo gave him an inquiring look, and Blaise smiled. "We weren't exactly expecting you two either, you know. If you told me, the night I met Hermione, that this was where I'd be years later, I'd have wished you a good night and told the bartender you'd had too much to drink." At Theo's almost smile, he continued, "We'll figure this out. We'll get through it. All of us. You're not alone anymore."

"And you _never_ will be again," Draco said vehemently. "Ohana."

Theo choked on a laugh, smiled at the ceiling, and started to cry.

 **A/N: I keep thinking this fic will cheer up but it seems to live off my tears. I will not promise that next chapter starts happy. It doesn't. I do endeavor for it to end on a happy note, though, so fingers crossed. Remember when I thought they'd have tea with Narcissa for chapter 4? I have the feeling that'll be more like chapter four** ** _teen_** **. But it will happen, damn it. I refuse to deny us the pleasure of Narcissa vs Hermione.**

 **As always, you guys are awesome and sweet and just the most supportive loves ever. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews and for putting up with these broken, broken babies of mine.**

 **Ohana~**


	13. Stay

**Part XIII**

 **Obnoxious || Dra-mion-ais-eo || Poly || Non-Magic AU || NSFW Themes/Discussions**

The Flat was quiet and anxiety-ridden following the quartet's engagement. Theo and Hermione's sudden spike in clinginess to one another was neither subtle nor meant to be, worrying their newly claimed fiancés to the point of near insanity for one and exhaustion for the other. Which left Blaise staring into a fresh cup of tea while Draco bustled about the kitchen, looking for any and every task he could possibly occupy his time with.

"Do you think they're hungry?" Draco asked distractedly from the walk-in pantry. "I haven't seen them eat since breakfast."

Blaise wished he could tell Draco not to fret, that Theo and Hermione were adults who would absolutely come feed themselves if they got hungry, but so far, the two near-statues in the living room only seemed capable of remembering to bathe, sleep, and stay hydrated.

Theo hadn't even dragged Hermione into the kitchen to make sure _she_ ate. Not once. They only remembered to eat when Draco or Blaise mentioned it or brought a plate to them. Even then, neither party seemed very interested in eating.

"Maybe?" Blaise said. "I'm not starving, but I could eat." It was a half-truth. Blaise wasn't hungry yet, but if Draco didn't find something to do he'd start pacing again and worrying aloud and Blaise just didn't have the energy to bring Draco down from another anxiety attack at the moment.

"Do you…" Draco began, but stopped himself, frowning as he walked out of the pantry empty handed.

Blaise raised a tired brow. "You're thinking again."

"I'm worried about them," he muttered, glancing at the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. "They've been anxious, they've been afraid, they've been hurt, but Blaise they've never _broken_ like this. Not in front us."

Blaise sighed. "Not to make you worry more, but judging by Theron's reaction, I'd say they've probably only gotten to this point a small handful of times, if ever, before now."

"How do we _comfort them_?" Draco asked, his voice tight. "Damnit, I thought I didn't know what to do when we found out about Teddy, but _this_? How the fuck do you support people who normally support themselves?" A dark thought crossed over Draco's eyes. "Would…Do you think taking off the—"

"No," Blaise interrupted, unconsciously touching the bracelet on his wrist. "We're not taking them off. They'll either panic and think we're backing out or they'll freak out all over again when we put them back on. They stay on unless one of them says otherwise."

Feeling defeated, Draco took the stool across the island from Blaise and slumped onto it. Blaise frowned at his dejected fiancé as gears slowly turned in his mind.

"I think I have an idea. Or part of one at least," he said.

Draco's head was resting on his arms, which he'd folded atop the counter, and the blond didn't move his head when he glanced up. Blaise almost smiled at the puppy eyes look Draco was unintentionally giving him.

"They proposed to us," Blaise said. "They have a habit of nudging their way into doing things they aren't ready for. I think it's because they're afraid if they don't, nothing they want will ever happen."

"So they push themselves way out of the bounds of their comfort zones trying to face things when they shouldn't be pushing themselves so hard," Draco said slowly.

Blaise nodded. "That's how it seems. It looks like bravery but it's just—"

"Backwards self-preservation," Draco interrupted, his eyes widening in realization.

Blaise gave him an intense look. "Exactly. They hurt themselves first so they aren't caught off guard by someone else later. They lay all their cards on the table but it's a bluff." He ran a hand through his hair. "The proposal wasn't something they needed to make them feel more secure. Not the way it happened."

Puzzled once more, Draco sat up a bit straighter and asked, "Well it's not like they can propose again. We accepted."

Blaise smiled and dropped his voice. " _They_ can't, but _we_ can."

* * *

Theron took a thoughtful sip of coffee while he mulled over the plan his future sons-in-law had presented to him. He'd have an easier time analyzing their ideas if he could stop noting the blindingly obvious differences between the pair sitting across from him in his living room and the former Black scion.

The most notable difference of the hour being the lengths Blaise and Draco were willing to go to for Theo and Hermione's happiness, well-being, etc., etc.

"You'll have to outshine them, of course," Theron finally said. "They put together quite the custom proposal package for the two of you. You'll want to plan this out."

"Already there," Draco muttered quietly, making Theron laugh.

"And I suppose you've started looking into wedding plans already as well?" He asked, only slightly teasing.

Draco fidgeted nervously. "It's not like I can make any progress when I can't even ask for half the group's opinion on color schemes and flower arrangements."

Theron covered his mouth with his hand, but it didn't do much to stop his suddenly untamable laughter. When he did finally regain some control, he wiped his eyes as the last of his chuckles faded and took a much needed, proper breath of air. "I wish they'd brought you both around sooner," he said. "I can't imagine the priceless moments I've missed. Even when things are rough the four of you manage to be a riot to some degree."

"Don't ask about the night we met Theodore," Blaise said seriously. "I mean it. It was ridiculous. Hilarious, yes. But still the most surreal experience of my life, I'd say."

Draco tried and failed to not giggle at the memory. "Custody schedules," he muttered, making Blaise snort and nearly choke on his drink. "Payback's a bitch innit?" Draco said with a smirk when Blaise sent him a glare.

"Theodore has a certain flair for first impressions," Theron said, a sly and knowing look on his face. "Has a talent for misdirection, that one."

"You think it'll work though?" Blaise asked, bringing them back on topic.

Theron nodded. "I think it would ground them and grounded is something they aren't right now. They don't handle being adrift well, if you hadn't noticed. Hermione less so than Theodore, but despite what they like to think, they aren't immune to pain just because they have each other. Do I agree with their former psychologists and counselors about the state of their bond to one another? Not even remotely, but I can acknowledge that their idea of braving a storm is just suffering in silence _together_ instead of alone. And while that may have been sufficient in the past to help them bounce back, that doesn't mean it always will be. If nothing else, maybe this will show them that the pair of you can be what they need, just as they've already established they are for you."

"Silence is definitely the word," Draco muttered. "Though I can't fathom how they could decide we're enough for them without assuming the opposite is also true, and also believing that we don't need them."

Theron gave the pair a sad smile. "' _If leftover pain succeeds at anything, it has mastered lying to us about what we see and how we feel about it._ ' That's how an old professor of Theo's described them to me when I asked. He said their problem wasn't their attachment to one another, openly admitted that their bond probably saved their lives on more than one occasion, and that the only things poisoning that connection were old pains and fear. ' _If they ever learn how to tend to their wounds, how to put their fears to rest, I think you'd be surprised how quickly they'd remind you of their younger selves._ '"

"Clever man," said Blaise.

Theron's smile grew a bit brighter. "Perhaps when this is all said and done, you should ask Theo if you can meet him. I'm sure Remus would have a field day reading the lot of you. He was just as bad, if not worse, than Theodore is about that near-mindreading shite." After a moment, Theron added, "Maybe convince them to have some get together with their old friends. I think the more people from their 'past life' that they introduce you to, the more permanent the two of you will feel to them."

There was silence between the three for a few moments as they each retreated into their own thoughts for a time. It wasn't until Theron made a face that the conversation resumed.

"Oh, and tell Hermione if she doesn't deal with Narcissa soon she's grounded. Zira and Lucius won't shut up about her squawking. _Apparently_ Daphne Greengrass threw a fit when Astoria brought Pansy home, spilling all of your business to Narcissa in the process, and your mother is out for answers. That said, I really hope Daphne doesn't still live with her parents. I get the sense Tori wouldn't hesitate to help her girlfriend break into her childhood home and do awful things to that rotten sister of hers. Not to mention Pansy's been quietly doing frowned upon things to defend Theo and Hermione's honor for years without their knowing. I rather think she'll be annoyed if she's outed because of a formal investigation into the murder of her future sister-in-law."

Draco's eyes widened. "Would Pansy _really—_ "

Theron raised a brow. "One of Regulus' football mates crossed a line at one point while they were in University. She dated him for a month to get his trust and the last I heard he would probably suffer from fertility issues for the rest of his life. I didn't care to know the specifics of how she put him in such a situation."

"But Pansy's a lesbian," Draco said. "As far as we know she always has been."

"That's correct," said Theron. "But Pansy is vindictive, _dangerous_ , feisty, and I'm not entirely certain she has a limit when it comes to serving her own brand of justice."

Draco and Blaise shared a glance. "At least she's on our side, sort of," said Blaise.

"Be _very_ glad for that," Theron agreed.

* * *

A few candles were their only source of light. Theo had quietly talked Hermione into joining him in the shower while the boys were preoccupied. Neither of them felt up to dealing with fluorescent lighting, so Theo had shuffled about finding candles to light and leave on the counter. The pale orange glows from the various wicks were just bright enough so Theo could see Hermione more-or-less clearly when his eyes adjusted to the dark. It was enough that the light reflected off the water as it ran down her sides. It was enough to guide them. It was enough for him to still be able to see her despite the steam rolling thickly around them.

It was enough.

The nearly too hot spray from the shower and resulting warmth of the air seeping into his skin loosened muscles he hadn't known were tense and poured heat into his bones. He washed Hermione's hair, using his fingers to gently comb out the tangles her curls had knotted into. She, in turn, washed his, massaging his scalp with practiced skill until he sighed, relaxing further, and pressed his forehead against hers.

When they were both completely clean and free of the dangers of getting soap in their eyes, Theo wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, relishing in her softness and finding comfort in her closeness. He buried his face against her neck, breathing in steam and vanilla-citrus body wash and argon oil conditioner and Hermione.

They held each other until Theo sighed and shifted so his forehead was pressed against hers once more. Warm rivulets of water streamed down both of their faces. They didn't speak. They didn't need to. All the words they might've said were suspended between them, hovering on clouds and slips of steam that managed to wrap around their bodies or twist through gaps where their skin wasn't touching.

I love you.

I'm here.

I've got you.

I won't let go.

* * *

When Theo and Hermione went to bed early, Draco used the few hours of lessened anxiety to make himself more anxious. Namely, by taking his and Blaise's engagement gifts, and Blaise, across the house in the same room he'd been hiding the wedding plans.

"I thought you were being dramatic when you told Theron you'd already started planning," said Blaise, eyeing the mostly empty binder Draco had pulled out of a dresser drawer in the guest room he'd pulled them into.

Draco, as expected, gave him a look. "I need _something_ to do."

Blaise raised a brow, fighting a smirk. "How many fiancés do you have?"

"Stop channeling pre-field trip Theo!"

"Is 'field trip' really the right title for the past few months? We've moved to Wiltshire, Dray. That's not a field trip."

Draco glared at Blaise as he set their box of engagement goodies on the bed. "I can always do this alone," he said, keeping his tone falsely light.

Blaise's smirk drew a small growl from Draco, but the blond was determined to stay on topic. Blaise's playful attitude faded when Draco opened the box and started pulling out the various handwritten cards Theo and Hermione had made for them.

"What's this about then, if we're not talking about the wedding?" Blaise asked.

Draco took a deep breath and stood up straight once he'd laid everything out to his liking. "Their proposal was…I mean _perfect_ aside from the mental breakdown bit, but it was _endearing._ They put time and thought and planning into it." Draco took another breath, puffed out his cheeks while his thought, and blew the air out evenly. "I want to do something similar, something that resonates on _their_ level. I've been trying to come up with things we could do since we talked to Theron, but I really think we need to mirror what they did for us."

Blaise picked up the cards, covered in beautiful penmanship in the form of song lyrics and literary quotes, to inspect them again. They were numbered, a detail Theodore probably insisted upon, and after organizing them, Blaise read them in order.

~1~

 _There's a place that I know  
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone  
If I show it to you now  
Will it make you run away?_

 _Or will you stay  
Even if it hurts?  
Even if I try to push you out  
Will you return?  
And remind me who I really am  
Please remind me who I really am_

~2~

 _If I told you this was only gonna hurt  
If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn  
Would you walk in?  
Would you let me do it first?  
Do it all in the name of love  
Would you let me lead you even when you're blind?  
In the darkness, in the middle of the night  
In the silence, when there's no one by your side  
Would you call in the name of love?_

 _If I told you we could bathe in all the lights  
Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky?  
Would you trust me when you're jumping from the heights?  
Would you fall in the name of love?  
When there's madness, when there's poison in your head  
When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed  
I will hold you in the depths of your despair  
And it's all in the name of love_

~3~

 _You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down  
You, you enchant me even when you're not around  
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down  
I'm latching on, babe, now I know what I have found_

~4~

 _Remember those walls I built?  
Well, baby they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make a sound  
I found a way to let you in  
But, I never really had a doubt  
Standing in the light of your halo  
I got my angels now_

 _~6~_

 _You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you._

 _~7~_

 _In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you._

The fifth card was the longest of the lot and after listening to the iPod they now shared, Blaise learned it held almost all of the lyrics to Christina Aguilera's _Bound to You_. There were a few spots where Theo or Hermione had altered the lyrics partially, which Draco and Blaise figured out after several listens of the tracks used, but the theme was present. And Draco had made a point to acknowledge that the literature quotes on the last two cards were both from Jane Austen novels.

"What are you thinking we should do?" Blaise asked as he set the cards down again.

"Scavenger hunt," Draco said, the answer escaping with anxious haste. His need to discuss the idea painfully obvious. Blaise was only somewhat surprised when Draco took a folder from the back of his wedding binder and handed it to him. "Six lyric cards. Twelve clues, half of which are hints to the next clue's location, the other half will spell out the full clue to the location of _their_ engagement items."

Blaise raised a brow. "I don't recall shopping."

Draco glared at him. "We still have to do that part. And pick the songs. And decide where we're hiding all these things."

"Are we playing dumb?" Blaise asked. "I'm pretty certain that Theo and Hermione will still pick up on us sneaking around, even though they've been out of it lately. I don't want to make them panic on top of everything else because we don't have half a chance in hell of hiding something from Theodore."

"We admit that we're up to something if they call us out and leave it at that," said Draco. "No sneaking. It's a surprise, not a secret."

"It's kind of secret."

Draco sighed at him and Blaise smiled to show he was just giving Draco a hard time.

"Hermione already has a ring," he said suddenly, frowning. "She can't exactly wear two without looking pretentious."

Draco folded his arms against his chest, looking smug. "We got bracelets. They get bracelets. Then we all match. It makes sense."

"It's toeing the line between twee and affectionately sentimental," Blaise said dryly. Then he sighed. "I have to go jewelry shopping with you."

Draco's expression morphed into one of great offense. "Excuse you. I have self-control."

Blaise stared at the wedding binder and the proposal folder before he brought his gaze back to Draco. "Oh," he said. "Sorry, love. I'd never noticed."

"Are we doing this or not?" Draco snapped. "Because I'll do this by myself and you can propose to _all three of us_ by _yourself_ later, because I've only received _one_ proposal and you weren't in the initiating party."

Blaise resisted the urge to chuckle at Draco's antics. "Yes, Narcissa, we'll go through with your ridiculously complicated proposal. What's first? Making the clues or finding their bracelets?"

"Clues," Draco mumbled. Blaise raised a teasing brow. "Just in case I'm distracted during phase two. I need to be fully focused for this."

"But Dray," said Blaise. "You have self-control."

If it weren't for Blaise's quick reflexes, the proposal iPod Draco threw at him would've left a mean, difficult to explain bruise on his left cheek.

* * *

It wasn't until Blaise put the engagement bracelets in their gift box — a box that while quite similar to the one they'd received a few weeks prior, but had a green and silver ribbon tied in a needlessly complicated bow on top — that Draco's anxiety turned unproductive.

"This isn't going to work," the blond groaned as they hid the gifts away. "It's too _twee_."

"Oh shut it," said Blaise. "If Theo decides to tease us for our methods, we'll just go find something to tease him about in the archives."

Draco groaned again. "Are we ready for this?"

Blaise snorted. "Probably not, no."

* * *

Theo was looking for his hairbrush when he found a piece of stationary in one of the bathroom drawers. He felt his brows rise in confusion as he pulled it out, not understanding why or how such an item had found its way amongst Hermione's hair things, and quickly read it.

~1~

 _Cause I don't wanna lose you now_

 _I'm lookin' right at the other halves of me_

 _The vacancy that sat in my heart_

 _Is a space that now you hold_

 _Show me how to fight for now_

 _And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy_

 _Comin' back here to you once I figured it out_

 _You were right here all along_

 _It's like you're my mirrors_

 _My mirrors staring back at me_

 _I couldn't get any bigger_

 _With anyone else beside me_

 _And now it's clear as this promise_

 _That we're making_

 _Four reflections into one_

 _Cause it's like you're my mirrors_

 _My mirrors staring back at me, staring back at me_

He stared at the note for a long time, not quite sure what he was looking at and not sure he wanted to think about it very hard either. But he recognized the handwriting, as clean and proper as expected from whatever handwriting lessons Narcissa had put Draco through. At least Theo and Hermione's parents hadn't been ridiculous about it, despite the fact that both had the same skillset. Though Theo was certain the fonts they'd been taught to write in and molded to their own writing style were probably less pretentious than the beautiful, but showy, penmanship before him.

"What're you up to, squishy dragon?" he muttered to himself, setting it aside so he could resume making himself presentable.

He'd talk to Hermione about it later.

* * *

It was Hermione who first flipped the note around, discovering the clues on the other side.

"I didn't even think to check the back," Theo admitted. He wasn't sure where the boys were. They'd claimed needing to go to the store, but for what, they hadn't said. " _Compensation?_ and _Where_. What the hell is this supposed to mean?"

"Clues?" Hermione guessed. "It seems like a puzzle."

"A scavenger hunt?" said Theo.

"For what though?" Hermione wondered.

Theo flicked the edge of the stationary in her hands. "More clues?"

Hermione frowned at the paper. "What are they up to?"

With a sigh, Theo said, "Only one way to find out."

* * *

When Theo discreetly managed to get Hermione to meet him in the study, he had another card in his hand and looked annoyed.

"You found the next one?" she said, moving towards him and sitting on the edge of his desk. "Which of the words was the clue?"

" _Compensation?_ " Theo answered, still frowning. "And before you ask, no, it was not in the toy box."

Hermione's lip twitched. "'Toy box.' That's one thing to call it. Where'd you find the clue then?"

"The glove box of my Audi," he muttered.

She pressed her knuckles against her lips to hide her smile. "Blaise's doing, I think."

Theo grunted his agreement, but his expression grew more serious as he passed her the second card. As she read the lines, she frowned as well.

~2~

 _I miss you, yeah, yeah_

 _After all that we've been through_

 _I never told you that I do_

 _But I miss you_ _, oh_

 _Even after all this time_

 _I got your body on my mind_

"What is this?" she asked.

"I don't know if I want to think about it long enough to figure it out," Theo admitted. "Obviously they're trying to talk to us, but without actually talking to us."

"We did the same thing with the…" Hermione swallowed. "Mimicry. Whatever they're trying to say they want it to resonate."

"Resonate on a level that meshes well with…well, _us_ ," Theo added. "We're not…I know we've haven't been…"

"Yeah," Hermione muttered, nodding. "It's just hard."

"Doesn't feel right," Theo said. "It should, but it doesn't."

"The anxiety is crippling," she sighed. "But I also don't want to try an explain it."

"Because it's mortifying and impossible to put into words?" Theo said bitterly.

Hermione sighed again. "Yes," she said, flipping the card over. "That." She frowned. " _Invitation_ and _Your_."

Theo cursed and shook his head. "Whatever they're playing, they're in for the long game."

Hermione frowned at the words. "Maybe not…"

* * *

Her initial hunch was right. They found the next clue sealed in 3 of the plastic freezer bags they normally used to store meat and leftovers they wanted to make last longer. The wad of plastic was down at the lake on the pier. It had been duct taped around one of the pier supports above the water line, but given the rain the night before, the makeshift waterproofing had been a good call.

"Draco," Theo had guessed.

Hermione nodded. "This is where I told him about the Soiree."

They went back inside, carefully extracted their third clue, and read it in silence.

~3~

 _I'm better under your reflection_

 _But did you know, did you know, did you know, know_

 _That's anybody else that's met ya_

 _It's all the same, all the same, all the same glow_

 _Honey, it's rainin' tonight_

 _But storms always have an eye, have an eye_

 _Tell me your covered tonight_

 _Or tell me lies, tell me lies, lies, lies..._

 _I want you to know that it's our time_

 _You and me bleed the same light_

 _I want you to know that I'm all yours_

 _You and me, we're the same force_

" _B.S._ and _Path_ ," Theo read aloud when they checked the back of the card.

"I got nothing," said Hermione. "Bullshite could encompass a lot of things."

Theo agreed with her, but the location clue made his brain itch for the rest of the day.

* * *

Theo glared at the pantry. He didn't want to be right, but if he was, then he would be annoyed.

He started moving things around, searching for cream stationary and finding it exactly where he hoped it wasn't.

"Blaise, you piece of shite," he muttered to himself, setting the box of spaghetti noodles back in their rightful place.

Hermione was puzzled when he brought showed her clue number four.

"What was bullshite?" she asked.

Theodore rolled his eyes. "B.S. Bastardized Spaghetti. It was in the bloody pantry."

Hermione almost smiled. "Blaise again."

"Cheeky shites, the both of them," mumbled Theo.

~4~

 _Stand up like a solider, baby_

 _Yeah, I know you're built like that_

 _Gun it like a holster, baby_

 _Show dem say you're wicked like that_

 _We live where the war is raging_

 _Chasing our crazy dreams_

 _Hoping that the bridge won't cave in_

 _Tonight we let it all go free_

 _Show them you're flame to the fire_

 _It's written like your name on a flyer_

 _They wanna tame your desire_

 _But you light it up, now your aims getting higher_

" _Archives_ and _to_ ," Hermione said. "So the next one is here?"

They looked at each other for a moment, thinking.

"They have to be more creative than that," said Theo.

"Blaise chose reggae music for the last clue, which is the most blatant race joke made by anyone other than you in this house, and you really think they didn't hide the last clue in a painfully obvious location?" she challenged.

With a sigh, Theo used two fingers to prod his keyboard out of place, frowning in annoyance when he saw the edge of another piece of stationary.

"This is what happens when a Hufflepuff and a Ravenclaw try to be Slytherin about something," he muttered.

"All things considered, they've done well with…whatever this is," Hermione said. "They've been clever enough to confuse us."

"Hiding in transparency," said Theo. "Gonna credit that to Blaise. Squishy dragon gets credit for the clue placements and most of the song choices though. Very Puff-like."

Hermione shook her head at him and reached for the card under his keyboard, flipping it over before reading the lyrics. " _Take One_ and _Us_ ," she said. "Well, the game was fun while it lasted."

Theo frowned, also at a loss when it came to their next location clue, but tapped the card so she'd flip it to the other side.

~5~

 _I stared up at the sun_

 _Thought of all of the people, places and things I've loved_

 _I stared up just to see_

 _With all of the faces, you were the one next to me_

 _If I lose myself tonight_

 _It'll be by your side_

 _I lose myself tonight..._

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah_

 _If I lose myself tonight_

 _It'll be you and I_

 _Lose myself tonight..._

 _Take us down and we keep trying_

 _Forty thousand feet, keep flying_

"Draco," Theo and Hermione said together.

"I'm really interested to see what _Take One_ means, but I don't even know where to begin," Theo admitted.

With a shrug, Hermione gathered up the cards they already had and put them in the top drawer of Theo's desk. "We'll either find it or call them out in a few days."

* * *

The sixth clue was found by accident. Theo had been looking for warm socks to wear around the house and the note had been in the bottom of his sock drawer. He sighed when he saw it, finally found his socks, and took both upstairs to the office.

He sat in his chair, ignoring the meddlesome card, and texted Hermione after he'd donned his socks.

She had a plate with a pile of crisps held between two sandwiches, each cut diagonally. After setting it down and taking a crisp from the top of the pile, she saw Theo's inquiring stare and shrugged.

"Draco's very not subtle about being concerned," she said. "And to be fair, we haven't been eating well."

"Not hungry," Theo muttered, but he grabbed a crisp anyway. "Feels like I've been in limbo this whole time."

"Floaty," Hermione added, agreeing. "Unsettled. It's gnawing."

"Still sweet of him to make us lunch," Theo said. As he picked up a sandwich half, he flicked the card so it would slide across the desk towards Hermione.

"There's only one word on the back of this one," she said.

"Must be the last one," Theo guessed.

She hummed thoughtfully as she read.

~6~

 _You were a vision in the morning when the light came through_

 _I know I've only felt religion when I've lied with you_

 _He said, "You'll never be forgiven 'til your boys are too"_

 _And I'm still waking every morning but it's not with you_

 _You're drippin' like a saturated sunrise_

 _You're spilling like an overflowin' sink_

 _You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece_

 _And now you're tearin' through the pages and the ink_

"Halsey," she said. "I mean, we've known most of the songs so far, but…"

"D'you think they know who we associate that song with?" Theo asked, forcing himself to take another bit of ham and swiss despite having even less of an appetite than before.

"I'm sure they figured that out, but they picked a very specific verse." Hermione took another crisp. "The first verse and chorus are Regulus's, and Sirius' if you think about it," she said. " _Your little brother never tells you, but he loves you so. You said your mother only smiled on her TV show. You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope. I hope you make it to the day you're twenty-eight years old."_

Theo's snort was bitter, but hearing Hermione sing the familiar song, even though it was only a verse and that _particular song_ held pain for both of them, was soul soothing.

"Clever of them," he admitted. "Taking something we associate with Regulus and making us associate it with them."

Hermione didn't comment, but she did get the rest of the cards out of Theo's top drawer and move to his other side where there was more desk space to work with.

Theo watched her them in order and then flip all of them. She narrowed her eyes at the clues on the back for several moments before fetching a piece of paper and a pen. She scribbled something quickly, tore the sheet, and passed it to him. He took it with a mild sense of trepidation.

 _Where your path to us began._

"The first words on every card," she said by way of explanation. "Our last clue."

"I… don't think I want to know what's at the end of this scavenger hunt." Theo took a deep breath and worried his bottom lip in thought. "This could mean a lot."

"I think we have a general idea of what they're referring to," Hermione said carefully.

"Oh there's no doubt," he said, his throat suddenly too tight for him to keep forcing his lunch down. "Luna mentioned something similar after the Soiree. Said she thinks Teddy was never meant to make it. That he was meant to—"

"Put us on a path to them," Hermione finished. She ran an anxious hand through her hair, pushing loose, slightly frizzy curls out of her face in the process.

"We know where this ends, don't we?" Theo asked.

"I think we do," Hermione said, sharing an anxious glance with him. "They've gone through a lot of trouble to try and make a point. The least we can do is find out what that point is."

Unwanted food forgotten, Theo reached out as he stood, threading his fingers through Hermione's when she placed her hand in his. Together, they left the study and made their way through the house.

* * *

The room that was once Teddy's nursery was mostly empty. The walls were still the pale blue Theo had painted them. He'd been adamant about doing it himself and even more adamant that Hermione's involvement be minimal for her and Teddy's health. The furniture that had once filled the room had long since been packed away in storage. The clothes, blankets, diapers, and other supplies they'd bought or been gifted had been donated, save for the things they'd kept with the unspoken understanding that they might try to build a family again in the future.

One of the three boxes along the left wall held the items they'd decided to keep. The other two were filled with old wedding plans and the few odds and end items they'd collected to start planning decorations. Theo considered leaving the box somewhere for Draco to find, but wasn't sure he was ready to plan another wedding. Or be in the danger zone while Draco did it.

The only thing out of place in the mostly empty room was the black box on the floor. It was eerily similar to the box Theo and Hermione had given Draco and Blaise, only there were ribbons and a bow in Slytherin colors.

"Do you think it's for us?" Theo said, his voice full of quiet sarcasm. "I can't tell."

"It's adorably heavy-handed," Hermione said softly.

"You mispronounced _twee_."

"You're criticizing it because you're nervous."

"You're scolding me because _you're_ nervous."

The stared at each other until their lips twitched. Hermione shook her head as she stepped into the room at sat on the floor in front of the box. "Come on. Let's open our heavy-handed—"

"Twee."

"—present like good significant others."

Theo joined her but purposefully didn't reach for the bow to hide his shaking hands. Hermione hesitated as well.

When Theo realized he was grinding his teeth he sighed. "We're afraid of a box."

"Correct."

"If you take off the bow I'll open the damn thing."

Hermione fiddled with the obscenely complicated, though very pretty, bow for a few moments before she managed to free the box. Theo took a breath before reaching out and lifting the hinged lid, immediately noticing the words on the underside, standing out against the black of the box in silver ink.

 _Waiting for the time to pass you by_

 _Hope the winds of change will change your mind_

 _I could give a thousand reasons why_

 _But I know you, and you've got to…_

They went through the box in a daze.

Ten cards functioned as tissue paper, layering atop the true contents and hiding them from view. Each card held a portion of song lyrics, all, they assumed, from the same song. The first card matched the underside of the lid. The rest only proved to emphasize the final message of the scavenger hunt.

 _Stay_.

Theo thought his heart would be pounding, his breathing shallow, or some other such intense, adverse reaction would have started overwhelming him, but none came. He even felt Hermione's pulse in her wrist when she took one of his hands again, squeezing it for comfort. She hadn't started to panic either.

He wondered if they were going to at all.

The pressure in his chest wasn't suffocating. He was nervous, yes. Anxious, yes. He thought he should probably be tearing up, but was too busy trying to get past the shock. There was a feeling, something rooted in his chest and stomach that he couldn't name, that neither stirred nor tightened. It felt thin, a stark contrast to the feeling that had closed in on him the night he and Hermione proposed. If that night was thick slabs of concrete being forced together until they crumbled, reduced to dust and gravel, then what he felt now was a pane glass quietly shattering.

Like a window letting in a breeze.

And despite the faint numbness dancing over his skin, Theo felt light for the first time in far too long.

"Do we get to keep them?" he asked Hermione. "We won't lose them? They won't be snatched away?"

"I think…" She swallowed. "I think we might."

The jewelry boxes were at the bottom of the box, surrounded by a circle of flowers. Four roses, an aster, a red carnation, and a white chrysanthemum.

Hermione touched the petals on one of the roses with shaking fingers. "Red roses for love, orange for passion, and green for rejuvenation of the spirit," she murmured. "Aster for patience and 'love of variety'. Red carnation for love, admiration, and pride."

"And the white chrysanthemum?" Theo asked quietly.

"Truth and loyal love."

They sat for a while, just staring at the jewelry boxes, before Theo moved on impulse and reached for one. There was a small square of paper inside with a simple _T_ written on it, and he thought it ironic that he picked up his first.

"It's a bracelet," he told Hermione. "Diamonds and emeralds."

Hermione followed suite and opened hers, blinking when she noticed the similarities between the two pieces.

"Ours match," she said. Theo noticed the tremor in her voice but didn't comment. "Oh…"

He didn't tear up until he saw her trying to blink away her own emotions.

"O-ours match b-because—"

"We're 'all but the same person'," Theo whispered.

When he put an arm around her she broke, but he knew she wasn't sobbing because she was upset or afraid. She was crying, they were both crying, because their boys understood them better than they'd realized.

Theo didn't try to stop the tears that dripped down his cheeks. He held Hermione until her own emotions settled, kissing her hair at random intervals and wishing he could focus on more than the moment he was in. He wanted to figure out what they'd say when they went back downstairs and found the boys. Wanted to figure out how to tell his father. Wanted to tell Pansy and Luna, even though Luna was almost certainly aware of the situation and likely had been long before it took place. He wanted to know what to do.

But instead, he took Hermione's left hand, gently clasped her bracelet on her wrist, and kissed the engagement ring he'd bought her years ago.

When Hermione calmed down, she sniffed, returned the favor by putting his bracelet on him, and asked, "So what are the odds that Draco hasn't already started planning the wedding?"

Theo nearly choked on a bittersweet laugh. "Zero."

* * *

Draco and Blaise were frowning at something in the kitchen when Theo and Hermione found them. Their pace had been unhurried, almost leisurely, as they walked hand in hand. Hermione still gave the occasional sniffle, but aside from red eyes and the faintest of worn out smiles, the two had regained their emotional bearings.

Draco dropped the letter in his hand, which Theo noticed _clattered_ at it hit the counter top. He only just managed to squint at the somewhat familiar, needlessly thick stationary before Draco noticed their current state.

"Is everything oka—" He stopped himself, noticing Theo's wrist when he rubbed his sleeve over his eyes without thinking about it. " _Oh_. Um… Hi."

Draco's sudden nervousness and flushed cheeks made Theo wish he had the energy to smile properly. Blaise, while slightly nervous, shook his head at Draco's transparency.

"Told you it would take less than three days," he said.

"Shut up," Draco mumbled.

Hermione sniffed lightly again, her voice still tight from crying. " _Won't admit what I already know. We've never been the best at letting go."_ Eyes wide, Draco and Blaise stared at her as she sang. " _I don't wanna spend the night alone. Guess we need you…"_

"Damn it," Draco said, his voice slightly whiny as he rubbed a sleeve against his eyes. "I didn't want to bloody cry again."

Hermione stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Draco, hugging him tightly before kissing his cheek. Draco wiped the back of his hand over his eyes when Hermione let go and moved towards Blaise, who pulled her near and pressed his lips to her hair.

Theo eyed Draco for a moment, his gaze assessing, before he sighed and pulled the sniffling blond forward. "Emotions are hard, Squishy," he said quietly. "I've got you."

Draco managed a whiny "Shut up" but held Theo tightly all the same. Still high on his unexpected lightness, Theo kissed the blond soundly when they pulled back.

"Love you," he said quietly.

Draco's only response was to hug him tightly once more and bury his face against Theo's shoulder.

After catching Hermione's slightly concerned glance, and Blaise's amused shake of his head, Theo made a face that would normally be accompanied by a shrug and mouthed 'What'd you expect?'

Hermione returned with a silent 'Trade?' that Theo accepted even though he wasn't in a rush to escape comforting Draco. Once she was snuggled up against the emotional blond, Theo took her place with Blaise, content to lean against him in comfortable silence. He didn't move again until Hermione spoke up several moments later.

"So how far have you gotten in the wedding planning, Squishy?"

Draco's offended attempts at denial were cut off when he was faced with three raised brows, and the least convincing liar in the room gave up.

"Fuck all of you," he muttered bitterly. "And _not far_ because I can't exactly _do anything_ if we haven't all agreed on colors and shite. Besides," Draco looked away, cheeks pink despite his attempts to keep his scowl in place, "I had an idea I wanted to run by everyone once…y'know…things _settled_ again."

Sensing that Draco didn't want to reveal said idea at the moment, Theo shrugged and said, "Well, put your notes together and we'll go over some things once you've got all your ideas in order."

Pulling away from Blaise, Theo took a deep breath and surveyed his fiancés for a moment before his gaze landed on Hermione. "I just realized we fucked something up."

Hermione racked her brain, but couldn't figure out what he was referring to.

With a small sigh, Theo gave her a defeated look. "We neglected to inform someone with a particularly nasty temper that we're engaged. Again. And we stupidly promised she'd know within 12 hours of it taking place if and when we found ourselves engaged again."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Hermione moaned, putting her face in her hands. "She's gonna kill us."

"Who?" Draco asked.

Sounding defeated, Theo and Hermione mumbled, " _Pansy_."

* * *

 **A/N: We might... _finally_...be past...all...the feels...**

 **Maybe...next chapter...will be... _funny..._ and not...and emotional hellstorm...**

 **Tea with Narcissa may very well be on the horizon, my dears... ;) And _of course_ , someone has to tell Pansy about the engagement...**

 **Ohana~**


End file.
